Where the Forgotten Go
by FairDrea
Summary: Sing (2016 Movie). There comes a point in the lives of many who suffer from depression or trauma. A point where they take the person they used to be and bury them. And they think that once those "other selves" are buried, they're gone for good. But they're not. What happens is so...absurdly surreal that the only way I can think to describe it is to tell you my story. Johnny/OC.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Welcome to my newest addiction! Didn't want to go do the movie, didn't care for the previews...went, loved it, obsessed over it, bought the soundtrack...I'm a gonner! Join me...if you dare. ;) Usual disclaimer applies - I own nothing of Sing and make no profit from writing this.

 **Where the Forgotten Go:**

 **Chapter One**

 _There comes a point in the lives of many who suffer from depression or trauma...a point where they take the person they used to be and bury them. They mentally sever themselves from who they used to be to become someone new, to grow and to get away from the burdens holding them back._

 _And they think that once those "other selves" are buried, they're gone for good._

 _But they're not._

 _What happens is so...absurdly surreal that the only way I can think to describe it is to tell you my story. To tell you the story of the day I was buried alive by myself and found a different life better suited for me, a new adventure I wasn't afraid of, an acceptance that had albeit abandoned me in my previous life and a reality that might have terrified the hell out of me at first...but I eventually embraced it, grew within it and realized that by letting go of myself, I'd been given a chance at a blissful freedom I would never take for granted._

 _And I would eventually forgive the new me because she what she gave up by getting rid of me set me far more free than being trapped within her would have._

Nails individually nailed with sharp finality.

One after another.

Even though it was being done mentally, it was still a deafening noise. One Karina couldn't help but flinch at. She decided that, out of all of the trauma's she had experienced, watching a determined mirror image of herself close her into a coffin was the most terrifying. Yet, she was helpless to stop it. Who she was now was determined. She was tired of depression, tired of being scared, tired of being helpless and determined to put an end to who she was to be someone new. Unfortunately, who she was wasn't just thoughts and dreams. It was a part of her that she sawed loose and was now attempting to shut away, running from everything ugly and flawed in hopes to find something better.

Karina hoped she would. She hoped to hell the girl would. With the extreme lengths she was going to, destroying and burying a part of herself had better be damn worth it.

The final nail went in, the light went out, and stillness fell thick and heavy around her.

With a sigh, Karina gave in and closed her eyes.

It was only a matter of time before the muffled noises of a future being lived without her faded into a mild annoyance. She would never be a part of it, so it mattered little to her.

She never noticed the day it shifted, that the lull of voices turned into the lull of water, accented by the gentle slap of waves against her prison. The shouts of men jostled her slightly, but not enough to pull her from the coma-like state she'd managed to fall under. The sudden lurch caused her brows to furrow, but nothing more.

Then there came the sound of metal slamming against wood.

With a gasp, Karina sat up, promptly knocking her head against the wooden slats of the coffin lid and yelping in pain.

Again, metal scraped against her confines and she pushed herself back as light permeated the darkness.

"There's someone in there!"

 _I'm in here,_ she thought, her mind fuzzy, blurred around the edges, lethargic from how long she'd been out.

 _I'm in here…._

Why did that matter? She knew she was in there. What would it matter to her to think-.

 _Because now someone else knows you're in here!_

Karina opened her mouth and attempted to speak but nothing came out beyond a pitiable croak. She lifted her hands, her arms weak from lack of use, and pushed against the lid, trying to help them.

 _Get me out of here! Let me out!_

"Quick, call an ambulance. There's someone trapped in here!"

Her pulse tripped, pounding in her ears and hope surged to life. _I am trapped! I was trapped! Help! Please…_

The excitement was far more than she could handled. Her vision started to cloud and she swallowed the thick lump suddenly choking her. This time, when she succumbed to the darkness, she tried to fight it but eventually lost, slipping under the black curtain once more.

It was soft, methodical beeping that woke her much later.

Turning her head to the side, Karina tried to open her eyes, squinting at the intrusion of light. Light wasn't something she was used to. Not at all. Slowly, she adjusted to it and things came into focus. She was in a small hospital room under a powder blue quilt. From her hand extended a thin tube. Fluids more than likely. She looked up at the machine overhead, watching the monitors affirm her existence for a moment before turning her gaze to the one window looking out over a brilliant sunset that painted the sky hues of pink, blue and violet.

"Well, you're awake then-."

Karina turned towards the voice, not surprised that she wasn't alone. Of course she wouldn't be alone. Girl found alive in a coffin...not exactly something people would just walk away from without wanting several answers to several questions.

Sitting next to her, wrapped in gauzy violet fabric was a tall, willowy woman...with the face of a sheep.

 _Okay...that...I did not see coming._

Karina opened her mouth, attempting to speak. As before, nothing came out beyond a raspy attempt at a near-cough. She had the fleeting thought that perhaps there was something besides fluids dripping into her system. Something that provoked sheep-like hallucinations.

The sheep-lady reached over to her side and a moment later, a glass of ice water was in front of Karina's face. She grasped it, glancing skeptically at the woman, then took a sip. With as unused as her voice was, the water scratched it's way down, alleviating the dryness with a painful chill.

"Slowly, darling girl. Heaven forbid you end up sick all over yourself."

 _Oh good, the hallucination has sound advice._

She took another sip, grateful that the grating feeling was starting to fade, then handed it back with a nod of thanks.

The sheep-lady set the cup down before folding her hands...no...her hooves in her lap. "Did you want to attempt to say something again? I'm assuming you speak English."

It was a statement, not a question. With a faint smile, Karina nodded.

"Well, by all means then...do try."

Karina took a deep breath and again, attempted to say something. "Wh..where am I?" she managed, though her voice sounded horrible.

"Very good, dear. You are at Saint Andrew's Hospital. Some workmen at the dock found you washed ashore in a-," she pressed a cloven hoof to her chest and slightly inclined her nose, "coffin. At least, that is what they claimed it appeared to be. I must say...you look unlike anyone I have ever seen before."

Karina dropped her head, catching sight again of her hands as she did so. They looked brighter than normal but still like hands. Not hooves or paws. Just her hands. Carefully, she lifted the one not compromised by an IV and pressed it to her nose and cheek, happy to find that they seemed normal as well.

 _But she said I look unlike anyone…_

The sheep-lady was not a hallucination.

The monitors registered her shock, the beeping coming more quickly. Karina took a deep breath, willing her heart rate back to normal. So she was in a room with a sheep. She seemed nice enough, genuinely concerned. And it was worlds better than being alone in a coffin.

"Do you know what happened to you?" the sheep-lady asked.

Karina paused, then shook her head. No one would believe the truth of how she'd ended up nailed in a coffin and washed up on the shore of some place she knew nothing about. And given the circumstances, she could pull off amnesia well enough. It seemed the safest route to go until she had a better idea of what was going on.

"Do you have a name?"

"My-." _Amnesia...right._ "I think...it's Karina."

"Very good. I'm Nana Noodleman."

The air of importance she spoke her name with indicated wealth and prominence. She sounded like someone who expected her name to be known and known well.

The door to her hospital room opened, admitting a gazelle looking woman in nurse scrubs. "Ah, you're awake," she said with a hesitate smile, taking the chart from the foot of the bed and looking it over. "How are we feeling."

"Fine, thank you," Karina replied. Her voice was slowly starting to sound like her own again. Still very much unused but now more like a raspy whisper than a nasty croak.

They sat in patient silence as the nurse checked over her vitals and Karina attempted to wrap her head around the reality she found herself in. She seemed...solid somehow. Not as she was before, not the part of someone larger cast aside but...real. She had her own heartbeat, her own skin, her own thoughts.

 _Maybe I actually died…._

The nurse, seemingly satisfied with what she was seeing, cast one more surreptitious glance at Nana and left the room.

"Why are you here?" Karina asked once the door closed behind the nurse.

Nana stood, walking over to the window, her cape trailing behind her. "The hospital director is a good friend of mine. When you were brought in, it caused quite a stir. A Jane Doe looking the way you do-."

Karina couldn't tell if she should be insulted or not by the way the woman described her. There was an undercurrent to her words that left an uneasy feeling in Karina's stomach.

"There is no one in this town that comes close to having the wealth that I maintain, no one with as much power as I. That is a simple fact, not a statement made to boast, I assure you. A fact that you should be well aware of. Out of everyone in this community, it is I who could protect a phenomenon like you far better than anyone else, with intentions of doing just that - protecting you. Whatever you are-."

"Human."

Nana turned to her, arching one wooly brow. "Beg pardon?"

Karina twisted the quilt nervously between her fingers. "I'm a human."

Eyes narrowing, Nana studied her. It was unnerving and Karina felt a sudden, unexpected surge of anger. Pressing her lips together, she stared back, silently daring the woman to make a condescending remark.

It didn't come to that, however. If anything, the scrutiny melted away and admiration shone in the other woman's eyes. "Whatever that is, my dear, is not what exists here. Once you are well enough, you will return to my home with me and your appearance will become nothing more than a questionable shadow easily forgotten by anyone who had direct contact with you. I understand that sounds bleak, but _you_ must understand that I am acting in your best interest. I doubt there's another person here who would offer you as much."

Karina frowned. "So I'm just...supposed to go into hiding with someone I don't even know?"

"Do you have a better idea? If so, I would love to hear it."

There wasn't a single one she could think of. She had no clothes, no money, and no idea what waited for her outside those doors. "Why would you do this? You don't even know me."

"No," Nana said with a smile. "But you intrigue me. And I may have ulterior motives. You are clearly in need of some support. And I am in need of companionship. I believe you and I can come to the agreement that this would benefit us both, yes?"

"By companionship you mean-." Karina asked hesitantly, not quite comfortable with the idea.

"I live in a very large house, Karina. It does tend to get a bit lonely. I could do with some interesting company - someone to have daily tea with, to play cribbage with. With wealth comes the knowledge that those around you will not see you for who you are, but what you have. You, my dear girl, know nothing of me, just as I know nothing of you. To me, that makes you the ideal companion." She returned to Karina's bedside, lowering herself gracefully into the chair once more and folding her hooves in her lap. "So, do we have an agreement?"

Karina managed a wry grin. "Do I have a choice?"

"You do not."

With a sigh, Karina shrugged. If anything, life would at least be interesting. There would be light and sound, someone she could talk to who seemed comfortable with her even though she was different. "Yes. We have an agreement."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** How you guys made it through the first few typos in chapter one is beyond me! I'll go back and fix them. Hopefully there will be less this time around. I gave it a quick scan but I'll let you guys be the judge. Enjoy!

 **Chapter Two**

One month had passed. One month that had been the most interesting months of her life and, regardless of Karina's need to remain as hidden as possible, Nana had made many efforts to show her the world she now found herself in. It had started with clothing stores to help establish a wardrobe (a hooded sweatshirt had been a necessity and though Nana turned her nose up at over-sized blue and violet creation Karina had picked out, that was all she had done). Once Karina was better able to hide _what_ she was, Nana had opened up the opportunities to small bistros, back tables in fine eating establishments (where Karina sorrowfully and silently accepted the fact that she would now have to live as a vegetarian), low-traffic museums and art shows, and most recently, a gorgeous theater Nana had recently purchased. Karina had sat up in the balcony, leaning over the railing and watching in fascination as a small white mouse went toe to toe with a koala bear, both dressed in sharp suits. It was made even more highly entertaining when three piglets ran on stage and started bouncing around the two men arguing. She'd covered her mouth to smother a giggle and quickly leaned back when the mouse glared up at her, pulling her hood closer around her face.

That had been over a week ago and as much as Karina appreciated Nana's attempts at getting her out when she could, Karina was starting to feel the walls of the massive house closing in around her.

They'd settled into a routine of sorts - breakfast on the veranda every morning, a walk through the sloping gardens of Nana's estate afterwards, tea for Nana and coffee for Karina at ten over a mutually agreed upon game of cribbage, backgammon or Gin, then lunch generally followed up with Karina reading to Nana in her study. The older woman claimed to enjoy the sound of Karina's voice as she read and Karina enjoyed reading, so it worked out well for both. It helped that Nana never selected books that bored her and usually involved some level of adventure.

It was the afternoons that seemed to drag on. Usually Nana would leave to take care of various errands and Karina would have nothing more to do than wander around the house, watch TV or sit on the window seat in her bedroom and watch the world pass by in the distance.

After a month of this, she was decidedly going stir-crazy and becoming more and more anxious as she tried to figure out the best way to approach Nana regarding it. Thankfully, one afternoon, Nana took care of the issue for her.

They were sitting on the couch in the study, Nana on one side fanning herself, Karina curled up on the other reading a book about a dashing duke and the duchess he was constantly furious with when Karina grinned and set the book down in her lap.

"You know...I'm noticing a trend with these books. All of these women have tea and hang out in studies or parlors reading books or playing piano. Sounds a little familiar," she teased.

Nana regarded her with a dry look. "Making fun of an old woman for enjoying an older lifestyle, dear?"

"No, just making an observation."

She lifted the book, hiding her grin behind it and looked through the words to find her place.

"You have been extremely fidgety lately, dear. I must say, It's making me quite uncomfortable. Is something wrong?"

"Wrong?" Karina asked innocently. "Oh, no. Nothing's wrong."

"Hmm...you lie horribly."

Karina sighed and set the book down again. Nana was providing the opening for her. There was no point in not taking it. "Nothings... _wrong._ I just...I appreciate everything you've done for me. You've been so kind, taking me in when you didn't even have to-."

"But-?" Nana interrupted.

"But I'm starting to feel...claustrophobic. I know you have things to do and I would never expect you to put your life on hold just to make me happy but when you leave in the afternoons, there's nothing for me to do but walk around the house and try not to think about everything going on out _there._ " She gestured to the window with a sweep of her hand. "I just...wish there was something I could do. Something to keep myself busy with outside of the house so I don't feel like such a freeloader."

Nana tsked. "Darling girl, you are _not_ a freeloader."

"I know that. I just...feel like one."

Snapping her fan closed, Nana tapped it on her leg, considering Karina's words. "Do you wish to have a job?"

"A job?" The question caught Karina off guard. All she had wanted was to get out once and awhile. A job would offer her the chance to get out every day. "I wasn't really thinking along the lines but I wouldn't mind one. Is that even possible?"

"It could be." In one fluid movement, Nana stood, tossing her fan to the couch. "I have to stop at the theater today to go over the finances with my accountant and the manager. Why don't you get ready and you can join me. We'll speak with Mr. Moon and see what could possibly be done."

It couldn't be that easy. She'd been so meticulous in keeping herself hidden, there was no possible way she could hold down a job without destroying all of those efforts. "You're not serious."

"Of course I am, dear," Nana said with a patient smile. "Mr. Moon is in...extensive debt to me. And his little theater family is quite tight-knit. If there is any way to get you out out of the house and help you to feel like less of a burden, this would be that opportunity."

Excitement surged through her and Karina jumped up, wrapping her arms around Nana and hugging her tightly. "Thank you so much!"

"Don't thank me yet." Nana patted her back. "Go. Find something suitable to wear. We shall leave in thirty minutes."

"Yes ma'am!"  
Karina took off for the stairs at a dead run, more excited than she could ever remember being. She adored Nana, truly she did, but the need to socially connect with more people was gaining momentum and becoming overwhelming. She burst through the door to the room Nana had given her, a sprawling room that was simplistic in it's elegance compared to the other rooms in the house. Her bed was still a mess of tangled blankets and sheets that she hadn't made yet and she she quickly shrugged off the nagging voice telling her to do so before they left. She'd be sleeping in it soon enough anyway.

She pulled free the t-shirt and shorts she stuck to wearing around the house and dug through her drawers for a pair of navy leggings, wishing she could wear jeans instead but that was entirely out of the picture here. Jeans were not made to fit someone with her body structure in this world. Over them, she pulled on a pair of thick cream socks and skipped to the closet. She opted for a knit hooded sweater that matched her socks, knowing Nana would frown her disapproval if she came down the stairs in her usual hoodie. It also looked much more appropriate for an impromptu job interview. Last, she pulled on a pair of high brown boots, zipping them up the side and yanking her socks up to peak over the tops.

She swung by the bathroom to run a comb through her hair, frowning at the tangled blonde mess it had become without it's usual daily treatment. With a sneer, she gave up on trying to make it look decent and pulled it back in a messy bun. It would have to do. No one would understand what they were looking at or what humans considered a classic updo anyway.

With a smirk, she yanked her hood over her head and dashed out of the room. She was breathless by the time she hit the landing, smiling brightly at Nana when the other woman looked down her nose at her.

"You could at least make an attempt not to look so excited to get out from under my watch."

With a laugh, Karina held out her arm for the older woman to slip her hoof through. "I'm sorry. I'll try to reign it in a bit."

By the time they reached the theater, Karina had managed to not only reign it in, but to lose her excitement altogether. Anxiety took a hold of her, fiercely twisting her stomach into tiny, cold knots.

 _What if this doesn't work? What if they freak out when they see me? What if they call authorities in?_

"Having second thoughts, dear?" Nana asked as the driver exited the car and came around to open the door for them.

She was. She most certainly was. But wasn't that what had gotten her here? Doubt? Fear? Anxiety? That package deal had been too much for one person to handle. Karina pushed her shoulders back and forced away the wave of nerves. "No."

She followed Nana up the stairs and through the gold plated doors that lead into the theater. The main doors leading to the stage were propped open, the lights on, but the theater itself was quiet. They climbed the staircase to the second level where the offices were and Karina bit back a gasp when a hunched chameleon in a bright yellow smock and poker visor shuffled into view.

"Mrs. Crawley," Nana greeted loudly. "Is Mr. Moon in his office?"

"What? Oh! Hello, Mrs. Noodleman. Are you here to see Mr. Moon?"

Karina bit her lip, grinning at Nana's sigh. "Yes, Mrs. Crawley. I assume he's in his office."

"He sure is, Mrs. Noodleman. Would you like me to tell him you're here?"

"I'll take care of that myself, thank you," Nana said dryly, already moving past the chameleon to the side office. Karina quickly followed, nodding to Mrs. Crawley, though she didn't think for one moment she saw her. She was already moving in another direction, almost as if she were in a world of her own.

The koala bear from the other day was sitting at a desk in the office, feet propped on it while he talked on the phone. He noticed Nana and smiled, waving her in.

"Would love to chat longer but I've got a very important person waiting for me, Dave. We'll catch up later." He hung up the phone, hopped off the chair and came around the desk. "Nana! To what do I owe the immense pleasure?"

"The books, Mr. Moon. My accountant should be arriving shortly."

"Ah, yes, yes yes, the books. Of course! I'll ask Mrs. Crawley to bring up some coffee-."

"That won't be necessary, Mr. Moon. Before Mr. Carver arrives, there is a matter of business I would like to attend to. And it is imperative that what we are about to discuss stays within the walls of this theater. Understood?"

The smile on the koala's face wavered slightly and he risked a quick glance at Karina.

"If this is about the financial state of the theater-."

Nana held up a hoof to stop him. "No, Mr. Moon. I trust you've been keeping up your end of the bargain in regards to maintaining my investment. What we need to speak of is much more...delicate. Please, sit."

Mr. Moon did as he was told, going back around the desk and climbing up into his chair. It would have been mildly humorous to Karina, if she hadn't been such a nervous wreck. Nana took up one of the office chairs facing the desk, motioning for Karina to take the other.

"Mr. Moon, this is my companion," she said, gesturing to Karina.

"Ah, yes. Eddie said something about you having a new house guest. Hello Ms.-."

Nana turned a smile to her and nodded. "Go ahead, Karina."

With a trembling hand, Karina pushed her hood back and watched the shock wash over Mr. Moon. She suddenly felt as if she were some kind of mutated freak in a horror movie and wanted to run, but she sat where she was, her gaze darting back to Nana for reassurance.

"It's alright dear," Nana said softly, placing a hoof over Karina's hand. "Mr. Moon, as I'm sure you can see, Karina's situation is...extremely special. She washed up on shore over a month ago with no memory of where she came from. I've kept her sheltered in my home but she's feeling…"

"Claustrophobic, Mr. Moon," Karina supplied, turning a hesitant smile on the koala. "I know that Mrs. Noodleman has to keep me safe but...it gets kind of boring wandering around that house all by myself all day."

"She talks!" Mr. Moon yelped, now standing on his chair and leaning over the desk.

"Been doing it all my life," Karina muttered. This no longer felt like such a good idea. If this was the reaction she was going to get from everyone she came across, staying in hiding wasn't sounding so bad after all. "Maybe we should just go back home," she said softly to Nana.

"What? Oh! No, no!" The koala lept off the desk, running up to her and taking her hand. "I'm sorry, Miss. I completely forgot my manners. Buster. Buster Moon. And I am _so_ sorry for reacting like that. Please, forgive me. So, how can I help you feel a little more free?"

It was an odd question, coming from a koala bear. So much so that she couldn't help grinning. "Um...well, I was just...looking for something to keep me busy in the afternoons. Maybe...maybe a job? I don't need a paycheck or anything. Just...something to do."

"Can you sing?" he asked hopefully.

Nana shot him a sharp look. "Discretion, Mr. Moon."

"Not to save my life, sir," Karina said.

"Ah, well...doesn't matter. A job, you say? Shouldn't be too difficult to find you something to do around here. Never a dull moment at the Moon Theater!"

"Karina, dear….why don't you go wander around for a while," Nana suggested, eyeing Mr. Moon distrustfully. "He and I shall discuss the importance of your situation further but my accountant be arriving soon. No need for any more excitement than necessary."

Karina didn't need much more of an invitation to make herself scarce than that. Flipping up her hood, she shoved her hands in the pockets of her sweatshirt and made her way back downstairs.

She slowed her pace when she hit the landing, sighing heavily. She had expected to feel good about the meeting. Instead, she felt the heavy, sinking weight of depression yanking insistently at her. She was used to not fitting in, to being the odd one out. But for some reason, being that person here hurt more.

 _Probably because you are a_ person _here,_ she thought somewhat bitterly, walking to the open double doors. Voices were coming from the stage and she paused, leaning against the doorway and watching two pigs and a punk-rock looking porcupine chat animatedly as they moved speakers and props around the stage.

 _Koala businessman, talking pigs, punkrock porcupine...and I'm the weird one in all of this-._

She moved away from the doors and started slowly down a hallway, glancing at the aged posters lining the walls as she went. There was one of Nana, one Karina had seen before in the study from back when Nana used to perform at the theater. She'd spoke of those days with such bittersweet fondness. They were some of Karina's favorite stories the older woman would tell during her less rigid moments which were, undoubtedly, few and far between. Like her feature posters, Nana Noodleman held herself with pride and confidence. She made it look effortless. It was something Karina both envied and pitied in the woman.

She found herself at the end of the hallway before too long and moving into the wings of the stage where the lights were low and she could catch glimpses of glass lined practice rooms on the second level through the catwalks. She started up a wood staircase that lead to the second level just as something small and pink came careening around the corner. Karina had a mere second to discern the small pink something as a piglet before it caught it's hoof on the top step and stumbled downward.

With a startled cry, Karina lurched up the steps, catching the tiny thing and smacking her hip against a step in the process to keep the piglet from getting hurt. She curled into the achef, groaning softly.

"Are you okay?" came a tiny voice.

Glancing down at the piglet, Karina forced a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. Are you okay?"

The piglet ignored the question, tilting her head to the side and regarding Karina curiously. "You don't look fine. You look...strange."

"Strange? How-?" she started, then realized that in her hurry, her hood had fallen back. She quickly yanked it back up as best she could with one hand, keeping the other secured around the child. "I'm okay. Really. But are you okay?"

"I'm super fine!" the piglet said, her bright smile reflected in her baby blue eyes. "You have yellow fur! Can I see it again?"

Karina laughed softly. "Maybe later. What were you doing running so close to the stairs, sweetie?"

"Oh, I was playin!" The piglet plopped down in Karina's lap, making herself perfectly at home and picking at the pocket on her sweater. "Do you have candy?"

"Hm, I don't think giving you candy would be such a good idea. Besides...I don't have any. Shucks, huh? What's your name?"

The piglet, clearly doubting Karina, leaned forward and peeked in her pocket, huffing when she found that there was, in fact, no candy. "I'm Hannah. Who are you?"

"Karina. Nice to meet you Hannah. You said you were playing?"

"Yeah!" Hannah stood, wobbling slightly and reaching for Karina's hood. "I was playin' with Johnny. I was gonna hide an'-."

"Hannah! There you are!"

"Johnny!" the piglet yelped, leaping out of Karina's lap and dashing up the stairs. Karina stood, biting back a groan as her hip protested the movement. She could already feel the bruise forming.

"You can't run off like that, Hannah! Your mum would have killed me if I'd 'a lost ya. Stop doin' that."

"I was just talking to Karina."

"Karina?"

Half expecting to see another pig, Karina turned to look up the steps and was suddenly very glad there was a banister there to grab a hold of. Instead of a pig, a lanky gorilla stood at the top of the steps, Hannah cradled in his arms. A gorilla in torn blue jeans with black sneakers, a green shirt, a leather jacket and a British accent.

 _Oh dear God, I'm doomed,_ she thought, sagging against the banister.

"That's Karina!" Hannah pointed at her. "She's got yellow fur!"

 _And outed by a toddler_. Karina lifted her hand, waving weakly and shifting to take a step back. It was the wrong move to make. Pain shot down her side and she tightened her grip on the banister to keep from falling, a gasp escaping her.

Before she knew it, there was a strong arm supporting her. She grabbed at it without thinking, biting her lip as the pain blazed hotly through her.

"Are you alright?"

She nodded, gripping his arm tighter and vaguely feeling sorry for doing so. "I'll be fine. I just...broke my fall with the steps catching Hannah."

"Hannah-." Johnny started to scold the little piglet who was already dashing away, giggling obliviously as she went. "I'm sorry 'bout her. You sure you're okay?"

"Bruised, but fine," she assured him. Already the pain was starting to subside, turning from a hot ache to a dull throb. "I'll bounce back. Hopefully not on another set of stairs."

He chuckled and her stomach did an unexpected flip in reaction. "You're Karina then?"

"Yeah. And you're...Johnny, was it?"

"Right. I-."

"Karina, dear!" A voice called out, interrupting them.

Karina turned, watching as Nana breezed her way backstage, Buster not far behind her.

"Come with me, please," Nana instructed.

Noticing a command from Nana when she heard one, Karina offered Johnny an apologetic smile, knowing that her hood would make it a wasted effort but trying anyway. "I'm sorry. I have to go."

He dropped his arm and she moved away from him, down the stairs to join Nana and Buster. "Are we leaving?" she asked, falling in step beside Nana with an uncertain glance back at Buster.

"Leaving? Why no, dear girl. Introductions first."

"Introductions?"

"Yes, dear. Introductions. Brace yourself."

 _And here we go again,_ Karina thought, hunching her shoulders and following Nana out onto the stage.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Thank you everyone for the kind reviews and favorites/watches. :) I'm glad you're enjoying this. I'm taking a total mom day on Monday to see the movie AGAIN! Yeah, sans kids. Go me! They have school/daycare, my work is closed...I figured I deserve a little treat just for me. :)

 **Chapter Three**

Johnny stood where Karina had left him on the steps, watching her disappear on stage with Mrs. Noodleman and Mr. Moon. Her scent lingered around him, so completely different from anything he had come across before, leaving him questioning what, exactly, she was. Legs too long, arms too thin, too many curves to be anything he could recognize. And under the strange combination of coconut and pear was something entirely foreign to him.

Yellow fur. Hannah has said she had-.

"Hannah," he yelped, forgetting about Karina and taking the steps two at a time.

"Great babysitter you make, Johnny," he muttered to himself as he made his way down the hallway past the practice rooms where he'd seen her disappear. "One kid and ya can't even keep track of 'er for more than a minute. Hannah!"

He heard a small giggle down the hall a ways and sighed. Out of all of her brothers and sister, Hannah was by far the biggest handful. A handful he would never admit out loud was his favorite. She was the youngest, the smallest and had the biggest mouth, unafraid to say anything that came to her mind. And absolutely brilliant at disappearing.

Heaving a large sigh, he leaned against the wall and cast an overly despondent gaze to the ceiling. "I'm dead. Rosita's gonna kill me. And all because I lost her precious Hannah. Oh well, I've had a good run. Sang on stage once. Guess once'll have to do it-."

"Johnny, no!" Hannah jumped out from around the corner, rushing to him with a worried frown. "You have to sing again! You have to! Mom can't kill you!"

Laughing, he scooped her up."Gotcha. Your mum loves me. You know she'd never do that."

"That's cheating!" Hannah declared with a scowl.

"How's that cheating? You took off on me when I wasn't even lookin'. If anything, you cheated!"

"Nu-uh!"

"That's a terrible approach to winning an argument."

He started back down the hallway towards the stairs, following the sound of Mr. Moon's voice and wondering if what he was saying had anything to do with the mysterious Karina.

"Johnny, are we gonna play some more."

He shushed the small piglet, whispering "In a bit, Hannah," distractedly as he neared the stage. Rosita, Gunter, Meena and Ash were all gathered on stage, Ash plucking away at her guitar and casting uninterested glances Mr. Moon's way every now and then as the other three listened intently. Johnny moved closer until Mr. Moon, Mrs. Noodleman and Karina were in view. Karina was standing beside Mrs. Noodleman, her head down, her hands clasped in front of her.

 _She's got hands. So that rules out a bit-._

"I think we can all agree that we're about as family as a small group of people can get," Mr. Moon was saying. "And I think we can also all agree that how we're different doesn't mean a thing. It's our differences that make us who we are. So, in saying that...I want you to understand that what Nana is asking us to do is to look past the differences. Protect those differences, but look past them because what we are doesn't make who we are."

With that, he stepped back, gesturing to Karina. She took a hesitant step forward, and pushed her hood away from her face.

A collective gasp rang out through the group.

"See?" Hannah whispered, tugging impatiently at his jacket. "Yellow fur!"

Johnny nodded, his gaze fixed on Karina who was watching the group nervously, her deep blue eyes darting from one member to another. Her mane of blonde hair was pulled away from a face that was mostly pale, aside from the pink flush staining her cheeks. And she had lips - a thin top lip and full bottom lip that she was in the process of chewing nervously on. Differences was an understatement. Karina didn't have differences, she _was_ different. He'd never, in his life, seen something quite like her.

It was very clear that the others hadn't either. And not just to him. He watched as the anxiety manifested into fear and hurt, Karina's eyes glassing over with tears.

"Karina is going to be joining us, working afternoons here in the theater. She's been staying with Nana who's been keeping her hidden and we need to do the same," Mike continued, moving to Karina and taking her hand. "I can't imagine how terrifying it would be to wake up not knowing where you were, what you were or how you got there."

"I um-," Karina murmured. Her voice wavered and Johnny's heart clenched. She was visibly shutting down, looking to the others and finding no acceptance. He knew all too well what that felt like.

Kneeling, Johnny set Hannah on the floor. "Hannah, go get Karina," he instructed softly.

The little piglet smiled, spun and ran onto the stage. Johnny gave her a moment, then followed her.

"Karina!" Hannah cried, launching herself at the woman.

Karina quickly bent to catch Hannah, lifting her slight weight.

"See Hannah?" Johnny said, stopping beside them and grinning down at the two. "Told ya we'd find her. That means you're it, Karina!" Looking around at the small group, he faked a look of surprise. "Oh..uh...were you in the middle of something?"

Mr. Moon was the first to get over his confusion. "How do you know Karina?" he asked.

"We met earlier."

"I fell down the steps and she caught me!" Hannah piped up, bouncing cheerfully in Karina's arms.

"You what?!"

Johnny flinched at the shrill note in Rosita's voice, his mind grappling for something to say that would keep her from killing him outright. He'd been joking before but he wouldn't put it past Rosita to inflict some serious damage when it came to the safety of her children. "Rosita, I-."

"They were playing hide and seek," Karina quickly interrupted him. "He had just started counting and she was running off to hide but missed the step. She had just started to fall when I caught her. And she was so polite, asking me if I was okay," she smiled at the piglet, tweaking her nose lightly. "Nothing more than a quick heart attack, right Hannah?"

Hannah giggled, swatting at Karina's hand. "Right!"

With an apologetic smile, Rosita approached Karina. "I am so sorry," she started as Karina handed her daughter over. "She can be such a handful sometimes."

Karina shrugged it off. "It's okay. Really. I'm just glad I was there."

"That makes two of us. I'm Rosita. It's very nice to meet you, Karina."

Johnny took a step back and breathed a sigh of relief, watching the others move forward to introduce themselves. With each member, Karina relaxed a little more, her smile coming more easily. With Gunter, who was his usual, outgoing self, she actually laughed.

Johnny found it hard not to smile, enjoying the low, smooth quality of the sound. It was unexpected and mysterious...just like Karina herself.

"So, Karina, what are you going to be doing around the theater?" Rosita asked. "Are you going to be singing with us?"

Karina quickly shook her head. "Oh, no. I'm not a singer. Not even a little bit. I was just-." She cast a quick, guilty look at Nana before continuing. "I was looking for a way to get out of the house, honestly. I didn't think it would be possible so I haven't really thought much past that."

"Well, what are you good at?" Mr. Moon prompted.

Again, color rose to her cheeks and Johnny felt pity for her. He would be painfully uncomfortable if every time he was embarrassed about something, his face gave him away that quickly. And with a father in prison and lack of self-confidence, it happened more often than he cared for.

"Well, I guess I'm good at organizing things?" she offered, not sounding that sure of what she'd come up with. "I've worked a couple office administrative positions, but that's about it."

Mr. Moon clapped his hands together. "Perfect! You can help Mrs. Crawley! I'm sure she'd appreciate the company and I have to admit, I'm not the best at keeping a neat office."

"A gross understatement," Mrs. Noodleman deadpanned.

Karina quickly lifted her hand to cover her grin, but Johnny caught it. Her connection with the older woman only made her even more of a mystery to him. He didn't know much about Mrs. Noodleman but what he did know didn't paint the most welcoming picture. Her own grandson and Mr. Moon's close friend Eddie made her sound more dangerous than anything, doing his best to stay out of her way when she showed up. The only one who seemed unafraid of her was Mr. Moon. And Johnny would be the first to admit that he found her intimidating. But Karina didn't seem intimidated by her at all.

"If Karina finds this acceptable and is at ease with the idea of cleaning up after you _and_ if the rest of you understand how important it is to keep your mouths _closed_ ," she paused, regarding them all with a shrewd look until they either nodded or voiced their agreement, "then I suppose I am fine with her spending her afternoons here."

"It's settled then!" Mr. Moon said. "Would starting tomorrow work?"

"Tomorrow would be fine, Mr. Moon," Mrs. Noodleman answered for Karina. "Now, if you have some time, we should finish going over the finances. Karina, you're welcome to stay down here. I'm sure it would be much less tedious."

Mr. Moon graciously swept his arm in a gesture for Mrs. Noodleman to lead the way and the two started off stage as controlled chaos took over and it was business as usual once more. Rosita, waving impatiently at Gunter, crossed the stage to Johnny with a ready smile. "Hey Johnny. I can take Hannah back if you needed to get some practice in before going back to the garage."

"Practice, right. Um-." Johnny glanced back at Karina, smiling when he saw her still holding Hannah, the two talking in hushed, animated voices. "Good luck getting her away from Karina."

Rosita looked back over her shoulder. "What do you think she is?" she asked quietly, the questions sounding far more curious than scared.

"I wish I knew. I mean...she doesn't seem like someone we'd have to worry about."  
As if to prove his point, Karina pulled the tie from her hair, letting the mass topple down so that Hannah could reach up and play with it. The little piglet was fearless, pushing herself up and tugging gently at the loose curls.

 _Probably asking a million questions while she's at it,_ Johnny thought, knowing Hannah's endless curiosity and lack of a filter or respect for personal boundaries.

"So...we trust her?"

Johnny shrugged. "If she's trustin' us to not tell anyone what's going on here-."

"I didn't even think of that." Rosita shook her head, frowning. "I'm sorry. I sound so horrible but I just...she's so…."

"Different," Johnny finished, adding kindly, "Just like every one of us is different, Rosita."

She had the grace to look ashamed, ducking her head and sighing. "You're right. If she's going to trust us, we should do the same for her. Besides, it sounds like she was in the right place at the right time for Hannah. So, did you need to get some more practice in?"

Johnny checked his watch. Already half past four. He'd have to _officially_ close up soon, try to scrounge something together for supper and get to bed at a decent time. His dad's lawyer wanted to meet with him in the morning. "Nah. You guys go ahead. I should get back before it gets too late. Tell everyone bye for me?"

Rosita nodded. "Sure Johnny. Drive careful."

He rolled his eyes, nudging her gently. "Yes, mum."

"Oh hush."

He dodged her playful swat with a laugh and started for the door, his mind already on eating and trying to talk him into stopping at a fast food place quick instead of hoping there was something still edible in the fridge. He was almost out the door when a voice stopped him.

"Hey Johnny, wait-."

He turned, his heart tripping a little at the sight of Karina. It was barely noticeable, easy to brush off as an internal reaction to what she was. She stopped in front of him, smiling a bit nervously. "Sorry, Rosita said you had to get back to work but I just wanted to say...thank you."

"For what?" he asked, feigning innocence.

"I know I'm...not exactly the norm here. This could have ended really badly but you stepped in and...well...kind of saved me." Her cheeks turned red again and she quickly looked at the ground, wringing her hands in front of her. "I was really afraid that no one would accept me. So thank you...for getting them to at least start."

He reached forward, taking her hands to get her to stop twisting them together and caught her gaze. The trip of his heart was a bit more obvious this time, still easy to brush off but a little less difficult to convince himself that it was nothing more than an innocent reaction seeing the unnatural deep blue of her eyes. "It was nothing, really."

"Maybe not to you," she said.

There was something so raw and haunting about the way she said it, something that hinted at much more than just a fear of rejection because she was different. It provoked a deep, overwhelming need to protect her. "Karina," he murmured, squeezing her hands gently. "You know you're safe here, right?"

"I know that. I'm just...afraid to believe it." With a watery laugh, she pushed her shoulder back and gave him a shy smile. "I'm sorry. It's been such a strange month."

"I bet." He reluctantly let go of her hands and they both stepped away from each other. "Well, see you tomorrow?"

She nodded. "Yes, tomorrow. Have a good night, Johnny."

"You too."

She took another step backwards, spun on her heel and headed to the stage, glancing over her shoulder and offering a tiny wave before disappearing around the thick curtains.

 _Cute,_ he thought, catching himself entirely off guard.

Cute? He didn't even know what she was. How could he think that she was cute?

 _Because you're running behind and you're starving,_ he told himself, grasping for excuses. He didn't believe a one of them but they'd have to do for now until he was back home and had a little more time to mull through his thoughts.

With a little nod, he turned and pushed through the doors to the back alley where his truck sat. Getting behind the wheel, he started it, turned the radio up, not caring what station it was on, and started for home.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I HATE DIALOGUE! Lol, but I managed...I hope. Thank you all again for the amazing support - the reviews, the favorites, the likes...all of it. I appreciate it more than I can say. :) Hope you all enjoy the next chapter! If you see anything that really stands out, please let me know. Editing while exhausted is something I do way more than I should but I get antsy to post when I know people are waiting. :)**

 **Chapter Four**

Karina was dressed and out the door the next day long before she was due to arrive at the theater. She did so with a little less excitement than what she'd felt the previous day, but out was out. It was a little slip of freedom she was desperate to have.

She realized how backwards that thought was as she pulled her hood up to hide her face and started down the sidewalk. Hidden freedom. That's what she had.

That...and an unlikely hero.

Heat rose to her cheeks and she quickened her pace, anxious to see that hero again.

 _He's a gorilla, Karina,_ she told herself. _A gorilla._ Her traitorous mind was having none of that, though. It quickly threw out other things about her kind-hearted savior that were extremely hard to ignore.

 _Who came to your rescue, can wear the hell out of a leather jacket and jeans, has a British accent and the kindest eyes possible._

All valid points that she couldn't seem to find decent arguments for.

Instead of arguing with herself, she pulled the phone Nana had gotten her from her sweatshirt pocket, plugged in her ear buds and scrolled to her playlist. That was one strange thing about this reality she found herself in - tfhere were so many things exactly the same that it was a little unsettling at times. Music, phones, car brands, clothing brands, authors of books-. She swore she'd seen an advertisement for a Starbucks at one point but refused to give her hopes up on that one, regardless of how badly she found herself craving a vanilla latte with a chocolate croissant at times.

Music quickly filled her ears and she closed her eyes, letting it drown out her hectic thoughts. Her body picked up on the beat, the smooth undercurrent of bass and started moving out of habit, her feet executing a small chasse followed by a soutenu pique. Dance moves she'd thought long forgotten filled her head and she moved through each with ease, her dance instructors drill sergeant-like voice distantly ringing in her head.

 _Do not lock your elbows,mind your turnout, shoulders back._

Karina had always been good at disregarding the shouts of the instructor when lost in the music, refusing to allow the shrill tone to ruin something she enjoyed. Dance was her outlet to the darkness that paced continuously in the shadows, waiting for guards to be dropped so that it could seep in and destroy any light. Everything else was just white noise. When she was dancing, nothing could touch her.

 _Might want to tone it down just a bit,_ she thought. _You're supposed to be keeping a low profile, not attracting attention._

She scrolled through her playlist, looking for something a little less upbeat to carry her to the Moon Theater when the sound of a horn blaring interrupted her. She peered around her hood as best she could, not expecting to see anyone she recognized and smiling when instead she saw Johnny behind the wheel of an old black Chevy truck. Pulling her earbuds free and taking a cautious look to make sure there wasn't anyone nearby, she shoved her hood back a bit. "Nice truck."

"Thanks," he said back with a small grin. "It's my dad's. Were you walking to the theater?"

Karina shoved her hands in her pockets and rocked back on her heels. "That was the plan."

His smile widened. "You know it's a good ten miles, right?"

"Um, no," Karina muttered. "I didn't know that. I guess I should have paid more attention when we were going there yesterday."

"I could give you a ride, if you want."

 _Sure, if you could promise to talk the entire way,_ she thought, enjoying the sound of his voice much more than she probably should have. "Really? You wouldn't mind?"

"Well, since it's on the way and all-."

His light joking put her at ease and when he told her to get in, she didn't argue, going around the front and hopping in beside him. As he pulled back onto the road, not bothering with a blinker or even checking behind them, she noticed the to-go cup in the cup holder and gasped. "You guys _do_ have a Starbucks here!"

Johnny shot her a strange look. "Uh, yeah. I don't...I don't stop there much but I didn't get a lot of sleep last night so-."

"I don't judge people for their choice in caffeinated beverage," she quickly assured him. "Unless you ordered extra whip and sprinkles. Then I might judge...but just a little."

Johnny laughed and she barely managed to suppress a pleased sigh. If his voice wasn't going to slowly undo her, then his laugh most certainly would. "No, nothin' like that. Just regular coffee. You can have what's left."

"Oh, no I couldn't do that."

"Go for it. It's just gonna get cold anyway. I already drank half and I'm not big on coffee. Just needed somethin' to wake me up, is all."

"You sure?" she asked.

"Yeah."

She hesitated a moment longer, then lept at the opportunity, taking a sip and savoring the bitter taste with a moan of true appreciation that had Johnny laughing again.

"Sorry," she said, feeling heat rise to her cheeks. "I haven't had a good cup of coffee in forever. Nana does the whole french press coffee thing. I love her...and I choke it down, but it's way too strong for me."

He nodded in understanding and a silence that wasn't entirely uncomfortable fell between them.

"So, you have Starbucks where you're from?" Johnny asked after a while.

He could have asked the question he had meant to ask, the one he'd obviously attempted to mask with his casual tone. But she appreciated his attempt at normal conversation without trying to make things awkward between them.

"Yeah. Starbucks, Barnes and Noble, Target...the only big difference between where I'm from and here...is that everyone here isn't...human."

She caught his curious look out of the corner of her eye and took another long sip of coffee before speaking again. "Human...that's what I am."

"Is everyone where you're from...like you?"

"Not _just_ like me. Every person is different. There's different races...people with different colored skin, different color hair, different accents."

"How did you end up here?"

There was the million dollar question she wasn't sure she would ever be able to answer. "I don't...know. I _wish_ I knew. One day I was there...the next I'm in a hospital room here."

"Hospital room?"

She stared down at the coffee lid. It would be nice if she had some fanciful, magic filled story how how she came to exist in this world. Not something that resembled the beginning of a horror movie. "I um-," she took a deep breath and closed her eyes, what she remembered from that day replaying in her head "I was found...in a..box washed up on shore. I'm not sure how long I was in there. I just...remember trying to help them get me out and not having the strength to do it. Nana said I was in the hospital for a week and a half before I woke up. I can remember people talking, shouting for help. But nothing much more than that until I woke up and there was Nana."

"Jeez, that's...I'm sorry, Karina."

She shrugged off his apology, wrapping her hands around the to-go cup and taking as much comfort as she could from what little warmth it offered. "It's not your fault. And maybe I'll figure out all the how's some day. I'm just...happy to be alive, honestly. And to have castoff coffee."

His smile, though slightly sad around the edges, was back and her heart was melting over it as if they hadn't had such a serious conversation only seconds earlier. "Could get ya your own tomorrow, if you want?"

"Johnny, you don't-."

"Have to let you walk to the theater everyday? I know."

She bit her lip, trying to suppress the giddy smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. Even if it was confusing and strange, she couldn't deny that he was incredibly charming and effortlessly kind, both qualities that she found impossible to resist.

He pulled into the alley next to the theater a moment later and she got out of the truck, following him in.

"If you need a ride home, I'm good for that too," he said, pulling the door open and holding it for her.

"That'd be great. I-,"

She was cut off before she could finish, Ash appearing out of nowhere, taking her hand and pulling her towards the hallway. "You're coming with me," the feisty porcupine said.

"Oh, um...okay?"

"Ash, what's goin' on?" Johnny asked, starting after them.

"Go back to the stage. Mr. Moon's out there with Mike. He might need some help."

It was all she needed to say for Johnny to listen. The look of confusion was immediately replaced by one of intensity that left Karina feeling on edge and he jogged back towards the stage.

"Who's Mike?" Karina asked, surprised to find she was having a difficult time keeping up.

"No one you want to know," Ash shot back.

They went up the stairs and to one of the practice rooms tucked in the back, not speaking again until Ash had closed the door behind them and pulled down the drapes of the few windows overlooking the hallway.

"So," Karina started, watching Ash as she moved across the room to where a black sweatshirt hung over a chair and pulled a phone from one of the pockets. "What was that all about?"

Ash threw a bored look at the closed door, then turned her attention to her phone. "We're supposed to be keeping things about you under wraps, right? Mike would be the last person to make sure that happens."

Spotting a couch along the wall, Karina went to it and sat down, pulling her legs up. "Does Mike work here?"

"No. He was kind of part of our group, I guess...back before we found out about the prize money."

"Prize money?"

Ash waved a hand dismissively, the other scrolling through the contents of her phone. "Long story. Bottom line, he's a money hungry, arrogant jerk who only looks out for himself and is only marginally better than my ex. And _you_ would be nothing more than a meal ticket to him."

"Oh-."

Left with little else to say, Karina started tracing the paisley pattern on the couch. If one of them was going to break the silence, it was going to be Ash. Karina felt as if she had somehow intruded on the porcupines territory and the smartest thing she could do right now was keep quiet and wait. Ash was so preoccupied with her phone that Karina didn't see much conversation taking place until Ash made a sound of sheer frustration and turned it off completely. "Are the guys where you're from complete idiots?"

The question startled a laugh out of Karina. Out of everything she was expecting Ash to say, that wasn't it. "Not all of them...but yeah, there were definitely quite a few that could have easily ended the world if put in charge."

That earned her a look of semi-appreciation. Ash crossed the room to the couch and sat down beside her with a huge sigh, throwing her phone between them. "My ex could probably show them first hand how to do it in seconds," she muttered.

She didn't say anything for a while and Karina kept quiet, guessing Ash was a talk-when-she-wanted-to person and understanding that as an outsider, she had no right to be questioning another person's life. She was playing by their rules and maintaining their trust was crucial. So she waited.

"Where are you from, anyway?"

The rules here were not made to keep her from rehashing what she what little she was supposed to know about her situation, apparently.

"Here...kind of," Karina replied. "Everything's the same. It's like someone came in, turned everybody into animals...but forgot about me." That sounded dark, even to her, and she sighed, shaking her head at her bleak statement. "Sorry, that was a bit morbid. Where I came from wasn't much different from here. There's a lot of the same things. It's just like…"

"An alternate universe?" Ash offered.

"Yeah...exactly like that, actually."

"And you have no idea what happened?"

"No," Karina said softly. It was the one question she could answer with complete honesty.

"That's crazy."

Karina couldn't agree more. "Crazy like the kind of crazy that would land me in a psych ward crazy," she muttered.

Ash released a tiny snort of laughter and relaxed, leaning back against the couch. "Maybe. None of us will put you there though." She glanced up at Karina. "I'm sorry...that you have to deal with all of this."

"I'm sorry that you have to deal with an idiot ex-boyfriend."

Ash shrugged, then reached for her phone and turned it back on. "It's okay. I just...wish he'd get it through his dumb skull that I want nothing to do with him."

"Have you tried pounding it in with something substantial? I hear that works."

A true laugh escaped Ash this time and Karina couldn't help grinning. "No, but that doesn't sound like a half bad idea."

The door to the practice room opened and the elephant from yesterday, Meena if Karina remembered right, stuck her head in.

"He's gone," she said, looking uncertainly between the two. "Mr. Moon said you should find Mrs. Crawley and he'll check on you later."

Karina stood, looking back to Ash when she didn't. "You staying here?"

"Yeah. It's quieter here than on stage - easier to concentrate."

"Okay. Well...see you later?"

Ash smiled and gave a small nod, both of which seemed genuine. "Sure. Good luck with Mrs. Crawley."

Karina left feeling much lighter than she had in days, savoring the rush of gratitude for what she hoped was the beginning of an established friendship. Even in her past, friendships had been hard to come by. Those who struggled with situations most breezed through were seen as easy targets and she was about as easy a target as they came, opening herself up to consistently being made a doormat for people to trample over, rubbing their muddy problems all over her without caring how deeply it stung or how personally she took it.

 _Fresh start here,_ she thought, refusing to let go of the warmth talking with Ash had given her. _Things can be different. I can be different._

Finding the main offices took some time and she ended up getting lost more than once, inadvertently giving herself a tour while she was at it. The upstairs portion of the theater was a maze of practice rooms towards the back, mostly hallway in the middle with smaller hallways leading to private alcoves that overlooked the stage. Towards the front, offices were arranged on either side of a sprawling lobby with plush, red furniture and glass top tables.

The place was impressive and had a historical charm to it that she adored.

She finally found Mrs. Crawley, humming to herself as she worked on what looked to be a coffee pot. Karina knocked on the open doorway first so as not to startle the woman. "Mrs. Crawley?"

She turned slowly, her movements slightly jerky and erratic. "Ah, Karina! Mr. Moon said you were going to be helping me out. That's sweet of you."

Karina entered the office with a smile. "Anything you need me to do, Mrs. Crawley. Where would you like me to start?"

"How about we start with the coffee machine? Mr. Moon goes through at least three pots a day."

She started showing Karina how to go about filling the coffee machine and just from watching the woman put grounds in without a filter, Karina could tell it was going to be a long afternoon.

They started with coffee, moved on to light cleaning which took no time at all and finally Mrs. Crawley asked her to sort through Mr. Moon's contacts and itemize his receipts. As she settled down to do that, Mrs. Crawley disappeared as did much of Karina's afternoon.

Mr. Moon was not a neat freak by any stretch of the word. There were numerous folders with "receipts" written across them in bold permanent marker, contacts written on post its all over the office, invoices from various vendors scattered across his desk and not even the slightest hint of a system to keep it all straight.

By the time Karina had sorted through all of the receipts and invoices, the sun had dipped below the horizon. She'd turned on the lamp on the desk and continued working, lost in what she was doing and the time that was passing. She vaguely registered Mrs. Crawley coming in and telling her goodnight at some point.

She had no idea how late it had gotten when the soft notes of a piano playing drifted through her subconscious. She glanced up, looking for a clock and gasped when she saw the one above the door read a quarter after seven.

"Oh my god," she muttered, pushing herself up and straightening up what she'd managed to go through so that she could start again tomorrow.

She turned the light off and walked out of the office, closing the door behind her. The piano continued to play, not far from where she was, and curiosity guided her towards the sound. The lights in Mrs. Crawley's office were off as were a majority of the second story lights. The only one that remained on came from the office across the lobby, the light spilling softly over the gold and burgundy carpet.

Karina walked to the door, easing it open. Johnny sat at the piano, his fingers moving effortlessly over the keys. The song wasn't one she knew at all, but she didn't need to to feel the sadness coursing through each key. It was a despondent melody, soft, unrushed and absolutely beautiful.

She stood listening for a while, then walked over to where he was and sat down beside him, giving him a hesitant smile. He glanced at her briefly, but continued to play and she watched, mesmerized by how a pair of hands so big and strong could create very much the opposite.

Something on the music rack caught her attention. At first, she thought it was a cell phone but no cell phone she knew of was that thick. And it had been a very long time since she'd seen one held together with tape. It almost looked like a very old and very well used radio.

The final note of the piano drifted off and Johnny's hands fell away from the piano and into his lap.

"Yours?" she asked, nodding to what she thought was a radio.

He picked it up and she quickly realized that it wasn't a radio - it was a walkie talkie. "Yeah. S'mine."

"I haven't seen one of those in years. Does it actually work?"

He nodded, his gaze suddenly sad. "Been awhile since I used it. My dad…we used to talk to each other with 'em."

She was tempted to lean against him, to be closer to him and ease that sadness somehow. "You don't anymore?"

"Nah." He shook his head, then shoved the walkie in his pocket and looked down at her, forcing a grin. "You hungry?"

"Starving. Did you even know it's past seven?"

"Really? Guess I didn't," Johnny stood and offered his hand to help her up. "Want to get something to eat?"

"Where? I can't really go into many places. Nana's only pulled off one so far and we had to sit way in the back where there was no lights. I kind of like to see my food when I'm eating it."

He looked thoughtful for a moment, then smiled again and his hand tightened around hers. "Who said we have to go in anywhere?"


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Okay...so...I'm not a big fan of being patient when I want my characters to make out...which makes writing a bit difficult at times. :) Forcing a slow build when your head is screaming 'kiss her!' gets difficult. Thank you to everyone who reviewed. You guys are seriously amazing. The thought and time you put into your reviews is something I appreciate more than I can put in words. I just hope you keep enjoying what I put out for ya to read. Onto chapter five!

 **Chapter Five**

It wasn't something Johnny planned on doing - asking the new girl to go grab a bite to eat. He'd been looking for a quick way out of an uncomfortable conversation. The idea presented itself and was out before he could think twice about it.

The only thing that stunned him more than the fact that he had asked was the fact that Karina had accepted. She'd made a quick call to Mrs. Noodleman to let her know she'd be home late and together, they'd made their way out of the darkened theater.

"What d'ya feel like eating?" he asked, catching her hand when she reached out blindly in the darkness and almost lost her footing on the stairs.

"I don't even know where to begin with that," she said with a small laugh. "I'm good with anything as long as there are carbs involved."

It wasn't until they were in the alley that he relinquished his hold somewhat regretfully, telling himself he'd only helped her out because he had manners and that's what good guys with manners did - they held a girl's hand to keep her from tripping and didn't let go until they had to if said girl made no move to do the same thing. So what if it made him feel a little warmer than usual.

With the heater and radio on low, he backed out of the alley and onto the main road, heading towards the part of town where most of the fast food joints were located. After talking himself out of the idea last night, he was definitely craving cheap junk food.

Karina sat quietly beside him, hands in her lap, her gaze out the window taking in the surroundings. Even in her silence, she intrigued him. There was just something about her - something that kept drawing him to her. Sure, she was different, but there was more to it than that. Or, at least, that's what his nagging thoughts kept trying to push past the innocent excuses he kept feeding himself when it came to how she made him feel.

When she'd sat beside him at the piano, his heart had slammed against his ribcage and he kept thinking about how much smaller than him she was, how soft the skin on her hands looked, what it would feel like if she just...laid her head on his shoulder and sat listening to him.

He tightened his grip on the steering wheel, making a pitiful attempt to curb his thoughts but that quiet voice that kept trying to be heard over the excuses was become far more persistent and hard to ignore.

Derailed thoughts were not something he was used to. Especially not on this level. Despite his somewhat criminal background, he was pretty simplistic. Large crowds made him anxious, he was never truly sure of much of anything that he was doing and he enjoyed the peace when nothing was happening.

Maybe it was part of growing up with a criminal for a father. His dad was always busy plotting the next heist, always lining up every minute to the moment that it would take place, catching Johnny up in the action regardless of how much he resisted or how many excuses he would come up with. It had always made life feel chaotic - something Johnny didn't like in the slightest but was helpless to stop.  
Rarely was it ever a "do nothing" kind of day when his dad was around. Johnny took the moments here and there, coveting what little time he had to just sit still and do nothing but sing to no one or dream about what a life not shrouded in crime would be like.

With his father in prison, life had slowed down and the chaos had ebbed.

Then Karina showed up.

She brought with her a new kind of inconsistent chaos full of questions and curiosity and it was right back to that derailed train of thought again. Though this time, it was much more welcome and entirely new.

He glanced at Karina, smiling at the enthralled look on her face.

"Don't get out much, do you?"

She shook her head. "Not nearly as much as I'd like to. And when I go out with Nana, we don't do a whole lot. I've never been to this part of the city. I didn't even know it was this big."

Johnny pulled into the drive through of one of his favorite fast food joints and up to the speaker, shifting the truck into first gear.

"Thanks for choosing the Side Stop, what can I get you?" came a crackling, bored voice.

"Yeah, I'll take a number five with large fries and a banana milkshake," Johnny said automatically, knowing exactly what he wanted.

"Is that all?"

"No, hang on." He glanced expectantly at Karina. "Take a look."

"Did you seriously just say fries?" she muttered, leaning over and staring wide-eyed at the menu. "Fried food! My night has been officially made! Um...okay, okay...everything fried."

Johnny choked on a laugh. "I don't think that's an option."

"Well, it should be. Um, I'll have a...number two...large fries...a chocolate milkshake...aaaaand that's it."

"Total at the window."

Karina sat back and Johnny pulled forward, feeling highly amused. They picked up their food and Johnny set it between them. "I'm takin' it fries were a thing where you're from?" he asked as they headed out of town.

"A staple food," she said, reaching into one of the bags, grabbing a fry and popping it in her mouth. She rolled her eyes in bliss as she chewed and something about it struck him as sad. How long had she been stuck in a box to miss things the way she did? First coffee...now fries.

What the hell happened to you?

"Where are we going?"

Her question snapped him out of his thoughts. "Oh, uh - out of the city a bit. Not too far. That okay?"

He caught the shy smile out of the corner of his eye and felt that pleasant twist in his stomach. "Sure. I trust you."

The need to protect doubled with her quiet statement, so much so that he almost reached out to take her hand again but managed to stop himself. She wasn't falling down stairs or needing any kind of saving at the moment. Holding her hand after knowing her for a day probably wouldn't go over too well.

He drove out of the city about a mile and a half before turning up a scenic byway. "I used to come up here a lot before I got busy with the theater an' all," he explained as he followed the winding road uphill through thick trees that blocked out the moon.

"When you used to hide bodies of unsuspecting women?" she teased.

He shot her a quick grin before turning onto an overgrown path. "Naturally."

He pulled into a small clearing on the hillside and parked the truck facing the treeline before killing the engine. They got out, food in hand, and Johnny circled around back, putting down the tailgate and easily climbing into the truck bed. After putting down the food, he turned and offered his hand, helping Karina up.

"I can see the appeal," she murmured, looking out at the twinkling city.

From where they were, it was nothing more than a blanket of lights sprawling over the landscape, spread out for several miles before gradually tapering off into dark countryside. The noise of the traffic was minimal, giving it an odd sort of peace that he always took comfort in.

Karina looked up at him, her gaze thoughtful. "I'm guessing you didn't just come out here for the fun of it."

Johnny sat down towards the cab, resting his back against it and she joined him. The truck bed didn't offer much room so her arm and hip were pressed against his, though she didn't seem to mind. She unloaded the bags of food, handing him his before settling in on her fries with a ravenous look.

He hesitated for a moment, not entirely sure what all to tell her. No one at the theater really knew what had happened to his dad. They knew there was a little drama mixed up in his home life, but no one questioned him on it and he didn't feel a need to say much of anything. "I came out here to get away from my dad, mostly. I love him but there were a lot of things we didn't exactly...agree on."

"Every time you talk about him, you seem kind of sad," she remarked quietly.

Johnny ducked his head. He could feel the shame creeping up his neck, the same shame that always plagued him when he thought about the role he'd played in his family's numerous robberies and the deeper shame that came when he thought about the day he'd failed to be there when they needed him. "I guess."

Karina nudged him. "Want to make a deal?"

"What kinda deal?" he asked, regarding her skeptically.

"Really? You're going to give me that look after I just met you yesterday and willingly let you drive me out to the middle of nowhere, no questions asked?"

She tossed a fry at him and he laughed. "Right, okay...what's your deal?"

"I think we can both agree," she started, crossing her legs at the heel and leaning against him slightly, "that we've both seen our fair share of crap throughout our lives and there's no reason we have to actually talk about it. Let's just keep it light, okay? No dark pasts."

She held up her milkshake and he did the same, tapping it to hers. "No dark pasts. Deal."

"Good. So, what do you do at the theater?"

"I'm a...singer," he started. "Not really how it started. See, there was this contest Mr. Moon put on and the prize was this hundred thousand dollars that didn't were all pretty upset when we found out the prize money wasn't real but...Mr. Moon loved that theater. He was doin' what he could ta save it. Probably woulda done the same thing."

He thought back to the night he nearly had, sneaking into the theater at night to take the money and get his dad out of prison. It hadn't been one of his finest moments. It hadn't even come close to being one of his "okay" moments. But he thought of it often in the days following the collapse of the theater and remembering that night made it difficult to be angry with Mr. Moon.

"What happened to the winner of the contest then?" Karina asked.

He watched as she popped the top off of her milkshake and dipped a fry in it.  
"Well, there wasn't….what are you doin?" he asked, slightly horrified.

"If you've never tried this, you don't know what you're missing," she said, taking a bite of the shake covered fry and grinning. "So good."

Johnny made a face. "I'll take your word for it. And there wasn't a winner."

"There wasn't?"

He shook his head, pulled up a knee and propped his arm on it, food forgotten for the time being. "Mr. Moon called us all outta nowhere. Still not sure why he did it. We pulled together what was left of the theater and-."

"What was left of the theater?" She was watching him avidly, her food also seemingly forgotten. "What happened?"

"Oh, ah….that's a long story. Involves a stage made outta glass, a lot of water and squids. Ends with the theater gettin' completely destroyed and most of us nearly drownin' in the process."

A disbelieving laugh escaped her and her wide eyes went even wider. "Are you serious?"

"Dead serious. It was crazy."  
"It sounds crazy." She snagged another fry, this time not bothering to dip it in her shake before taking a bite. "What happened after that?"

"Couple weeks went by. We tried gettin' Mr. Moon outta his slump but he was pretty wrecked after the theater collapsed. Didn't really keep track of each other either. Kept myself busy with the garage and takin' in a few jobs here and there to pay the bills. Then one day Mr. Moon calls and gets us all back together again. No money, no contest...just singin' for anyone who wanted to see it. We spent a good two weeks riggin' up a stage good enough to perform on and then put on a show for the hell of it. None of us expected it to go the way it did. People just kept showin' up." He smiled fondly, remembering the night where he'd poured everything he had into one single performance and how the only thing that had topped that high was his dad showing up after busting out of prison to tell him that he was proud of him. "Always wanted to be a singer...just didn't really believe I could pull it off until I actually did it on that level."

"Are you guys working on a show now?"

Taking a bite of his veggie wrap, Johnny shook his head. "Not really. Mr. Moon's up to somethin'. Not sure what. But now it's just...I dunno...better than sittin' at home alone."

Karina nodded emphatically. "I get that. It's much more comforting to me to be surrounded by sounds and voices than to sit in the quiet all afternoon. Too much time to think."

He almost asked her what she thought about but caught himself. He could imagine that whatever she thought about was definitely off limits with their deal. "You ever perform on a stage?" he asked instead.

"I have, actually. I was in a couple of plays in high school and did dance on the side so a lot of recitals in front of camera-happy parents. Nothing too impressive. I was accepted into a college with an excellent dance program and was in a showcase once but the focus kind of shifted halfway through my sophomore year and I ah...got out of dance. Went a different route."

"What route was that?"

"Public relations," she muttered, not sounding the slightest bit interested in the educational path she'd chosen.

"That's...exciting?"

"No. It really really wasn't. But there's more money in public relations than in the hopes of landing a spot in a dance company so...that's how that went."

She fell quiet and the void between them stretched, making him feel as if she were a million miles away instead of right beside him. They'd traveled unintentionally into her darkness. He'd have to figure a way to pull her out. Something off the wall that would startle a smile out of her.

"I've seen Gunter in gold sequined speedo."

That certainly did it. One minute, she was sipping at her shake, the next she was coughing and laughing. "Oh no! Why?" she managed through her giggles.

"I've asked myself that every day after it happened," he said with mock severity.

"You poor thing!"  
"I know. I've thought about getting therapy for it."

He was managing to maintain a straight face, though her eyes sparkling with mirth and her bright smile made it extremely difficult.

"The second recital I was in, I accidentally kicked over a tree and it landed on my dance partner," she said, pulling her wrap from the to-go bag and peeling back the flimsy paper wrapping.

He could feel the grin coming, knew there was no way he'd be able to keep a straight face for long. "They have it coming?"

"As much as I hate to say it….she really did. And the great part was the name of song we were dancing to at the time was Karma."

He laughed then, the sound blending with hers, banishing the darkness that had briefly threatened. Now, he just had to make sure it stayed away.

He lost all track of time as they continued talking into the night, feeling more and more comfortable in her presence as the minutes ticked away into hours. Navigating their way around the darkness of their pasts was a little tricky at first, but they managed, sticking to mundane and mildly humorous topics like favorite movies, music, first high school dances, strangest phone calls from co-workers, autocorrect fails through text messages and eventually a casual trade-off on cell phone numbers. He couldn't really remember the last time he'd laughed so much, even when they'd gotten in a ridiculous argument about the quality of the movie Evil Dead 2. He'd found the entire debate funny enough not to question the fact that they'd both seen a movie that existed in both of their worlds, wherever hers was.

"You have to look past the humor of it and really understand just how masterfully it was carried out," she said, fighting for the quality of the film over the tacky hilarity. "The directors literally made it one of the best cult classic horror movies ever. I don't think I've ever met someone who hasn't seen that movie."

Johnny rolled his eyes and shook his head. "You realize you're tryin' ta convince me that a headless corpse dancin' through the woods equals a quality movie."

She pursed her lips. "Okay, so maybe not that part of the movie...but you have to admit the film has some staying power."

"I'll give you that," he said, tossing his empty shake cup in the bag at his side.

Karina released a content sigh, resting her head back against the glass and staring up at the stars. "I should probably get back before Nana starts to really worry. What time is it, anyway?"

Johnny shoved the sleeve of his leather jacket back and looked down at his watch. "Uh, would you believe 12:30?"

"What?"

He held his watch up for her to see and she released a startled laugh. "Okay, yeah...I need to get back."

"Same here," Johnny said, standing and helping her up. "Gotta open the shop in the morning and get a started on fixin' a head gasket."

They jumped down and Karina stood beside him, wrapping her arms around herself as he put the tailgate back up. Without asking, he shrugged out of his jacket and dropped it over her shoulders, swallowing hard when she looked up at him with a grateful smile, her blue eyes shining even in the dark.

"Thanks."

He shrugged off her gratitude, rubbing the back of his neck. "You looked cold."

They got in the truck and Karina immediately put her feet up on the seat, tucking her legs up to her chest and resting her head on the seat. This time, when his mind threw the word cute at him, he accepted it. Because she was. Curled up on the seat, wrapped up in his jacket that was far too big for her, her eyes tired and a smile playing at the corners of her mouth...she was cute. She was more than cute. He allowed himself to feel that without questioning it, without coming up with any excuses.

Johnny put the truck in reverse, backed out of the spot they'd parked in and started down the hillside. As they pulled out onto the main road, he reached for the dial of the radio, turning the volume up a little when he recognized the song playing. He shot a quick look at Karina, grinning when he saw her asleep, and started to hum along with the radio, then started singing softly, finding the words to the song in his subconscious with no effort.

"You have an amazing voice," Karina said, her quiet voice startling him a little.

"Thought you were sleeping."

She made a small humming sound and shifted in the seat, snuggling further into his coat. "Just resting. You can keep singing, if you want. It's really relaxing."

He waited through the chorus and picked up on the next verse.

"Another aeroplane, another sunny place, I'm lucky I know but I wanna go home-," he sang, fingers tapping the beat against the steering wheel. The city lights blurred past, the streets quiet and slow in the early morning hours. He knew parts of the city were still alive and thriving, caught up in parties, drug deals, cab rides to hotel rooms. He took less traveled streets to avoid them, driving past his garage and onto the richer part where palm trees loomed over private fences. The song he was singing faded into another and another before he pulled up behind Mrs. Noodleman's estate and set the brake.

"Karina," he called softly, reaching out and nudging her lightly.

She opened her eyes slowly, her brows furrowing slightly as she blinked the sleep away and turned her head to look out the windshield.

"Oh hey...we're home," she said groggily, stretching a bit and pushing herself upright.

"You're home," he corrected with a kind smile. "And tired."

She chuckled and nodded. "Yeah, I am. I guess more than I thought I was. Sleep gets a little rough, sometimes."

Johnny dropped his hand to her shoe and gave it a playful shake. "No dark pasts," he reminded her.

She wrapped her arms around her knees, her hand brushing his and causing a pleasant shock of sensation to travel the length of his spine. "No dark pasts," she murmured.

The sat, staring at one another for a bit, lost in the moment and finally Johnny moved away. "Come on, I'll walk ya up."

They got out and he waited for her, offering his arm for support which she gratefully took, leaning tiredly against him as they went up the walkway and to the backdoor.

"What time you want me to swing by tomorrow?" he asked.

Karina yawned, waving a hand at him dismissively. "You really don't have to-."

"Let you walk to the theater, I know," he repeated his statement from earlier with a grin. "We've been over this already. What time?"

"After lunch work okay?" she asked, giving in with a roll of her eyes.

"Works for me."

They stopped on the landing at the door and she shrugged out of his jacket, handing it back to him. Just as he took it, she caught him completely by surprise, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

"Thank you so much for everything, Johnny," she said in a voice so soft he barely heard it. "As great as Nana's been, this is honestly the happiest I've been since waking up here."

He stumbled clumsily over the moment, lifting his arm and dropping it once before wrapping it carefully around her waist and hugging her back. "Glad I could help."

Karina stepped back, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear and smiling up at him. "See you tomorrow."

He swore he caught the faintest darkening of her cheeks but she turned away and was inside before he knew for sure that's what he was seeing. He stood where he was for a while, his jacket dangling from his loose grip, the feel of her arms around him lingering.

Happiest she's ever been, he thought as he slid his jacket back on. He was immediately surrounded by her unique scent and with a smile, he hopped off the landing and walked to his truck, whistling the tune he'd been singing earlier and anticipating tomorrow.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Sorry everyone! This took a lot longer than I wanted it to. But hey! It's a lot longer than my usual chapters. :) I hope it was worth the wait. Thank you all so much for the reviews and favorites. You guys are the best! I'd like to say a huge HUGE thank you to Sparkles of Youthfulness for agreeing to be my beta and helping me out through this. You're amazing dear!

 _ **IMPORTANT NOTE:**_ I went back and added a whole mess of dialogue to the previous chapter. I wasn't happy with the fact that I totally copped out on that. Hope you enjoy the changes.

 **Chapter Six**

Karina woke up with a gasp, the lingering fear from her nightmare coming back in waves when her eyes met nothing but darkness. She groped along the bedside table, reaching for the lamp and switched it on, breathing a sigh of relieve when the low light spilled over her rumpled bedspread.

 _Robert must have come in and turn off my lamp sometime during the night,_ she thought, finding it impossible to curse the penguin butler. He was always kind to her. He might have been a bit standoffish at first, but he'd gotten used to her just as she'd gotten used to him after the first two weeks.

And Robert, to his credit, did not understand her need to sleep with the light on or that she had nightmares constantly.

They'd come on and off since waking up in the hospital and being slapped in the face with being alive. And not just alive...but in physical form. The adjustment had been difficult. She'd used her mornings with Nana as a distraction from much of it, not caring to dwell on the why's and focusing on the now instead.

The why's were catching up with her though. She was struggling, being such an emotion-fraught being, at keeping them away. She knew how to get caught up in emotions, knew how to seek and thrive in comfort. When the darkness beckoned, the only thing she knew how to do was shut down or panic. She could only guess that her ability to do so was a very large part of why she was here now. Every part of her larger self had been controlled by something different, something often times stronger than Karina. Being the one in control now was terrifying and that terror had manifested itself into one nightmare after another, the vividness of each growing steadily in intensity.

Pushing hair soaked with sweat out of her face, she fell back on the pillows and closed her eyes, concentrating on getting her breathing back to normal.

She'd always hated the dark, but never more so than she did now. Not to the point that waking up in it would terrify her and cause panic to override her common sense.

 _Just think of something different. Something happy. Not coffins or nails or hammering._

 _Johnny-._

The name alone sent a warm thrill through her that chased away the chill of terror. In an attempt to eliminate it entirely, she remembered what it had felt like to be held by him and the sense of delicate security that fell over her when his arms wrapped around her. It helped, but the nightmare was relentless and clung. She curled up on her side, grabbing a pillow and hugging it to her chest as she stared at the light.

Being human was growing progressively more difficult. And as much as she didn't want to think about it, she knew it was only a matter of time before she broke all together. She could feel the emotional pressure building, becoming more obvious. She reached for the phone, scrolling to Johnny's name and staring at the number. She wouldn't call him, wouldn't text him, but just seeing his name there and knowing it was an option was oddly comforting.

Even if he was a walking, talking gorilla with an amazing singing voice.

That argument was one she seemed to be losing, much like she was losing the race to outrun her emotions. It was almost easier to accept that this was her life now and if she wanted to keep reminding herself that someone she was starting to feel extremely attracted to was a gorilla as if that was a deal breaker, it was going to be one hell of a lonely life.

With a sigh, Karina rolled onto her back and glanced out the window. The sky was starting to lighten on the horizon. Robert would more than likely be up, starting the morning routine and brewing coffee. A cup of french pressed coffee didn't sound like a half bad idea at the moment.

She pushed the blankets back and got out of bed, throwing on a robe before she left in search of something that would help her stay awake.

As it were, there wasn't enough coffee in the world to keep her alert enough. She managed to make it through part of the morning before Nana called her out on her excessive yawning and insisted she go up to her room and take a nap. With the coffee doing next to nothing for her, Karina didn't argue. She stumbled upstairs, setting her alarm on her phone to go off with plenty of time for her to eat something and make herself presentable before Johnny showed up to get her, and was nearly asleep by the time she toppled into bed and was blessed with a dreamless sleep.

She was awoken what felt like only minutes later by a persistent buzzing and groped along the bed for her phone, her face pressed in the pillow. Lifting her head only enough to look at the screen, she frowned when she saw it was an incoming call from Johnny and not her alarm. She answered without making much of an effort to sound alert, her head still foggy with sleep. "Hello?"

"Are you...sleeping?"

"Was," she answered, pushing herself up on her elbows and yawning. "What time is it?"

"Uh, one fifteen."

Karina jerked upright and looked down at her phone, seeing that it was, indeed, a quarter past one. "Son of a...sorry! I'm so sorry! I must have forgot to turn on the sound on my alarm. I'll be right down!"

She barely registered his chuckle and response as she jumped out of bed and ran to the closet to change. "It's alright. Take your time. I'm not goin' anywhere."

Regardless of his promise not to leave, she rushed in pulling on a pair of jeggings, short suede boots, and a rose colored tank top, yanking a cream hooded sweater that brushed the backs of her calves as she left her room. She twisted her hair back in disheveled bun, securing it with the band around her wrist as she skipped down the steps and by the time she was out the front door, breathless but wide awake, she silently deemed herself marginally presentable.

 _And impressively under ten minutes,_ she thought to herself, waving to Johnny who was parked on the street in front of Nana's house. He smiled, waving back and her heart fluttered pleasantly, reminding her of those confusing emotions, knotting themselves into complex twists of pleasure, uncertainty, confusion and lust in the pit of her stomach. She forced herself to not get into yet another argument she would be losing with her rational side over the fact that he was a gorilla and she really shouldn't be attracted to him. She was losing every single one of those arguments anyway and they were getting quite tedious. Instead, she cautiously let a little hope in and jumped up in the truck beside him. "Hey! I'm so sorry, Johnny. You weren't waiting long, were you?"  
He shrugged, pulling out onto the road. "Not that long." He grinned and nodded towards the dash where two Starbucks to-go cups sat in the cup holders. "One on the left's yours. And there's somethin' to eat, if you want," he added, picking up the bag on the seat beside him and tossing it to her.

"You're the best!" she exclaimed, her stomach rumbling in approval. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him he didn't have to, to say that he was too nice. But the coffee smelled like heaven and the bag held the chocolate croissant she'd been craving so she settled for an enthusiastic "thank you" and dug in as if she were starving.

"Did you get lunch?" Johnny asked.

Karina shook her head, washing the mouthful of pastry down with a sip of vanilla latte and smiling. "No. I was up really early and Nana made me go take a nap after the third time of nearly falling asleep while reading to her."

"You read to her?"

"Mhmm. Every day. I think it's relaxing for her. Was she alone for a long time before I came along?"

"I'm not sure," Johnny said with a thoughtful frown. "All I hear is what Eddie says 'bout her and he makes it sound like she wants to be alone 'n all."

"Well, no offense to Eddie, but with a grandson like him, I think I'd want to be alone too. I'm sure he's nice but I've heard that edge in Nana's voice whenever he comes around. Like having him there is just draining or something."

Pulling to a stop at a red light, Johnny gave her a sardonic look. "You spent much time around Eddie? I don't blame her."

"Not a fan?" Karina asked, polishing off the last of the croissant twisting to face him a bit.

"He's alright. It's just...the guys kinda spoiled, ya know? I mean, he lives in his parents pool house and has a life coach. He's been great at the theater, helpin' out here and there. Meena babies him sometimes an' it drives me crazy. He probably wouldn't have the first clue what to do if he was on his own."

Karina studied him silently as he shifted the truck into first gear and started driving. His hands hands had tightened on the wheel slightly and his shoulders were suddenly tense. "And you would?" she asked softly.

He glanced at her, his gaze shy, wounded around the edges. She wanted nothing more than to slide across the seat right then and hug him, take his pain away even when it spoke so loudly to her own. "Yeah...a bit."

She wouldn't ask anymore than that. The sadness shadowing his eyes was starting to harden in a way that worried her. It wasn't something she felt she could understand or that he would even allow her to understand with where they were at, so she left it alone.

"How'd your morning go?" she asked in an obvious attempt to change the subject.

He immediately relaxed. "Busy. Barry was out for the morning so I was on my own for most of it."

"You don't have anyone else that comes in to help?"

"No. Barry's not even an employee. He's just a friend of the family that comes in to help when he can. Usually, it's just me."

She had a sudden image of him leaning over the engine of his truck, wrench in hand, music echoing off concrete walls and Johnny's voice rising easily above it as he worked. It was incredibly-.

 _Incredibly what,_ she silently screamed at her wayward mind. She fidgeted in her seat, crossing her legs and attempting to look outwardly normal. Luckily, Johnny's focus was on the road, his thumb tapping in time to whatever song it was that he was humming.

 _Sexy. Incredibly sexy...that's the word we're going for._

Karina wanted to groan and bury her face in her hands, hiding the blush she was sure had shown up just thinking that. As if this whole situation wasn't bizarre enough and her unclear feelings in regards to Johnny weren't entirely confusing. Throwing a word like _that_ in the mix just added a whole new twist. And that twist was a part of an emotion she wasn't used to working with. Or rather working well with.

Lust had a mind all it's own, a power all it's own. Generally, when other emotions tried to interfere, they created a level of complexity that drove Karina herself into dark worlds she wanted no part of where pain and anguish thrived. What lust craved, the darkness fed off of, and she had been a small piece of that unable to do anything beyond feel the repercussions of their greed.

Now, it seemed as if that lust was hers to control and hers to feel the unrestrained potency of. Watching lust work as a spectator was much more different than feeling the rush of it blaze through, heat her blood and curl her stomach in a way that was both uncomfortable yet drugging at the same time.

Luckily, they pulled up to the theater just as she started feeling horribly overwhelmed and desperate to have some space between them where she could calm herself. She hopped out of the truck, welcoming the autumn chill against her heated face and inhaled deeply. It offered a sliver of relief and she flipped her hood up, jogging around the truck to fall into step beside Johnny as they walked up to the side entrance of the theater.

"You goin' straight to work then?" Johnny asked, holding the door open for her.

"Yeah. I doubt sorting through that office is going to be something I'll finish any time soon." She smiled up at him, her heart tripping when her gaze met his. "Find me later?"

"Sure," he returned with an easy grin of his own.

With that, Karina spun on her heel and started towards the front of the theater, shoving her hands in the pockets of her sweater. She could hear singing coming from the stage, shouts from the stagehands, the clatter of equipment being moved along the catwalks. On a whim, she took a flight up stairs up to the second level that would allow her to walk past a majority of the practice rooms.

The second floor was far less busy than the first, the sounds from below secondary to the gentle strumming of a guitar filtering through the small crack of an open doorway down the hall. It was the same practice room she'd sat in with Ash the other day and Karina glanced towards the office before moving toward the sound. As Karina neared, she could see it was Ash who occupied the room. She was sitting on the floor against the wall of mirrors, her fingers idly plucking away at the strings as she stared off at nothing, her face a mask of indifference.

Karina knocked before nudging the door open, waving at the small porcupine when she glanced up. "Hey Ash."

"Hey Karina. How's it going?"

"It's going alright." Karina leaned against the doorjamb. "Was that Elastica?"

The question seemed to startle Ash. She was suddenly looking right at Karina, appreciation flashing in her eyes. "Yeah, it was. How did you know that?"

"90's kid. Can I come in?" Ash nodded and Karina pushed away from the door, walking further into the room and sinking down to the floor a few feet from Ash. "Do you do mostly covers?"

Ash started strumming the guitar again. This time the song wasn't one Karina recognized at all.

"Only when I'm bored. It's more of a distraction technique - pick out songs that I can play without thinking and just do it while my brain wanders off in another direction. The first time I performed on my own though, that was all me."

"How many songs have you written?"

"Just one, so far. I'm working on a new one but it just-." She sighed, running an agitated hand over her quills. "It's sounding way too angry."

"Is it not supposed to?"

"I don't...know. My first song was all about being free from Lance and not living in his shadow anymore. Going out on my own, standing for something. Following it up with something all angry and depressing just doesn't seem...right."

"Right by who's standards?" The look Ash gave her in response spoke volumes. Ash was looking to please an audience, to show her strength and show that she could stand alone. But, she was still hurting. "Maybe you should just write what you feel," Karina suggested. "It doesn't have to be something you perform. Just something you need to get out."

"Maybe," Ash mumbled.

Karina scooted a little closer, still leaving a respectable amount of distance between them but sitting next to her instead of across from her. "I know it's not my place at all but...what happened?"

Ash set her guitar aside and folded her arms over her chest in a move that was more protective than defensive. "The usual story - came home one night and walked in on him with another woman. I kicked him out and he moved in with her because he's an ass like that. He didn't even bother calling me until he saw me perform on TV and he's been blowing up my phone ever since."

On cue, Ash's phone buzzed and she rolled her eyes. "Speak of the spineless little prick." She picked up her phone and silenced the ringing before dropping it in her lap with a snort of disgust. "You know the sad part? The only thing I really _really_ miss about having Lance around...is having someone to binge watch Netflix with."

"I know the feeling," Karina said. "There's this show I've been really wanting to watch but doing it alone just feels strange."

Ash glanced at her. "Which show?"

"IZombie," Karina replied somewhat sheepishly. "I have a thing for shows that make something funny out of something that could be potentially world-ending. Given my history, I'm sure that seems a little...backwards-."

Ash grinned, lifting one shoulder in a careless shrug. "Makes more sense than you might think. You could come over to my place and watch it, if you want. I've been eying that one too. Lance was never into anything like that. I guess it'd be kinda cool to get away from the norm for a bit."

Karina gaped at the porcupine, not entirely sure she'd heard her right. "Really?"

"Sure. Why not? Unless you want to keep doing the whole 'get to know you' thing in fifteen minute stints here and there?"

"No! I mean, yeah...I'm fine here and there that but I'd love a chance to hang out outside of the theater. Really, Ash. Thank you."

Again, Ash shrugged, like trusting someone she hardly knew wasn't that big of a deal. Like she hadn't offered Karina the friendly connection she'd been craving, a chance at the kind of friendship she'd only been hoping for up until now. "No problem. If you're free Friday night, you could swing over. I don't live too far from here so we could just walk."

"That'd be great," Karina said, trying hard not to sound as excited as she was. She wanted so badly to have a normal life, to have normal connections and friendships. Her eyes started to burn, her emotions getting the best of her and she knew she had to get out before she made a fool out of herself by crying in front of Ash. "Well, I should probably get to work. Are you sticking around for a while?"

"Yeah, I think so. Might try to get some of that anger out."

Karina stood and shoved her hands in the pockets of her sweatshirt. "Don't think about performing. Might be something that's never heard on that level. Good luck!"

Picking up her guitar, Ash offered her a quick grin. "Thanks. See you later, Karina."

Feeling considerably light, Karina left the practice room and started for the front of the theater, humming to herself. Coffee with Johnny, an invite to binge watch mindless television from Ash - the afternoon was turning out to be much more than she'd expected it to be. Normalcy was seeping into the life she was attempting to create and for once, she felt a sense of excitement when thinking about what kind of future she might have in this world.

She was almost to the office when Eddie appeared around the corner, his eyes going wide when he saw her. "Karina!"

"Hey Eddie," she greeted with a smile and wave.

He glanced nervously over his shoulder, then rushed to her, grabbing her arm and pulling her back in the direction she'd been coming from. "Eddie, what-?"

"Mike's here," he muttered, looking around for what she could only assume was a quick escape route.

"Here!" he yelped, coming to an abrupt stop and yanking open a nearby door. "Hide in here for a bit, okay?"

He hastily ushered her in, ignoring her protests. "We'll get him outta here, but give us ten minutes," was all he said before giving her a tiny shove, slamming the door and throwing her into complete darkness.

The panic settled on her immediately. She could feel the moment that she'd been running from surge up to consume her, shattering the protective walls she'd carefully built around herself. Her vision faded to black around the edges and a chilled heaviness settled on her shoulders and chest, making it difficult to breathe. She whirled and grabbed the door handle, the panic intensifying when she found it locked.

She wanted to yell at Eddie to let her out but reason persisted against the blinding terror and she sank to her knees instead, maintaining a grip on the door handle with her trembling fingers as if it were a lifeline.

 _I can't breathe,_ she thought, closing her eyes tightly and pressing her forehead to the door. She concentrated on trying to, even though she felt like she was suffocating. She faintly registered the sound of raised voices coming closer and tightened her grip on the door handle, willing it to be over soon.

 _I'm going to pass out and no one but Eddie knows I'm in here. What if he forgets about me? What if I'm locked in here all night?_

She whimpered, pressing against the door, her entire body trembling.

Gradually, the voices faded. She waited another minute or two before trying the door again only to find it still locked. This time, when the apprehension seized her, she gave into it, yanking on the handle and trying to force it to open. She slammed her fist against the wood and gasped, the sound triggering memories of nails being driven into wood and causing the panic to become painful. Pounding on the door in hopes to gain someone's attention was not an option. She would have to hope that someone would hear her voice.

"Is anyone out there?" she called. "Please, let me out! The doors locked!"

Her breath hitched. She had the sudden sense of falling, though she was already sitting. Reason faintly called out to her, reminded her to breath, that this was a panic attack and she would live through it.

Unfortunately, reason held a tentative foothold in her subconscious at best and was easily overpowered.

"Someone help!" she yelled louder, yanking at the handle desperately, hot tears tracing over her cheeks. "Let me out of here!"

Her hands started to go numb, pins and needles prickling along the surface of her skin, and she let go with a sob of frustration, curling into herself.

"Breathe," she muttered, her voice thick with agony. "Just breath, Karina."

She searched for strength, but in the darkness, all that existed was desperation, fear, and the glaringly obvious fact that she could run no more.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Still alive! So sorry this took so long guys. Every time I tried to write something, I wanted to scream at the page and make Karina and Johnny go at it. I didn't! Not yet. But it's been tempting. :)**  
 **We've also been going through kidding season (we have three new baby goats on the farm) so it's been crazy busy to say the least. This chapter was going to be a lot longer but I think I can break it in two and have it work just fine. Hope you all enjoy and again, I'm really sorry this took as long as it did. Love to all your reviewers, followers and those who added this to your favorites. You guys are amazing and your support keep the drive strong!**  
 **Side note - forgive the typos. It's 2am...that's about all I've got for an excuse, lol.**

Chapter Seven

Johnny sat at the piano on stage, staring at the ivory keys and not entirely sure what to do with them. Song after song came to mind, but somewhere between thinking the tune, piecing together which piano keys would give it life and actually moving his fingers to create said life, everything seemed to get lost in murky translation.

Because his mind wasn't truly on playing. Or even singing for that matter.

It was on Karina.

He could still hear her sleepy "hello" humming pleasantly in his ears, the low husky quality stirring a sudden, unexpected surge of lust. The idea of waking up beside her and hearing her say it just like that was in his head before he could even stop it and even now, continued to ruthlessly plague him.

Everything about her seemed to stay with him, down to her scent which had clung to his leather jacket after she'd given it back to him. All the way home, he was surrounded by her and his tired mind took every liberty possible with the fact, filling his head with thoughts and questions that he wouldn't dream of asking himself when he wasn't exhausted. Questions he'd be damned if he could find the answers to.

The most quiet and yet most persistent one was could they possibly be something?

Could what he was and what Karina ever work?

And would it be completely abnormal of him to kind of wish that there ever would be something?

Interspecies relationships weren't unheard of. And really, that was the only thing he could think to call it. Acceptance had grown in more recent years and the only type to really turn heads was a relationship between a predator and prey. Those had been, up until more recently, met with complete hostility and refusal to understand until a couple from one of the bigger cities Johnny had never been to, went public with their relationship. And not just any couple - but one that worked on the police force together and had been the driving force in shutting down an operation focused on turning preds savage.

Their professional partnership had been unanimously accepted by the public after that, so much so that when word broke of their romantic involvement, it caused more confusion than backlash.

Johnny could remember his dad saying something about it once - something that had always stuck with him because it was such an unlikely thing for a guy like his dad to say.

"You ain't got much choice over love. It ain't somethin' to understand. It's a livin', breathin' force, - one you're better off not questionin'. Just let it do it what it'll do and be grateful when it sticks what you've been lookin' for your whole life right in your face."

Johnny had a feeling that his dad had been talking about his mom. His gaze had been distant, his voice a quiet, pain filled rumble of agony.

He'd never known his mom and whenever his dad said something that hinted the slightest bit at her, Johnny would immediately want to leave the room. He was comfortable with his dad's gruffness, his anger and demands. However, the vulnerable piece of him that existed, wrapped up in a woman who'd died long before Johnny was old enough to remember what her face looked like, wasn't a piece that Johnny wanted to be around, in all honesty. He never knew what to do for his dad in those moments and it made Johnny feel more alone than ever.

"Hey Johnny!"

Johnny glanced up from the keys, offering Rosita a smile and gratefully shrugging off the shadows of the past as she trotted on stage, her youngest Hannah trailing behind her. When Hannah caught sight of him, she broke away from her mother and dashed across the stage, throwing herself into his arms.

"Johnny!"

"Hey kid. You keepin' your mum company today?" he asked, easily catching her and swinging her up in his arms.

"She had a dentist appointment this afternoon," Rosita set her purse down on a bench just offstage, tossing Hannah's backpack beside it. "By the time we were finished, I didn't really see a point to bringing her to school so we went out for lunch instead and now we're here."

Hannah squirmed in his lap, twisting up to face him and tugging on the collar of his jacket. "Is Karina here?"

He grinned down at her, tweaking her nose. "Somewhere, yeah."

With an excited yelp, Hannah sprang off his lap and took off towards the wings.

"Well, guess she's over you," Rosita said with a laugh. "How are you, hun? We haven't had a chance to talk for a while."

"Good...I'm good," he replied, turning and facing the keys again, staring down at the chipped ivory.

She took a seat beside him. "That didn't sound convincing at all. What's going on, Johnny?"

He couldn't possibly tell her about all of the confusing thoughts centered on Karina. Not only did it feel like it was too soon to say anything, but he wanted to keep those feelings to himself until he could figure them out. Until he didn't feel like he had to safeguard them.

Instead, he went with something Rosita was familiar with.

"I'm gonna visit my dad tomorrow. His trials comin' up and the lawyer wants to meet with us. Go over things an' all that."

Concern flashed over her face. "What do you think is going to happen?"

Johnny shrugged indifferently. "The lawyer thinks he can reduce dad's sentence. I don't know much more than that."

"How's your dad doing?"

"Seems okay." Sighing, he dropped his hands in his lap, giving up on trying anything for the day. "I know he wants to come home. Says he's worried about me takin' care of myself and runnin' the shop. I think he has a hard time believin' I'm able to manage it without him around."

Rosita patted his arm. "I doubt it's that. Parents just want to take care of their kids, even when they know that their kids are old enough to take care of themselves. I'll probably mother my children well into their twenties and drive them insane while doing it."

Johnny angled a grin at her. "You mean you don't drive them insane already?"

"Watch yourself, young man, or I'll start practicing some of those smothering mom skills on you," she teased.

Hannah reappeared, interrupting their conversation and wearing a confused frown. "Mama, I can't find Karina."

"Well, where all did you look?" Rosita asked patiently.

"I looked in the practice rooms, the bathroom and went upstairs but someone is banging on a door up there and it scared me."

"Banging on a...what?"

Hannah clambered up into her mother's lap. "Upstairs in that room Mr. Moon tells us not to play in because of the door always getting stuck. Someone is banging on it real hard. Is the theater haunted?"

"No, honey. The theater's not haunted." She set Hannah down and with a quick, concerned glance in his direction, started for the wings.

Without asking if he should, Johnny went with her, an uneasy feeling settling over him. They were halfway up the stairs when a shout for help tore through the silence.

"Ash-." Rosita gasped, flying the rest of the way up the stairs and towards the sound of Ash's cries, Johnny right behind her.

They rounded the corner and could see Ash at the door to one of the maintenance closets, the one Mr. Moon had advised them all to steer clear of until he could get someone in to fix the door. She was tugging on the handle, a rare look of panic fixed on her face.

"Ash, what-."

"It's Karina!" the young porcupine cried. "She's stuck in there. I kept her talking for a while but then she went quiet and I can't get the damn door open!"

"Johnny-."

"Way ahead of ya," he cut Rosita off, grabbing the handle and trying it once before yanking on it with far more strength than necessary. The wood splintered as the door swung open revealing nothing more than a dark closet full of janitorial equipment. "Karina?"

A tiny whimper caught his attention and he looked down to where she was sitting, curled up against the wall, her arms wrapped tightly round her legs.

"Hey," he said softly, kneeling down beside her and resting a hand on her shoulder. It was trembling. Her whole body was. Her head was tucked into her arms and her breathing was quick and shallow in a way that terrified him. "Karina, you okay?"

She wouldn't answer him. He tightened his hand on her shoulder, giving it a little tug and she jerked away, a low frightened sound escaping her.

Johnny suddenly felt helpless in a way that he hadn't felt since the time he'd pleaded for his dad to listen to his plan to bail him out of jail with the non-existent prize money as his dad had walked away, ignoring every word.

"Johnny, what's wrong?"

He turned to Rosita. "I don't know. She won't talk."

Rosita brushed past him, a determined look on her face, the one generally reserved for when she was in full-on mom mode, as her husband liked to call it.

She knelt down in front of Karina, gently taking her hand. Karina was quick to react, trying to snatch her hand free but Rosita was patient and maintained her hold.. "She's freezing. I think she might be having a panic attack or some kind of flashback. Ash?"

The porcupine came forward, her anxious gaze fixed on the human. "Yeah?"

"Can you run down to my purse and get the bottle of water out of it? Stage left on the couch. Johnny, can I have your coat?"

"Yeah, sure." He shrugged it off as Ash dashed out of the room. Instead of handing it to Rosita, he draped it over Karina's shoulders. Like the night before, the cumbersome leather nearly swallowed her, though the effect was entirely different. Instead of looking cute, she looked tiny and vulnerable.

"Karina, honey," Rosita started softly. "It's Rosita. I need you to listen to my voice. I want to help you but you have to tell me what's going on. Where are you?"

The answer seemed obvious to Johnny. She was in a closet. And he half expected her to say so. What he didn't expect was for her to say she was somewhere else.

"In the ocean," she said softly, her voice strained. The trembling subsided and she seemed to relax a little. Her eyes opened and she stared through Rosita, her gaze haunted. "I think. I can hear the waves on the coffin."

"Coffin?" Johnny choked. "Rosita, maybe you shouldn't-."

She shushed him and continued on, seemingly unphased by the cryptic response. "Are you sure you're in a coffin?" she asked.

Karina managed a small, jerking nod. "Nailed in. She wanted me gone...wanted to get rid of me. Didn't...didn't want me. Too weak...reminded her too much."

Johnny's stomach turned with every word. He felt the need to run but stood right where he was, watching the scene unfold in horrified fascination.

Rosita moved a little closer. "Reminded her too much?"

"The bad things." Karina's brows furrowed. "I...I wasn't good at...at handling them. I held on, I fixated...made everything so much... _worse._ "

"What happened after she put you in the coffin?"

"Drifted...forever. It was dark and quiet all the time. I thought I felt things...heard things. But it was always so dark."

Rosita stroked a hoof over her hair, pushing damp strands away from Karina's face. Color was slowly returning to her cheeks and even though her breathing was still coming out in shallow gasps, she looked much better than she had only seconds ago. "It's not dark here. There's light. Can you see it? There's not much but it's there. And you're not alone."

The last sentence seemed to snap Karina out of whatever nightmare she'd been living in. She gasped and looked up, her gaze focusing on Rosita.

"I'm here," Rosita continued, "Johnny's here."

"Johnny-."

She looked up at him and he gave her a weak smile. "Hey."

She was silent for close to a minute before her eyes glassed over and her face fell. "Oh god-."

"Kariana, honey...it's okay," Rosita assured her.

The words seemed to do little to help. Karian shook her head, pressing her hand to her mouth. And all he could do was watch on in helpless silence as she fell apart, her shoulders heaving and a low, muffled sob escaping her. He could almost feel her panic, sliding off of her in suffocating waves.

Ash returned, bottle of water in hand and Eddie and Buster following her.

"Ash said something happened to Karina?" Buster asked, worry coloring his tone. "Is everything okay?"

"I ah...I don't think so," Johnny muttered, his gaze darting back to where Karina was curling into herself.

Eddie tried to look around the doorway and see past Johnny, which rubbed him entirely the wrong way. Eddie knew next to nothing about Kariana, and next to nothing made his concern seam misplaced.

"Did she get hurt?" he asked. "I should have been more careful when I pushed her in there. I didn't mean to but Mike was coming around the corner and I didn't want him to see her."

Johnny's mild irritation flamed into full, unadulterated fury and he grabbed Eddie's arm, shoving him back into the hallway. "You did _what_?"

"Woah, Johnny...I...I didn't mean to-."

"What the hell did ya mean to do?" he growled.

"I don't know. I just know Mike's the last guy we want seeing her!" Eddie yelped, putting his hands up as if he were surrendering. "Honest, I didn't mean to hurt her!"

Johnny wanted to hit him. To smack that stupid, clueless look off his face as hard as he possibly could. His hands practically itched to do it. But a literal voice of reason stopped him.

"Johnny," Rosita called, her light touch on his arm calming him. "Take Karina home. I'll handle this."

When he continued to glare down at the cowering sheep, her grip tightened and she gave a stern tug. "Now, Johnny."

It was only because he knew better than to ignore that tone of hers that he stepped back. He turned to Karina, the red haze subsiding as he looked down at her, still curled into herself, quietly sobbing.

"Karina-." He knelt down beside her. He was feeling a little shaky himself from the sudden rush and fall of adrenaline. Suddenly, the thought of getting out of the theater was incredibly appealing. "I'm gonna take you home, okay?"

She nodded and reached for him, keeping her head down as he led her past the small, tense group and maintaining a vice-like grip on his hand until they reached his truck. He was reluctant to let her hand go, feeling as if what tentative connection they shared would be shattered if he did. He could already feel a widening distance between them that wasn't there before.

He walked her around the truck and opened the door for her, finally relinquishing his hold when she was in the passenger seat. He closed her door and jogged around to the other side, sliding behind the wheel and starting the truck up. He could see her out of the corner of his eye, hands clasped tightly in her lap, vacant gaze fixed on the glove box.

 _What the hell do I do…._

Left with little choice, he started out of the alley.

"I don't want to go home."

Her statement was so quiet, he almost missed it. "Karina-."

"I don't want to go home. I don't...I don't want to be alone with all of... _this_. Could we just go up to your spot or something?"

"Yeah...yeah, course we can," he said, turning the opposite direction and heading out of town.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: The slow burn turned into an inferno and swallowed me. Sorry guys! I gave in to the characters! They're highly demanding. :)

Chapter Eight

Johnny had attempted to speak numerous times. But every time he did, he'd stop himself at the last second, fearing that anything he could manage would be stupid and careless in the face of everything that had happened over the last hour.

His phone had gone off about as many times as he'd attempted to form a sentence. After the second alert, he'd silenced it but it continually vibrated in his jacket pocket.

Karina sat silent beside him in the back of his truck, tears streaming down her face, her hands fisted in her lap. She'd jumped out of the truck as soon as he'd shifted into park. After watching her stand for several minutes, her arms crossed protectively over her chest, he'd pulled the tailgate down, hopped up and offered her a hand. Sitting beside each other in the truck bed was familiar and seemed to calm her. But even in her calm state, she hadn't said a word or even moved much since they'd left the theater. In the silence, her words from earlier screamed their way through his head, one standing out above the others.

He couldn't seem to shake her statement about being in a coffin, or the way she'd claimed to end up there...because someone had wanted her gone.

"Johnny?"

He glanced down at her. "Yeah?"

"Have you ever had someone just...give up on you?"

Her voice was a small, wounded plea of need. He could feel the desperation to connect to something, _anything_ and understood it more than she probably thought he would. When his father had shut him out, the pain had been swift, deep and brutal. He'd wanted nothing more than to find comfort but there was absolutely nowhere for him to turn. He'd handled it alone, compartmentalized what he could and had managed to convince himself that it didn't hurt as much as he thought it did. Every time his emotions tried to prove him wrong, he found a distraction or did exactly what his father had done to him - he shut them out.

"My dad," he murmured. An unexpected rush of relief came with the words. What little people knew, or more specifically, what little Rosita knew, was impersonal bits and pieces - dad in a gang, landed in prison, held on an unreasonably high bail. The rest was kept buried as deep as he could possibly get it - where he could ignore it and continue living without the shadow of his father's rejection hanging over his head. Though they'd reconciled the night of his first huge performance, forgetting how much his father had hurt him had proved to be a very difficult thing.

"He was part of a gang. Always pullin' off robberies where there was a decent amount of money involved. Every time I thought he'd gotten enough, him and his guys were lining up another heist."

With every word, more and more weight seemed to lift from his shoulders. Everything he'd locked away started pouring out of him faster than he could stop it.

"I didn't want to be part of his gang but couldn't figure out how to tell him. So I helped out on every job. Mostly actin' as a lookout but the last one he did, he wanted me to handle the driving. And I...I screwed up. We were rehearsin' for a private performance for Ms. Noodleman an' the day the ship with all the gold my dad wanted to get his hands on came in. Mr. Moon was already worried about how many times I'd ducked out so I tried to keep everyone happy...dropped my dad and his guys off and then booked it across town to make it to rehearsal. Didn't make it back in time to get my dad though and the cops busted him...hauled him off to jail. I went to visit him right away and when he asked me where I'd been...I told him." Johnny took a deep breath, fighting past the growing lump in his throat. The relief washing over him was overpowering the sorrow, demanding that he push past the hurt and purge himself of emotions that had eaten away at him from the dark corners he'd imprisoned them in. "Told him it was for a singing competition, that I didn't want to be part of his gang. And he said...he said 'how did I end up with a son like you. You're nothin' like me. You never was and you never will be."

Karina's hand slipped under his, hands curling around and squeezing in a show of silent support. He squeezed back, suddenly feeling very much drained. "He showed up the night of the performance. Busted out of prison to come tell me how proud he was of me and...and it was okay. But I haven't been able to really forget how much those words hurt and how alone I felt. And now that he's in prison...kinda harder to avoid that whole 'alone' feeling. It's just me takin' care of me. I know he doesn't want it to be that way and that he doesn't blame me for it. I blame me for it sometimes, though."

Karina curled into him, hugging his arm and resting her head against it. He could feel her hesitation in the silence that fell between them, could sense the internal struggle she was going through. Without thinking,he freed his arm from her and wrapped it around her shoulders, allowing her to move even closer. It felt entirely platonic - nothing romantic or tense...just two people hurting and needing to find comfort in one another when the world had denied them that one thing for too long.

"I lied to everyone," she finally started, her voice low and quiet. "I lied when I said I didn't know what had happened to me. I know...but it's so surreal that it's hard for me to understand myself. If I can't understand why things happened the way they did and how I ended up here...how could I expect others to understand and not think I was insane?"

A shudder went through her and he tightened his hold, remaining quiet.

"Before I showed up here...I wasn't even a person. I was just...part of someone. An emotion or part of their soul...something along those lines. I didn't have a heart beat or a body, I didn't breathe. I just...existed as a part of someone bigger. Karina...it means pure. I'm not sure if that's what I was or what I existed as. But I know that at some point...all I was seen as was a weakness. And the more _she_ struggled...the more she sold herself short or put herself in positions that would cause her heartache...the more she hated herself and the more she hated me. She got involved with the wrong people, fell for the wrong guy...started doing drugs and conforming herself to the standards of others. She was depressed, anxious, struggling every day...and when she finally broke away from all of that she singled me out, labled me as the cancer that kept her caught up in all of that and hurting over it. The only thing she could think of to do to move past all the pain was to cut me out of her and shut me away."

As the words poured out of her, Johnny tried to keep up. What she was saying was nearly impossible to believe. If she hadn't been sitting right next to him, her hand gripping his shirt, her tears soaking the fabric, he would think he was listening to a trailer for some sci-fi/horror movie.

"It was late one night when she snapped. I was so overwhelmed with her pain, so caught up in the darkness that I couldn't do anything to help her. And she didn't want my help. She was in the middle of a full on breakdown, chain smoking and cutting herself...and suddenly she went numb. She closed her eyes, sought out the piece of her that was me, tore me out of her and nailed me away in a coffin. She mentally buried me. And I just...existed there. I don't even know how long I was shut away like that. I can remember moments of voices...always really muffled and I could never figure out what was being said. I didn't try very hard. I felt so alone and abandoned that it was just easier to check out and not pay attention to anything around me."

Johnny shifted to the side, pulling Karina into his lap without thinking and wrapping his other arm around her. She didn't fight him, she didn't hesitate at all. She curled up in his lap and pressed her face to his chest, her shoulders trembling with silent sobs.

"When they found me, that was the first time I realized something had changed. That I wasn't part of someone anymore. I was suddenly starving and everything hurt...and I was desperate to live even if I didn't know how to.

"The hospital director called in Nana as a personal favor. The way she explained it to me was she has leverage, money, and the ability to shut people up. She took me in and for three months I just...wandered her house and kept doing the existing thing. There was always that fear that I would just stop. That one day I wouldn't wake up here and be back in that coffin. I've been able to run from a lot of it, keep myself distracted but today...I can't handle small spaces and I can't be in the dark at all."

Johnny tightened his hold on her. The disbelief was starting to fade but in its place came a building fear that mirrored her own - that one day she just wouldn't be there.

"I probably just scared the hell out of you," she muttered after remaining silent for several minutes. Some of the tension was starting to leave her. She sagged against him, her grip on his shirt loosening. "I know it's...a lot. And really _really_ hard to believe."

"You didn't scare me. I mean...it sounds crazy but you're the one livin' it."

He didn't know what more to say, how to put what he was feeling into words - humbled, overwhelmed, protective...and a wave of relief because for once it felt like he was no longer alone. They'd both thrown so much out there, taken down so many walls with complete trust in one another. "The only thing that scares me," he started, knowing he was taking a huge leap of faith, "is the same thing that scares you. Thinkin' you won't be here some day."

He held his breath, waiting for a response. When she snuggled even more against him, wrapping hers arms around him and hugging him tightly, he exhaled, swamped with relief.

"Before I met you, that didn't scare me as much as it does now. Even with Nana, I was feeling so alone." He could hear the smile in her voice, feel it against his chest. "You've saved me so many times. Thank you."

"You're welcome," he murmured, smiling a little himself.

It didn't take long for her breathing to even out, for her to fully relax and for him to realize that she'd fallen asleep on him. Again.

He gave her a little shake, chuckling when she responded with a grumble and rubbed her face against his chest. Carefully, making every effort not to disrupt her sleep, he shrugged out of his jacket, shifted until he was laying more comfortably in the truck bed and crammed his jacket behind his head, using it as a pillow.

"M'sorry," Karina sighed. "Jus'so tired."

"Sleep," he instructed. "I'm right here. Not goin' anywhere."

She relaxed again and he rested his cheek against the top of her head. Her hand found his, and she wove her fingers through his. "I don't feel alone anymore."

Johnny inhaled her scent, finding a peace in the simple action and closing his eyes. "Neither do I."

He fell asleep without meaning to, far more exhausted than he had thought he was. When he woke up, the sun was sinking in the horizon. Colors of red, orange and violet burned across the deepening blue sky. Stars started winking to life on the backdrop. He carefully lifted his arm and reached behind his head, digging into his jacket pocket for his phone. He had thirteen missed calls and twenty-seven text messages. Seeing the last three missed calls were from Rosita, the most recent from ten minutes ago, he called her.

"Johnny! Are you okay? Where are you?" Rositta answered midway through the second ring, her voice high with worry.

"I'm fine, Rositta. I'm outside 'a town a bit. Karina didn't want to go home."

"She's with you? Is she okay?"

"Yeah," he said, looking down at her and smiling. "Yeah, I think she'll be okay."

"Oh good. You should call Eddie. He feels terrible."

"I'll think about it."

"Johnny-."

"If I don't call him tonight, I'll talk to 'im tomorrow, alright?"

She hesitated before answering. "Fine. You're sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, mum."

She sighed long and loud, and he could almost see her rolling her eyes a his unnecessary endearment. "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow."

He disconnected the call and placed his phone down beside him, draping his arm back over Karina. He wanted to prolong taking her home, wanted to stay right where they were and not drop her off before returning to a large, empty garage.

"I keep falling asleep on you."

Johnny laughed softly at the sound of Karina's muffled, groggy voice. "I don't mind. You needed it."

She pushed herself away from him a bit, sitting upright in his lap and shoving her hair away from her face. The disheveled blond mess fell over her shoulders in soft waves as she turned her head to look out at the lights of the city and his breath caught.

He was really going to have to stop fighting the thought that she was beautiful. No amount of reminding himself that she wasn't like him was helping. If anything, it was becoming easier and easier to brush that little thought aside as if it were nothing.

"I should call Nana. She's probably worried," she said, not sounding very dedicated to the idea but reaching into the pocket of her sweatshirt nonetheless. "Hm, yeah...I missed a call from her about twenty minutes ago."

"Did you want to get home?"

Karina offered him a shy smile and shook her head. "Not really, no."

He questioned himself, hesitated for only a minute and then took another chance. "We could do somethin'. Get somethin' to eat...maybe go to a movie?"

"A movie?" Her voice was filled with skepticism but she couldn't hide the flash of hope and longing in her eyes. "How would you even get me into a movie?"

"I've got my ways. Want to?"

A flush crept into her cheeks.

"I'd really like that," she said softly, her cheeks darkening even further. It was fascinating to him. The only other person he'd seen blush was Roistta and it was usually Gunter causing it with his revealing choice of wardrobe. When Karina did it though, there was a vulnerable innocence to it that drew him.

In an effort to shake off the seriousness and lighten the situation, he gave her a mock glare. "No fries in shakes though," he warned.

Karina laughed moving out of his lap and standing. "Deal."

She called Nana, wandering away from the truck as she spoke in a low voice and he gave her space, hopping into the truck and quickly pulling his phone free to do a search on what was playing nearby. He knew exactly what he was going for and was relieved to see that the theater he hoped would be open still was. Lucky for him, not only was it open, it was playing classic horror flicks from the 80's.

 _Perfect._

He ignored the several text messages he would continue to ignore until the next morning and slipped his phone back into his pocket, glancing over his shoulder and grinning at Karina as she paced slowly back and forth behind the truck, hugging herself with one arm.

Like a the shadow of an echo, her story lingered in the back of his mind. He'd never been face to face before with something that could easily be classified as science fiction. He didn't necessarily believe in anything paranormal. But a story like that was impossible to make up. That nagging fear over her possibly just not being _there_ anymore started to creep up and he quickly shoved it back, not willing to think about it. She was there now and with her around, the emptiness that had always seemed to walk side by side with him was gone.

Karina finished up her call and jumped in beside him, smiling.

"Ready?" he asked, already reaching for the key.

She nodded. "Yes. You said food, right? I'm starving."

"Same here." He started the truck and shifting the gearstick into reverse. "Where we're goin' we can get somethin' to eat and catch a movie."

Johnny drove to the opposite side of town, pointing out places as they went. From the way Karina was watching the scenery pass, he could tell she hadn't been around much. When they started into his side of town, he pointed out the garage. "That's where I work...and live. There's a two bedroom apartment towards the back that my dad put together when I was a kid. Should actually stop there real quick."

"Johnny, that's nowhere near Nana's!"

"Yeah," he said with a sad smile. "It's not. But the prison is."

"Oh-."

Karina ducked her head, clearly embarrassed. He reached across the seat, taking her hand and giving it a small squeeze. "S'okay. You didn't know."

She was quiet for a moment, contemplating their hands. Then she slid her fingers through his. "Do you...go there every day?"

"I try to. Usually stop by before goin' to the theater. So you _are_ on the way." He pulled up to the garage door, hit the opener and gave her hand a quick squeeze before letting it go. "Be right back."

He jogged up to the door, ducking under it as it continued to open and starting towards the back. He didn't bother with the lights as he went to his room to retrieve two pillows and a blanket, used to maneuvering around in the dark. The thought that he should grab two blankets, that it would make more sense for each of them to have their own in case it got cold, died a quick death when he quickly rationalized that he likely wouldn't need one. He tossed the blanket over his arm, tucked the pillows under it and headed back out to the truck, throwing them in back before getting back in.

At her questioning look, he just grinned and pulled away from the garage. They were on their way back out of town, the radio playing quietly as the city passed by in a slow blur of lights. The lights faded the further out of town they drove and before they disappeared all together, Johnny pulled off on a well worn gravel driveway that lead through an open gate and onto a field where a huge screen rose up on the other side, dark for the time being. After paying the man at the gate, Johnny pulled in and drove slowly through nearly empty lot to find a spot close to the screen but a good distance from other cars so Karina wouldn't have to worry about keeping herself hidden.

"What is that?" Karina asked, tilting her head slightly and contemplating the screen.

"Ever heard of a drive in movie?"

"Um...can't say that I have."

"No theater," he explained. "No walls. Not much of a crowd. We can just sit in the back, watch a super old horror movie and eat."

Karina's smile was slow and full of relief. "You...are brilliant."

"I have my moments." He killed the engine and got out, rounding the car to open the door for Karina and helping her into the back of the truck. "Stay here. I'll go get us some food. What do ya want to drink?"

"Do you think they have lemonade?" she asked.

"I'll see what I can do. Be right back."

There were only two other people in line at the concessions stands, only five other cars in the lot. Being a Thursday night, it wasn't madly surprising. He smiled and nodded at the couple ahead of him as they passed with their drinks and popcorn. He hadn't been to the drive in since he was a kid. His dad had taken him often then, before working the gang had taken over his life. Any time there had been some action movie with detectives and high stake robberies, they were there.

 _Like he was takin' notes or somethin'._

Brushing off the morose thought, he stepped up to the counter and ordered two veggie burgers with fries and popcorn to snack on when the food was gone, then thanked the teen behind the glass smacking her gum and headed back for the truck.

The previews were starting by the time he hopped into the truck bed, slightly surprised to find Karina reclined against one pillow, the other beside her and the blanket spread over her with what looked to be plenty left for him if he wanted it.

"They didn't have lemonade," he apologized, sinking down next to her and handing over a drink and a box of food. "Orange okay?"

"Yeah, that's great. Thanks Johnny."

She tore into her food with no reservations what-so-ever and he watched on in amused fascination for a while before starting in on his own food as screen flickered to life. Knowing what he knew about her now made it so much easier to understand her. Everything she was experiencing, she was experiencing for the first time. The fascination, the hesitation, the reactions to something as simple as city scenery or even driving into the drive through theater all made more sense. It wasn't just his world she was seeing for the first time. It was _everything._

It didn't take long for the food to vanish and for them to settle further against the pillows, sinking into the dramatic plot of the movie.

It was after the third chase and kill that Johnny started to notice Karina wasn't exactly reacting to the movie. She was into it, that much was obvious. But she wasn't jumping at any of the surprise attacks, or cringing at any of the gore. Given her past, he had half expected her to.

"You know," he started, leaning down closer to him, "with everythin' you've been though, you sure can handle a horror movie."

Karina smiled a bit sheepishly. "Yeah I was...um...subjected to a lot of horror movies in my...previous life. She was a junkie for things like that. Anything to get that adrenaline rush from fear." She looked up at him, her brows furrowing. "I should have a problem with it, shouldn't I?"

Johnny shrugged. "Well, it is just a movie.."

Her frown deepened for a moment and then she groaned, burying her face in her hands. "I'm so messed up."

Johnny set the popcorn aside and reached for her wrists, pulling them down. "You're not messed up," he said, offering her a reassuring smile. She continued to stare at her hands and he tilted her chin up with his thumb. "Karina, you're not messed up."

"Then what am I?" she murmured miserably, tears turning her eyes a glassy blue.

"Beautiful."

It was the first word that came to his mind and was out before he could think twice about saying it, startling them both. There was a moment of stillness, a moment in which Johnny knew he could back away, knew for her sake that he should have. But he couldn't make himself to it. Instead, he leaned in, resting his forehead against hers and searching her eyes for any trace of fear or uncertainty.

"I don't know how to do this," she whispered, her free hand tentatively grasping his open jacket, her thumb playing nervously over the zipper. "I don't know how to do _any_ of this."

"Not really sure how to myself." Johnny brushed his knuckles over her cheekbone before dropping his hand to the slope of her shoulder, his fingers curling around the back of her neck. "But you want to-."

Karina nodded. She inched closer, trust and longing burning like fire in her eyes. Not fear. Not uncertainty.

Heart racing, he kissed her with more caution than necessary, not fully trusting himself to make this work. Her lips were softer than he thought they would be, the orange tasting sugar from her drink lingering. He wanted more, wanted to know if that sugary sweetness went any further than her lips. But he resisted, determined not to scare her away. So what if one innocent peck proved to be the one thing that would drive him entirely insane.

His trust in himself wavered and he started to move away when the warm touch of her hand against his face stopped him. He waited, a breath away from her, still able to smell the orange. And suddenly her mouth was on his, hot and greedy, her hands curling around his neck and pulling him closer. It was as if someone had flicked a switch, the way she came alive. Her leg slid over his and he shifted to the side to get closer to her, his hand going to her waist, sliding around and pulling her against him. Her lips parted on a sigh and he took full advantage with no thought, acting on instinct and desire alone. They were the only two things he was capable of feeling at the moment, all other emotions and rational eagerly shoved aside.

Karina wound her arms around his neck, coaxing him closer still and he lifted her, moving so that she was lying halfway under him. They were somewhere between wild abandon and innocent exploration, managing not to trip off of the thin line between the two.

Johnny was so lost in her taste, in the feel of her body against his, that he hardly heard the approaching rumble or felt the slow build of dripping rain until lightning split the sky, sending a rolling wave of thunder across the land and the sky opened up right over their heads.

"Shit!" he yelped, breaking away and yanking the blanket up over them. "What the bloody hell? It wasn't supposed to rain tonight!"

Karina released a breathless laugh, wiping the few drops that had managed to hit her away from her face. "So much for a movie."

Grinning back at her, he lowered his forehead to hers again, finding a comfort in the simple show of affection that he'd never felt before. "Wasn't much into it anyway."

"Same here," she said, the bright red bleeding into her cheeks noticeable even in the darkness.

He didn't want to cut the evening short. He wasn't quite ready for their perfect moment to be shattered. But he was also unwilling to be struck by lightning.

Said lightning quickly made up his mind for him as he leaned forward to kiss her again, drawn by the flirtatious look she was giving him. It struck a the treeline behind the screen and they both jumped at the loud crack of thunder.

"We should probably get in the truck."

Karina nodded and they quickly lept over the sides, dodging into the dark cab of the truck as rain turned to hail, pinging off the rooftop.

Johnny started the truck and turned on the radio, scanning to a local station as Karina pulled her phone out and started searching local forecasts. Around them, other cars were quickly pulling out of the lot as the movie continued to play. Whoever had been manning the concession stand was nowhere to be seen.

"Severe thunderstorm warning," Karina said, shooting him a worried look. "And from the look of the radar, it's a pretty big storm."

She held up her phone for him to see. Their entire area was a mass of green, yellow and red, showing no early end to what was settling over them. There was no guaranteeing he could get her all the way across town to Nana's without things getting much worse at the rate the storm seemed to be moving.

"Would you be okay waiting it out at my place?" he asked.

Karina nodded, smiling a little and his stomach tripped. "Absolutely."


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Guys...I am so so SOOOO sorry this took so long. This chapter was tricky and emotional and I had to get a LOT of input on whether I was going the right way with it or not. Writing in Karina's POV this time around was tough. Not gonna lie. There were several days I sat down, wrote three sentences, and then stared at my document waiting for it to write itself. But I'm hoping a lag like that doesn't happen again. I know it's hard for people following a fic to have to wait for updates, especially when they take that long. Love to you all! And thank you to Kristina, Rebekah, and Mary for all of your input, inspiration, ideas and love. You guys are amazing and I love you all so much!

Chapter Nine

In the cavernous garage of the auto shop, the thunder was nearly as loud as it had been outside, the rain pelting against the tin roof and roaring through the silence. Uncomfortably damp and feeling the chill from the rain starting to seep into her, Karina followed Johnny through the shop towards the back where tools and metal gave way to something more domesticated - couches around a television set, a battered coffee table strewn with automotive magazines and an untitled book lying open and face down beside a can of pop. She could make out a small kitchen to the left, what looked to be a slightly larger gym ot the right and a small hallway to the left of the gym where three doors - two open and one closed - crowded the walls.

Karina clasped her hands in front of her, gripping them together so tightly that she could feel the circulation ebbing away from the tips of her fingers.

Her mind was spinning out of control, emotions she'd never dealt with before overwhelming her. Her confidence from earlier was quickly fading. From the moment Johnny's mouth had brushed hers, something had woken up and surged forward. Something that terrified and excited her. She wanted to reach out and grab him, kiss him again and press her body to his warmth, with startling ferocity. She clasped her hands together more tightly to keep herself from doing just that and kept a safe distance behind him, trying all the while to sort through the confusion.

Lightning flooded the room, causing the lights to flicker and the resounding boom of thunder had her crying out, unintentionally moving closer to Johnny.

Regardless of the confusion, there was one certainty that remained.

Johnny was safe.

"Sounds like it's just gettin' worse out there," he murmured, shrugging out of his leather jacket and tossing it over the arm of the couch. "You want somethin' to drink? Ain't go much. Water mostly."

Karina shook her head. Her gaze stayed fixed on his jacket.

"Hey-."

Johnny's hand closed around hers and she looked up, immediately lost in his warm gaze. "You alright?"

"I don't know," she admitted with an attempt at a smile.

"What's goin' on?"

She lifted a shoulder, trying to look nonchalant. Failing entirely, she knew.

Johnny gave her hand a gentle tug and started leading her out of the living room, towards one of the open doors in the hallway. The room he brought her into was very clearly his. A large bed buried in comfortable looking blankets was tucked in the corner, a dresser sitting against the wall across from it. A nightstand sat beside the bed, the cord of a pair of earbuds dangling off the side. The room was small, leaving little room for moving around but it was cozy - curtains drawn over the one window, band posters cluttering up one wall, a low table and small television sitting in a corner with a gaming console on the floor beside it. Her discomfort eased some and she felt some of the tension slide from her shoulders.

"I'll find a towel for ya. I can throw your shirt in the dryer for a bit, if you want?" he offered.

"That'd be nice. Thanks."

He nodded, then disappeared around the corner. Karina pulled off her sweater, shivering when the cold air hit her bare arms. The tank she wore was still remotely dry and hugged her form, trapping some of the heat from her body but not enough to keep her warm. She looked at her sweater for a moment, then used it like a towel to scrub some of the wetness from her hair.

It didn't do much more than make a tangled mess.

Johnny returned with a towel in his hand, stumbling to a stop when he saw her. His gaze raked over her body and she felt her cheeks warm instantly. The chaos that had ebbed momentarily, came crashing back and she lifted her shirt, trying to hide herself.

"I know. I look different," she muttered, her voice pitiful and edged with a faint bitterness.

"Not in a bad way," Johnny quickly reassured her. His hands were on hers then, gently prying her sweater from her hands. "I'm gonna go toss this in the dryer and then we're going to talk, alright?"

She nodded. There wasn't much else she could do. And talking suddenly appealed to her. The emotions, the constant noise jumbling up her mind was becoming nearly unbearable.

She went to his bed, flopping down on it with a frustrated sigh. She grabbed one thin blanket about to slip off the bed and pulled it up over her shoulders. Immediately Johnny's scent was around her - male, a hint of dark spice, comforting. She twisted a fist around the blanket, holding it to her face and breathing in deeply. It calmed her.

Johnny came back in with a towel, offering her a smile and joining her on the bed. He handed her the towel but gave her space, which seemed ridiculous to her. A half an hour ago she'd had a leg over his, her arms around his neck, her mouth moving over his.

Ridiculous...but she appreciated it. She could think a little more clearly without him so close.

"What are you thinking, Karina?"

She looked up at him, captured by the warmth of his deep golden eyes. Everything tumbled out of her.

"Too many things. My head is just...filled with all this confusing stuff that I don't understand. And it scares me," she finished in a near whisper. Johnny inched closer. She reached out, taking his hand.

"I was really limited to specific things like heartache, understanding, insane bursts of short lived euphoria. I was always holding her back, trying to show her love and compassion. Everything else was way out of my league. I could stand back and observe but feeling any of it...that wasn't who I was. Now that I _can_ feel all of it...it's really confusing. It's so strange to be able to feel _everything_. And I have no idea what to do with it all. Besides get a headache. And maybe...kiss you more."

Johnny grinned. "Can't really argue with that. Wouldn't that make things worse, though?"

"Not..um...not while it's happening." She could feel heat flaming her cheeks and huffed a frustrated sigh. "Okay...I'm really not good at this."

"I think you're better than you think you are."

"You're just saying that because you like me."

"You're right." He eliminated the space between them, reaching up and catching her chin between his fingertips. "I do like you. But that's not why I said it. When I started out with Moon, he had me playin' the piano. I hadn't done it since I was a kid and even then it was pretty basic. Ms. Crawley started givin' me lessons." He shook his head, smiling a little. "It was...embarassin' how bad I was. And she didn't hold punches either. I was bad and she agreed. Took me forever, days and weeks of feelin' so uncomfortable that I about walked out...but things finally started to click. I know that's not the best comparison-."

"It works," Karina reassured him with a smile.

His fingers drifted over her cheek, tucking a strand of damp hair away from her face. "Things'll start to click, Karina. Might take a while...but they will."

"Any idea how to speed the process along?" she asked, only half joking. The idea of getting to a place where her own emotions didn't confuse the hell out of her anymore certainly held a large amount of appeal.

"Maybe. What kinda things do you remember likin'?"

"I'm not really sure I...liked anything. Or was able to like anything. It was stuff she liked that brought her joy. Like dancing. Oh, and haunted houses, reading, sitting out in the middle of nowhere with a cup of coffee and just enjoying the silence, horseback riding-."

She stopped at the slightly horrified look on Johnny's face and couldn't help laughing. "Okay...so where I used to be...animals were animals. They didn't talk, or walk. They weren't active members in society. They were just...there. As pets, mostly."

"That's...yeah, I can't really wrap my head around that one," he mumbled.

"Horseback riding is probably out of the picture then, huh?"

The horrified look intensified and she laughed again, relieved that doing so came so easily. "I was kidding! Calm down. Jeez, if you think that's bad, I probably shouldn't tell you about how we would ea-."

"Stop!" he yelped, covering her mouth with his hand. "Just stop."

She did, but she was still smiling. Teasing felt so much better than mulling over everything that just confused her. He moved his hand, his fingers drifting over her cheekbone and her heart tripped.

"Gimme some time and I'll figure out a way to get...most of that...to happen," he vowed softly.

"Thank you" Karina whispered. "I want to tell you that you really don't need to do any of this…"

"But?" he prompted when she fell silent.

"But I know you would say 'I know' and do it anyway. And I'm just-." She drew a staggering breath, caught off guard by the sudden sting of tears and grasp his hand. "I'm glad I'm not facing this alone anymore."

She leaned up, intending only to give him a quick kiss of gratitude but instead, his arm came around her waist and he slowly deepened the kiss. His warmth drew her in and she wrapped her arms loosely around his neck, sliding her fingers through his hair and silently marveling over the silky texture of it.

Lust prowled restlessly, eager to gain control but there was something in the way he kissed her, a sweet innocence, that seemed to keep it in check. There was something more to the way he held her, the silent promise of safety, that lust couldn't touch.

His hand slipped away from her face to her shoulder and the blanket wrapped around her slid away, leaving her skin bare to his touch. In that one simple act, in the sudden feel of his rough fingertips over her shoulder, lust found an escape and screamed its way free before she could even understand what was happening. And as before, it was easy - giving herself up to the one thing that dominated every other emotion. It required no thought, just acting.

She twisted her body to fit herself more closely to him, moaned softly and deepened the kiss further, craving him in a way that was almost terrifying in its ferocity.

Johnny's fingers traced over her collarbone, to the strap of her tank top which had fallen aside slightly. She thought he would pull it down, maybe tear the clothing away entirely and leave nothing between them. Instead, his hand left her skin and he grabbed the blanket, wrapping it around her again before he pulled back, breathing heavily.

"What is it?" she asked, self conscious without the distraction of his mouth. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No!" He grasped her shoulders, kissing her quickly. He rested his forehead against hers and shook his head. "No, you didn't do anything wrong."

"Then why did you stop? Don't you want to-?"

This time he nodded, swallowing hard. "I do. But I'm not that kinda guy. I'm not gonna take advantage of you like that."

"Like that…" she repeated, her brows furrowing. "I don't understand."

He took her face between his hands. "I'm not gonna ignore what you're goin' through just to sleep with you. I'm not like that. I like you too much to do somethin' like that. Did you think-?"

He let the sentence hang. There was enough there, just under the surface, for her to understand that what little she knew of lust and what she'd witnessed may not have been entirely...accurate. Her stomach dropped as she was struck with a horrifying realization.

All she knew was what it looked like to be taken advantage of. She was used to watching someone get taken advantage of. Used to watching her get used up, to watching her give in without a fight. It never occurred to Karia that what happened between a man and a woman maybe wasn't supposed to be like that.

"We should get you somethin' to drink," Johnny suggested, watching her carefully. "You look like you're about to be sick."

Karina could only manage a nod because that's exactly how she felt. Her stomach turned and she forcefully pushed away images of what she could remember intimacy looking like.

No...not intimacy.

Intimacy was something passionate - full of trust and meaning. Something comforting.

Whatever she'd experienced before...that harshness and cruelty - that was something entirely different.

She held on tightly to Johnny's hand as he helped her up and lead her to a small kitchen separated from the living room by a counter. He took a bottle of water from the fridge, handed it to her, then went to the couch and let her sit first before sitting down next to her.

Karina twisted the top off the bottle and took a small sip, the cool rush of fluid easing the sick feeling from her throat. After a few more sips, she capped the bottle and set it aside. With a sigh, she dropped her head back against the couch. "I am really...really starting to hate the roller coaster feel of all of this. Amnesia actually doesn't sound too bad right about now."

Johnny gave her a sympathetic look. "I can't even begin to imagine. You gonna be alright?"

"Maybe. I just…" She turned her head to regard him skeptically. "Are you sure you want to help me through all of this?"

His took her hand. "Yeah, I'm sure. I'm not about to give up on ya just 'cuz you're learnin' how to be a person."

The way he said it brought a smile to her face. "Even if every time we kiss I get carried away too fast and throw myself at you?"

He thought about it for a minute. "Well, I guess we'll just have to keep workin' on that. I mean, if we gotta spend more time kissin' so I can help you learn how to control all the emotional stuff, I guess that's what I have to do."

Karina huffed a tiny laugh and leaned against him, snuggling into his side and wrapping her arm loosely around him. She could feel lust prowling again, anxious for release, and she fought it back, understanding a little bit better now how a simple touch under the right circumstances could provoke it. Understanding even better that a decent man who respected the woman he was with wouldn't seize the opportunity and have her flat on her back. A decent man would drape an arm over her shoulders, prop his feet up on the coffee table and turn on the television to check the weather.

The thunder rolled in continuous waves that were noticeable now that the hormones were starting to ebb. On the television, the weather switched to the local news, a running marquee along the bottom keeping the general public up to date on the subsiding threat of the storm. Johnny turned the volume down before tossing the remote on the coffee table. He shifted to the side, allowing her a chance to lay more fully against him. He laced his fingers through hers and started running his thumb lazily over her knuckles. Pleasure and relaxation furled through her like fog sliding off a lake.

In the stillness, she could take the opportunity to look back on the past several hours and try rationalizing everything that had happened. Not that there would be a whole lot of rationalizing. Johnny had explained it so perfectly - she was learning how to be a person. As simple as the statement was, the implication implied confusion. She knew she couldn't run from facing everything anymore. She had to face it, to go through the maelstrom of emotions she was now responsible for, and figure out how exactly she was supposed to use them, all the while wishing it was much easier than it probably would be.

With a small, frustrated sigh, she snuggled closer to Johnny and shut the questioning voices down. She'd had enough of them for one day.

After a while, the sound of rain drumming relentlessly against the roof slowed.

"Nana's not gonna get mad at you for comin' home late again, is she?" Johnny asked.

Karina shrugged, not really knowing whether or not Nana was even aware that she'd been home as late as she had the night before. "I don't know. She didn't say anything about last night. I should probably get home, though."

Johnny hummed his agreement but made no move to get up. He lifted her hand and studied it with a bemused smile, turning it one way, and then another.

Karina watched him without speaking until she felt a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "What?"

"Nothin'. I just…"

"Just what?" she asked, sitting up.

"You're just so different. Not in a bad way," he added quickly. "Interesting."

"Interesting," she repeated, her brows furrowing and that smile tugging even harder.

"Mhmm." He lifted his gaze from her hands to her face. His eyes were a warm shade of brown, flecks of amber turning them a deep honey color that she found herself captured by again. "Extremely interesting." His hand released hers, moved to her face and traced the curve of her chin. "Incredible."

Her breath caught when his thumb brushed her bottom lip.

"Think I can pull this off without startin' anything?"

"Maybe," she replied breathlessly. "Possibly."

"What happened last time that…" he stopped and nodded a bit, hinting at the last time they'd kissed without saying anything more.

"Your hand," she managed to explain, leaning closer to him. "On my skin. That seemed to do it."

"Well, we can't have that."

And suddenly he was up, leaving her and disappearing down the hallway. Karina blinked and frowned. "I...um...okay-."

He returned, her sweater in hand and she laughed a little, standing and taking it from him with a quiet "thank you."

"Might help," he offered as an explanation.

She pulled it on over her head, humming softly as she was suddenly cocooned in warmth. It was a delicious feeling, wearing clothes right out of the dryer. She savored it, lifting her hands to her face and inhaling the lingering scent of the dryer clinging to the fabric.

"New experience?" Johnny asked with a grin.

She nodded, hunching her shoulders in an attempt to absorb more of the heat. "This is amazing. Nana has people to do the laundry so it's always folded or hung up in the closet. I might have to start doing my own laundry."

Johnny's hands went to her hips and he pulled her close, one arm going around her waist. "There you go again," he murmured. "Bein' all interesting."

She dropped her hands, laying them against his chest. "Is that a bad thing?"

"Nah."

He closed what little distance there was between them, his mouth finding hers as one hand lifted between them and held her hands where they were. Karina remained very still, having little faith in her ability to hold back. But that tenderness from earlier was there, that quiet security that refused to let a baser lust control the moment. Karina melted against him with a sigh, trusting him.

He pulled away slowly, leaving her with two brief kisses and dragged in a ragged breath.

"Hey, look at that. We pulled it off."

Smiling, Karina buried her face against his chest, releasing a pleased hum when he hugged her tightly. She wanted to stay like that for the rest of the night, but with the storm passing over, there was a good chance Nana would be worried about her and wondering where she was.

"Gotta get you home, don't I?"

Karina nodded. "Yeah."

Though they both knew it had to happen, Johnny didn't seem to eager to get her there. He walked her slowly to the truck, helped her in and drove below the speed limit across town. At Nana's he walked with her to the door, holding her hand even after they'd stopped on the back stoop under the glow of the single light overhead.

"So," he started, turning to her.

Karina stepped into his arms. She didn't want to leave him, to go inside and lay alone in bed wishing she was still with him. His hand swept over her hair, his mouth pressed against her temple and she closed her eyes against the hot sting of tears.

 _This is why she wanted to get rid of you...you're a wreck._

"Karina-," Johnny said softly, moving away enough so that he could see her. She tried to hide her face, but he was having none of that. He caught her chin and tilted her head up. "What is it?"

She drew in an unsteady breath, swiping at the tears on her cheek with the back of her hand. "I want to go upstairs, go to bed and just...wake up feeling so much better about all of this. I wish it was that easy. I've been outrunning all of this from the moment I woke up in the hospital, trying to hide what happened to me from everyone. Even myself. And now I can't...it all caught up to me and there's nowhere else to run. What if I go upstairs and...and wake up and the light is out again? Or what if it isn't even enough?"

Johnny pulled her back to him, rubbing a comforting hand up and down her back. She wanted to be comforted, wanted to feel the peace he always gave her that was suddenly eluding her. Instead, she felt miserable and terrified to let him leave.

"Hang on just a sec, okay?" Johnny said, letting her go. "I'll be right back."

He took off down the walk and went to his truck, turning it off then started back to her, dropping his keys in his jacket pocket.

"What are you doing?" Karina asked once he was close enough to hear her without her raising her voice.

"After everything you've been through, I'm not leaving you alone tonight. It wouldn't be right."

"What? Johnny-."

"This is the part where you tell me I don't have to and I say I know and do it anyway," he said with a wink, taking her hand and grabbing the door handle. He opened it before she could say anything more, peering around the heavy wood and then leading her inside. "Your room's upstairs?" he whispered.

Karina nodded. "This way," she said, moving in front of him. She wasn't going to argue with him. She didn't want to in the slightest.

They crept through the silent house together and managed to make it up to her room without anyone seeing them. Karina knew some of the staff wandered the halls in the evening. She'd heard their muted footsteps pass her door on nights when she was having trouble sleeping.

Once they were in her room, she locked the door. The lamp was on, bathing the meticulously made bed in light. Her clothing that she had left on the chair in a heap was gone, probably carried off by the same person who had made her bed. Unlike Johnny's room, hers was so large that it felt almost unwelcome compared to his. It was too clean, too put together.

"Nice place," Johnny murmured as he looked around in slight awe.

"I guess. I think your room was a lot more comfortable." She went to the wardrobe, pulling out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt she deemed safe enough to wear around him. "I'm going to go change quick. I'll be right back."

He acknowledged her words with a brief nod, still looking around and she slipped into the adjoining bathroom, swapping her clothes for the shorts and t-shirt before checking her reflection. It was the first time she'd gotten a good look at herself after what had happened at the theater and she instantly regretted it. She looked about as wreck-like as she felt, her hair hanging in lifeless waves around a too-pale face where eyes red from crying stared despondently back at her.

"Officially at a loss here for what he sees in me," she muttered, leaning forward and pressing her fingertips against her cheeks. "I miss makeup so much right now."

She ran a brush through her hair, intent on at least taming the tangled mess. Anything beyond that, she gave up on with a disgusted sigh, making a face at her reflection before leaving the bathroom.

Johnny was standing at the window, staring out at the empty street below. When she closed the door, the small click of the latch breaking the silence, he looked to her. Karina felt heat creep into her cheeks as his gaze swept over her.

 _Maybe I would have been better off with a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt,_ she thought, pulling nervously at the hem of her shorts.

"I ahh...set my phone to go off pretty early," he said. "Maybe I can get outta here without anyone noticin' right at sun up."

"You'd probably be better off going right out the front door," Karina said as she walked to the bed and started pulling the sheets free, well aware of his gaze following her. "Most of the staff that's up that early sticks to the kitchen until Nana gets up. And that's not usually until around eight."

She climbed into the bed and watched Johnny shrug out of his jacket, tossing it on the wing-back chair by the window. He kicked his shoes off next, then joined her in bed fully clothed.

"Probably should have asked if you'd actually want me to stay, huh?" he said after they'd sat in silence for several minutes. "Do you?"

Karina leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I do. I don't think I'd be able to sleep otherwise. And I know that sounds kind of selfish and insecure but...you make me feel really safe and I don't want that feeling to go away."

"And you like me just a bit," he tacked on with a grin in his voice.

Karina looked up at him, placing a hand against the side of his face. "I like you a lot. And not just because you make me feel safe."

"I like you a lot too," he murmured, resting his forehead against hers.

Karina kissed him once, a simple, lingering peck that was innocent enough not to provoke something more. Johnny's hand cupped her face, his thumb tracing lazily over her cheekbone. "Get some sleep. I'll wake ya up before I leave in the morning."

She nodded. Now that she was in bed, exhaustion was tugging at her. Karina yawned and laid down, smiling when Johnny's arm came around her and pulled her up against him. She took his hand, slid her fingers through his. "Goodnight, Johnny."

"Night Karina. Sleep well."

With him right there, holding her tight, she knew she would be able to do just that.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: I'm beyond sorry, guys. Really, I am. I didn't want to give anyone the impression that I'd lost my mojo on this fic or that I'd abandoned it. I haven't. Not by a long shot. My ability to write latley has just tanked, however. I'm slowly picking myself off and getting back into the groove but it's taken a while. So, I'm truly sorry for the wait but I sure hope you all think it's worth it. I missed writing these guys and have to get back into the groove! Hope you enjoy the latest installment and hopefully I wont take nearly as long next time. ;)

 **Chapter Ten**

The sound of his phone chirping woke Johnny slowly. He groaned and reached for it, his brows furrowing when his hand didn't hit the bedside table like it usually did.

He opened his eyes, confused even more by the warm glow of early morning sunlight spilling through a window that was way too big to be in his bedroom.

A soft sigh to his right caught his attention and he looked down to see Karina curled up against him, her arm over his chest, and her hair spilling over his arm and shoulder.

His phone chirped again. Dragging his gaze away from the girl at his side and he felt around to the left until he found it half under the pillow.

 _Musta missed it goin' off the first time,_ he thought, seeing that it was going off at the usual time he had it set to go off at...a good hour after he had originally set it. He silenced it, turning the alarm off, and dropped his phone. He could probably spare, at the very most, ten more minutes.

 _Then again,_ he thought, running his fingers down her arm and marveling at the silken texture of her skin, _would it be that bad to get caught?_

Laying beside Karina, soaking in her warmth and feeling more at peace than he could ever remember feeling, he didn't want to leave. He wanted to stay with her, learn more about her, figure her out while _she_ was figuring her out. A morning spent like that was far more appealing than getting under the hood of some old junker and listening to Barry drone on about things he never paid attention to.

He moved his hand from her arm to her hair. The mass slid through his fingers, catching a little before falling back against her shoulder.

 _I could just stay. Screw goin' to work._

 _...I don't want to leave her._

The thought didn't catch him entirely off guard. He was honest enough with himself to realize that he was looking for ways to be with her away from everyone else since he'd met her. But the ferocity behind the thought was unexpected.

Karina stirred against him, making a small noise and he grinned.

"You awake?"

Her brow furrowed and she opened her eyes. The initial sleepy confusion clouding her eyes ebbed when she glanced up, her gaze meeting his. "Johnny-."

"Mornin' beautiful."

A tiny smile lit up her face and she closed her eyes again, nuzzling against him. "What time is it?"

"About six." He moved his hand back to her shoulder and kissed the top of her head. "Should probably get going soon."

"Even half awake, it doesn't sound like you're convinced that you should be doing that."

"Nah. Would rather stay here with you all day. Does the butler do any kinda room service?"

Karina laughed, levering herself up on her elbow. She watched him for a moment, tilting her head slightly to the side. "Did I wake up at all?"

"Besides right now?" Johnny shook his head. "Ya hardly moved."

"Really?"

He tried to remember if she'd moved but he'd honestly been so exhausted and so comforted by her warmth that he'd probably slept just as hard. "If you did, I didn't notice."

"Then that...has been the best night of sleep I've gotten since I showed up here." She dropped back down, snuggling against him and he turned, sliding an arm around her waist and her smaller arm found its way around his. At the rate he was going, he'd never get out of the house without being noticed. And he couldn't find it in him to care even a little bit.

"You feelin' any better today?" he asked.

"I feel…rested. Too early to feel more than anything else."

Her words sparked an idea and he caught her chin between his thumb and finger, coaxing her to look up. When she did, he ducked his head and kissed her - brushing his mouth slowly over hers and savoring the softness of her lips as much as he savored the feel of her shifting her weight to settle more against him, her leg sliding over his.

"How about now?" he asked, pulling away only far enough to speak, grinning when he saw the way her cheeks flushed and watched her eyes flutter open slowly. "That change things at all?"

Her smile was slow and seductive, making him think a million different things he probably shouldn't have been thinking when lying in bed with a beautiful woman and knowing his time was quickly running out.

"Maybe a little," she murmured.

He dug his fingers lightly into her side, drawing a startled giggle from her and causing her to squirm which he quickly realized was a horrible idea. Her leg twisted through his and she pressed her body firmly against his, trying to eliminate his ability to reach any more sensitive areas.

He stopped tickling her and hugged her close, burying his face against her mass of hair. Her body stilled. She made a small humming sound and relaxed, her arm going back around his waist. They stayed like that, content and silent, a clock somewhere in the room ticking away their time.

"Should get going," Johnny finally said.

Karina sighed. "I guess. You'll be back to pick me up after lunch?"

He nodded and propped himself up on an elbow. Karina's hair was spilled over the pillow, her bright eyes fixed on him, a hint of a smile curving her lips. He bent and kissed them slowly, dragging the few moments that he had out just a little longer before pulling away and getting out of the bed, making an honest effort to get scarce before a maid burst through the door. Or worse - Nana. Though he could hardly picture the elderly woman bursting through much of anything.

Once his shoes were on, he grabbed his jacket and shrugged it on, turning back to the bed as he did. Karina had already fallen back to sleep. He went to her, smiling down at the gorgeous creature that had captured him entirely. Leaning over, he brushed a kiss against her forehead. "See you later, beautiful."

She was too far gone to hear him. Her hand twitched ever so slightly against the pillow but it was quite clear that sleep held her closer than he could right now.

Reluctantly, he left the room and made his way quietly downstairs, watching for any signs of movement. The house seemed quiet enough but he had no idea how houses like this worked. How sneaky could a penguin butler be? Or a maid? He'd never had them. He had movie references and vague ones at best.

At the landing he stalled, holding his breath and listening. Several seconds ticked by, each one marked by the grandfather clock in the wide entrance he'd have to make it across without getting spotted. Confident that he was alone, he started for the door.

"Good morning, Jonathan."

Every foul word he knew ran through his head but he managed not to say any, going still instead as cold dread washed over him. Slowly, he turned to the voice and there sat Nana, all prim and proper in some kind of informal sitting room, a tea cup in her hand and a knowing grin fixed on her face.

"It is Jonathan, isn't it?"

Though he was the son of a criminal, he had manners and knew exactly how to use them. He rubbed his neck self consciously. "Yes ma'am. I go by Johnny, though."

She hummed, then gestured to the empty seat across from her. "Tea?"

It was a trap. It had to be. She looked too calm, was acting a little too kind. He took a hesitant step back, panic making it difficult to decide on a best course of action. "I'm ah...more of a coffee drinker, thanks," he half lied.

"That wasn't a question. Sit Jonathan."

The command was kind but clipped, her refusal to use his shortened name sending up a red flag. She raised a hoof in the direction of the empty seat beside her. With one last, longing look at the door, he started for the table.

"Robert, coffee for our guest, please."

The butler, a stout penguin with an expression of permanent boredom, stepped out from behind the door, startling Johnny, nodded to Nana and waddled off.

Johnny watched him for a moment, wishing he could do the same, then sat down. The chair was a little too small for his bulk and uncomfortable, but he managed, splaying his hands over his knees for added support. He couldn't make himself look at Nana. But he could feel her gaze boring into him, the weight of it reminiscent of his fathers.

"I believe it is safe to assume that you did not recently arrive?"

Johnny swallowed hard. ""No, ma'am."

"Would also be safe to assume that you spent the night with Karina?"

Fis face warmed immediately. Her shrewd gaze gained a good twenty pounds. "Yes, ma'am. But we didn't-."

"What you did or didn't do is none of my concern, Jonathan. Your both adults."

He did look at her then, surprised to see a ghost of a smile on her face. "Last night was the first night since I brought Karina here that went uninterpreted. She is a very fitful sleeper."

Robert returned wight a tray carrying a pot of hot water and a decent looking mug of coffee. Johnny had expected something dainty and floral, much like Nana's teacup. Although the coffee smelled far stronger than anything he'd ever brewed, the cup wasn't dainty. Something about that consideration put him at ease. Just a bit.

"She told me about the nightmares," he said as Robert refilled Nana's tea.

"Hm, the ones she remembers."

Something flashed in Robert's eyes. No amount of composure could hide it. It was dark and sympathetic. It said the butler knew very well what Nana was talking about. "The ones she remembers?"

Nana waved Robert away impatiently before taking a sip of her tea and returning the cup to its matching platter. The scalloped edges were lined with gold. Johnny was willing to bet the plate alone was worth more than every piece of chipped flatware his father had managed to accumulate over the years.

"Most of the nightmares she can easily remember. She does not, however, know that they are a nightly occurrence. The guilt she feels over those she knows of is quite overwhelming to her. The staff has been instructed not to inform her or even speak of the one's she is not aware of."

Johnny set his cup down after taking a tentative sip, finding the coffee almost unpleasantly strong. "Is there a difference?" he asked.

Her gaze was direct. There was no escaping it or the truth of what she was about to tell him. But he had known there was no escaping any of this since the moment he first had Karina in his arms.

"Yes, quite. The nightmares she knows nothing about are...extreme enough to the point that mild sedatives have been needed at times."

Disbelief and anger were suddenly at war within him. They'd sedated Karina without her knowledge. They could have hurt her. Or far worse. It was that far worse that had him latching onto anger instead of fear. "You drugged her?" he managed in a voice unsteady from the rage slowly building.

Nana's reaction had him checking himself immediately. The woman had a way of making people feel emotionally unbalanced, that was for damn sure. She didn't rush to appease him or backtrack. Instead, one wooly brow lifted and a knowing grin pulled at the corner of her mouth. "I assure you, Jonathan, nothing used could cause her harm. It was always used to keep her safe. I'm glad to know the level of sincerity to your feelings for Karina, however."

"I...well...I just...she-."

"Is quite amazing, I know. It warms my heart to see that I'm not the only one who thinks so." She tilted her head, dropping her contemplative gaze to the tea cup in front of her. "I believe it is safe to say that she need someone like you in her life."

"You think she needs the son of a convict in her life?"

He winced at the note of bitterness in his voice, hating that it gave away so much about him. He didn't have to answer to anyone for his father's actions, especially not this woman. So why did he feel a need to point out that specific fault? Maybe to point out that her judgement was flawed? To make himself believe he wasn't worthy of her trust?

 _All of the above,_ he thought sourly.

"I think she needs people who care about who she is and not what she is. Your father's decisions do not change the fact that you care for her…do they?"

"No."

"Your father's mistakes are not your mistakes, young man. You may want to make a habit out of telling yourself that often. Or, at least until you believe it."

He couldn't find it in him to answer her in any way. She had a point and had thrown it in his face without hesitation. He stared into his coffee cup, looking for any answers or at least some stability in the strong brew. He had run the gamut on emotions from the moment he woke up and was starting to feel it about as much as he was feeling the gnaw of hunger in his stomach.

A light hum called his attention and he sighed, dropping his head and giving up completely.

Karina entered the room. She was still in the clothing she'd worn to bed and was securing her hair in a strategic mess high on the back of her head.

"Morning Nana. I smelled coffee and-."

She stumbled to a stop just as her words did, staring at him wide-eyed. Johnny shrugged, mouthing the word, "sorry" and wishing there was something more he could do...like find the nearest time machine, go back to 5 a.m. and _not_ ignore his alarm.

"Good morning, dear," Nana returned pleasantly. "Care to join us?"

She looked back and forth between the two, unmoving, looking like she'd rather book it for the door. He could sympathise entirely.

"I'm sorry, Karina," he said aloud. "I didn't mean-."

"O, for heaven's sakes," Nana interrupted, "Neither of you are in trouble. Karina, have a seat and some coffee. Breakfast should be along shortly. There will be more than enough for all of us."

Johnny made one last effort to argue with her before giving up entirely. "I should really get back to the garage."

Nana gave him a pointed look. "You'll stay." She settled herself primly in her seat, unnecessarily adjusting her flowing gown as Karinna took a seat next to Johnny, sharing a shy look with him and glancing down at his coffee. Without a word, he nudged it over to her and caught the upward tilt of her lips before she lifted it and took a sip.

"Now...as I was telling Jonathan before you joined us, you are both adults. This sneaking around for my benefit certainly isn't necessary. Though, I rather do miss catching my children in the act of sneaking around. There is nothing I enjoyed more than making sure they understood just how little they could get by me. My personal enjoyment aside, you two have nothing to hide. I would be a fool, after such a peaceful night, to deny the benefits of Jonathan being in your company, Karina."

Karina's cheeks flared with color and Johnny shifted uncomfortably, his body reacting automatically to the image that sentence evoked.

"Johnathan, should you end up staying overnight, it is not something I would oppose. And should Karina choose to stay at your home at any given time, all I would require is for her to let me know that she's safe so that I do not spend the evening worrying over her wellbeing. Limiting you, Karina, and not allowing you a life past these walls, was never my intention. Whatever way you can find freedom and happiness, please know I would never stand in the way of that."

She paused as Robert entered the room, carrying a tray laden with an assortment of fruits in bowls, fruits wrapped in extremely thin pancakes topped with whipped cream, three types of syrup, a dish of creamer and another mug of coffee that he set in front of him after seeing that he'd given his to Karina.

Johnny stared at it all dumbfounded as Robert placed a platter of the wrapped pancakes in front of each of them.

To think, he'd planned on a dry piece of cinnamon toast and a Mountain Dew.

He watched Karina use her fork to cut off a small piece of the pancake and daintily put it in her mouth. He did the same and nearly groaned from the decadent flavors that exploded on his tongue.

If this was the treatment he'd gain from being an unexpected guest, he'd make as much of a habit out of it as possible, he thought as he eagerly shoveled another forkful into his mouth.

"Would you like a menu to plan accordingly?" Nana asked, grinning at him.

Johnny swallowed, shooting an uncertain look at Karina.

"I'd break a million laws if they stood in the way of me and these crepes," she said with a smile.

"But you wouldn't be breaking any laws," Nana pointed out. "In fact, having the company is rather welcome. If I recall correctly, you participated in the show Mr. Moon organized last year?"

The sudden change of subject caught him off guard but he switched gears just as quickly, glad to be off the subject he and Karina spending the night together. "Yes, ma'am," he said with a nod.

"You played the piano, if I recall correctly. You have quite an amazing voice. Do you intend to perform again?"

"Not really sure, to be honest. Been goin' in and practicing every day. Mrs. Crawley's been nice enough to keep offerin' me piano lessons but I haven't taken Mr. Moon up on any of his offers."

"Whyever not? Seems such a waste with talent like yours."

Johnny shrugged. He'd questioned himself on that numerous times, never quite able to find the answer. He wanted to be a singer more than anything, but some clouded uncertainty held him back. He didn't have a name for it, couldn't quite understand why it was there. The only thing he knew was that it stood firmly in the way of the direction he was supposed to be taking.

"Well, I for one truly look forward to seeing you perform again. There is such quality and honesty in your voice. Too much to be hiding away."

"Thanks," he murmured, his face heating from the praise.

Nana relented with a knowing gleam in her eyes and turned her attention to Karina, striking up a conversation about mundane things like the weather, the book they'd been reading and small details regarding the theater. Johnny was content to eat his meal in silence and listen to the easy flow of their voices.

He found a comfort in the smooth feminine quality of their voices that was entirely foreign to him. He had never known his mother and the loss of her was something her father had refused to replace. Conversations in the garage revolved around gant activity - nothing more. This conversation was light, edged in humor and genuine interest. He wanted his morning to start like this. Always.

Well, minus the confrontation piece. That he could do without.

The plates were cleared away a while later and Johnny was thanking Robert for the refill on his coffee when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

He slid it free, starting slightly when he saw how much time had passed and that Barry was trying to call him.

"I ah...I'm sorry but I should probably get goin'. Barry's at the shop 'n I've got it locked up."

"Oh, of course," Nana waved him off.

"Thanks for breakfast. It was really great."

"Thank you for staying," she returned with a wink. "Karina, be a dear and see our guest out?"

After daintily dabbing at her mouth with the napkin and setting it aside, Karina pushed away from the table and joined him in walking to the back door. He made no attempt to talk, conscious of the constant hum of activity around them, but reached for her hand, threading his fingers through hers and sharing a shy look of tenderness.

When they were outside and the door was shut, he turned to her just in time to catch her as she threw her arms around his neck and silenced anything he was about to say with her lips.

"That was surreal," she murmured against his mouth.

He hummed his agreement and tilted his head, deepening the kiss, tightening his arms around her and soaking in her floral warmth. When the kiss started edging on something less controllable, he backed away, resting his forehead against hers and grinning.

"I'm glad she caught you," she said softly. "I don't want you to be one more thing I have to hide."

Karina let her hands fall and he caught them, twining his fingers through her. He hadn't even thought of about the significance of having to hide their relationship. To him, it would have just been something they did out of the developing habit to stay out late.

To her, it meant so much more.

Feeling impulsive, he gave her hands a squeeze. "I want to tell my dad about you."

"You...you do?"

"Yeah. I do. He wouldn't do anything to hurt you." He paused to smile ruefully. "Not that he could, bein' in prison an' all."

"How would you explain me? I can't go in there. I mean, I'd like to meet your dad but I'm sure security would have a few questions."

"Well...what if I took a picture?"

Her smile turned slightly shy, a delicate blush blossoming over her cheekbones. "Of us?"

"Yeah. Is that okay?"

"Only if you send a copy of it to me."

Johnny grinned, fishing his phone out of his pocket. "Deal." He thumbed through the apps and selected the camera icon, then flipped the screen. "There, now just-."

Before he could finish the sentence, she snuggled up to him, resting her head against his chest. "How's that?"

It would have been just fine, had he not gotten the distinct impression that her efforts were to show his father that she was protected by his son.

"Hang on." He shifted her in front of him, wrapping an arm around her waist where it wouldn't show in the picture and yet offered her security. She settled against him, letting her head fall back against his shoulder and he pressed a kiss to her temple. "He wouldn't hurt you. Even if he wanted to, which he wouldn't...I wouldn't let him."

She looked up at him, a million doubts swimming in her stormy blue eyes. "I wouldn't let anything hurt you. Not if I can help it."

She lifted a hand, pressing it to the side of his face, then raised up on her tiptoes to capture his mouth with hers. "I'm so glad I met you."

"Same." He bumped her nose with his. "Smile like you're not scared out of your mind by that."

He snapped another picture, pleased to see that they both looked more mure natural and genuinely happy.

"When are you going to see your dad?"

"Closer to noon. Barry can handle the place on his own for a while and visiting hours cut off at 11:30. Want me to pick something up for you?"

"Coffee?" she requested, her grin sheepish.

Johnny laughed. "Yeah, after gettin' a taste of that stuff myself, I'd miss regular stuff too." He leaned down and kissed her, moving his mouth languidly over hers, savoring the few minutes he had left before his phone buzzed impatiently again. "Okay, I gotta go or I'm gonna spend my morning listenin' to him complain about my lack of responsibility. I'll see you later."

"Absolutely."

She stood on the back stoop until he was in his truck and had it started, offering one last wave before disappearing back inside.

He made it to the garage just as Barry was starting to lose his patience and immediately found a project to immerse himself in to pass the time - a complicated foreign car with a bad catalytic converter. That left Barry to the standard water pump replacement that allowed him the opportunity to perform standard level repair work while railing on Johnny for making him wait. Had he not spent a majority of his morning with Karina, he might have actually argued with the shorter man. Instead, he let him say his piece, ignoring him entirely and remaining focused on his job. Closer to ten, he stopped into the small, cluttered office off the garage and used the printer to print off the picture of himself and Karina. He folded it carefully, slipping it into his back pocket before locking the computer up and jogging to the truck.

"You able to lock up for me?" he asked Barry as he passed.  
Barry grumbled, scowling at him. "Guess so. You actually gonna be on time tomorrow?"

"I will, mate. Promise. Thanks for helpin' me keep this place runnin'!"

Before Barry could mumble another comment under his breath, Johnny hopped in the truck and took off, anxious to see his father.

The line for visitors was short to the verge of depressing. But Thursday's were usually like this. Only he and about three other people made it a point to show up regularly to visit loved ones. The rest were faces that would leave no impressions and may or may not show up two or three weeks down the line.

He tried not to look as impatient as he felt as he went through the standard check in, dropping his keys and phone into a bin and subjecting himself to a quick pat-down after passing through the metal detector. He was starting to wonder if a day would come where instead of getting patted down, he'd get an uninterested wave but there might be some kind of job-related retribution for not following protocol.

There was another ten minutes wait as the prisoners filled into the small room lined with cages where eight tables sat for families to sit around. Finally, a loud buzz sounded and he and the other visitors were ushered into the room by guards flanking the doorway.

His father was at the table closest to the window. When he saw Johnny, he smiled broadly and stood, opening his arms to invite him into a hug. Johnny stepped into them, feeling a steadiness there, a security that he ached for in the days following his father's imprisonment. With Karina around, it wasn't nearly as bad but he wouldn't ever deny that he missed his father terribly.

"How's life, my son?" his father asked after they'd taken up spots across the table from one another. "The shop still runnin' okay?"

"Oh, yeah yeah...shop's runnin' great, dad. Barry's been helpin' out a lot. Closes up the place for me when I'm at the theater."

"And how's that goin'? Ain't heard much from you about singin'. Damn lawyers been takin' up all our time with all that legal stuff."

Johnny grinned. "You mean, that legal stuff that's gonna get you outta here sooner?"

"Yeah," his father said, rolling his eyes a bit. "That. But we're not talkin' about that today. How's the sigin'?"

Johnny reached behind him and took the picture from his pocket. He held it in front of him, fingering a corner of the folded paper nervously. "That's been...that's been really good, actually. I ahh...I met somebody."

"Ohh yeah? Met a girl, did ya?"  
"Yeah...I did actually. But she's...um, she's not really...like anyone I've ever met before." Taking a deep breath, he unfolded the paper, placed it on the table and smoothed a hand over it before sliding it across the table to him. "Her name's Karina."

His father gave him a confused look before reaching for the picture and dropping his gaze. For several seconds, he just sat there, staring down at the picture of Karina and himself. And then, something entirely unexpected happened. His father lifted a hand to his mouth, covering it. His eyes were suddenly bright with tears and haunted in a way that scared Johnny.

"Dad?"

His father closed his eyes tightly. His wide shoulders trembled.

"Dad, what is it? I know she's different but-."

His father shook his head and tapped the picture with his index finger before saying in a voice hoarse with emotion, "She's just like your ma."


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: That may have been the best cliffhanger I've EVER written. :D So you all want explanations now, right? Deal. Thank you to those of you who reviewed. I truly truly appreciate your feedback and value my readers so very much. And thank you all for sticking with me! I know it's taken some time to update and honestly, had I just cranked out chapter after chapter, this wouldn't have happened. Sometimes my ideas come to me after like months of loathing my writing skills all together.

 **Chapter Eleven**

Seeing the picture was a jarring shock that came on with an uncaring ferocity. Suffocation came with it, constricting his throat, making breathing a near painful experience. It had been years since Donovan had felt that kind of heart wrenching agony. He thought it was buried away under the thick layers of a criminal persona he'd built up to hide it away.

All it took was one image thrown in his face and those carefully erected walls were shattered.

"What do you mean, she's just like mom?"

Johnny's voice sounded far off - like it was coming through a tunnel.

With shaking fingers, Donovan traced the curve of the young woman's jaw, seeing liquid brown instead of stormy gray, straight falls of midnight instead of wavy blonde.

"Dad?"

Donovan jerked his head up and immediately saw a guard's narrowed gaze fixed on them. Trying to appear calm when he felt nowhere near, he folded the picture and handed it back to Johnny. "Put that back in your pocket. Don't show _anyone._ "

"I wasn't going to. I just wanted _you_ to know about her. Dad, what-."

"I'll tell you everything I can. Just, put that away first."

Johnny frowned, but did as he was told.

Donovan made a pitiful attempt to steady himself. In the back of his mind, free from the box he'd locked them in, memories floated along on a beautiful swell of flawless alto.

Her voice.

"That mom of yours," he started, emotion roughening his voice, "she could sing. Probaby where ya got it from. Didn't hear that voice of hers until weeks after I'd found her…"

 _27 years back…._

"This place used to be nothin'. Just some dive bar off the grid. But I guess they got this show now that's drawin' guys in from all around. 'Ol Bruce ain't doin' too bad for himself, now."

Donovan hummed a response from the back seat of the extended cab truck, watching the scenery pass by as Mick cruised the highway five miles over the speed limit. He wasn't particularly interested in anything Mick had to say regarding Bruce. Bruce and Mick traveled in circles Donovan did his best to avoid when possible. The circles that involved the using of drugs, trafficking of drugs, prostitution and wide-scale organized crime.

The only reason he tolerated Mick was that Mick was family.

In the last week, Mick had lost his mother. Her sister, Donovan's mother, had asked Donovan to keep an eye on Mick for a while to make sure he was okay.

He was three days into "a while" and wished he'd never heard of Mick. The other man had propositioned him several times to join up with their gang, trying to tempt him with offers of women, money and a lifetime of protection. Donovan didn't want any of it and he sure as hell didn't want to live a life that would require any amount of protection.

Not wanting what Mick was offering wasn't enough to keep Donovan from being collateral damage.

At that moment he was stuck in the backseat with his friend Barry, his cousin Tony taking up shotgun while Mick drove them to some dive-bar-turned-nightclub on the outskirts of the city. He hadn't wanted to go with but his mother had begged him to, asking him to make sure that nothing Mick was involved in would land him in an early grave.

They pulled into a parking lot jammed full of cars and Mick made a parking spot on the grass. "Alright, boys. Let's go see what everyone's talkin' about."

Donovan bit back a groan and followed the group towards the steady thump of bass. Men stood scattered outside the entrance, smoking. Mick nodded to a large rhino with an eye patch who gazed suspiciously at the rest of the group before nodding. "Mick."

"How's your evening been, Sid?"

Sid leered. "'Bout to get a whole lot better. You here for the show?"

"Hell yeah. Finally got a chance to make it out."

"You're in for a real treat, man. Ain't nothin' like it. Who're your friends?"

Sid took a step to the side and gestured to them. "Couple of my boys. Barry's a friend of the family and these are my cousins Tony and Donovan. Don here's a bit green."

Fighting back a sneer, Donovan inclined his head. He hated it when Mick shortened his name like that almost as much as he hated how Mick called him "green" like it was some kind of character flaw that was impossible to overlook.

The rhino looked him over, a gleam in his eye that Donovan didn't trust at all. "You gonna break him in?"

"Think Bruce'll let me?"

"Guy his size? Bruce ought to see the value in that."

"Kid's smart, too. Straight A nerd all through high school and had a bunch of free rides thrown at him by swanky ass colleges but turned 'em down to take care of my aunt."

Donovan hated the way they were talking around him like he wasn't standing right there but he forced his features to remain impassive. He just needed to make it through this evening, keep Mick alive and make sure the idiot hadn't backed himself into any corners. Then he'd go home, tell his mom he loved her but wouldn't be babysitting Mick anymore.

"Go on in. Mick's table is on the left of the stage. You'll know it when you see it. Enjoy, boys."

The club was dark, rank with the scent of booze, smoke and sweat. At one end, tucked under an overhang, was a massive bar manned by a moose and two water buffalo who were in constant motion, mixing drinks and handing them to customers at the bar or filling the trays of wait staff.

At the other end was a stage with a wide runway that jutted out into a sea of tables filled with men. Some talked, others greedily watched the dancers gyrating on stage.

Dancers received no payment of tips here. Mick had given them every lurid detail on the way there. Instead of tips, dancers were sold to the highest bidder and disappeared into rooms behind the bar. Mick had bragged about the operation - how the bar earned more that way, how it brought in the men with serious money, not just the ones looking to get their rocks off, how the percent the dancers would receive was far more than they would collect in tips.

" _They know who's loaded and how to keep Bruce happy,"_ he'd said.

Bruce himself, a rough looking grizzly in gold and expensive looking leather, was holding court at the table Sid said he would be at, three other grizzlies around him. Seated beside him was a wolverine. He leaned close to Bruce, casting anxious glances at the stage.

As their group approached the table, the wolverine sat back, scowling, while Bruce offered them a wide grin.

"Mick, you finally made it," he said in a heavily accented voice. His gaze cut to Donovan. "I don't recognize this one."

Mick elbowed Donovan forward. "My cousin, Donovan."

Bruce gave him a critical once over that made his stomach twist uncomfortably. He didn't like Bruce. The guy clearly flaunted his power and gave off an air of entitlement. But there was something else - something sinister that emanated from him.

"You've come for the show, no doubt. You've picked a good night, my friend. Have you had a chance to consider my offer?"

Mick gave them a pointed look. "Why don't you guys go get some drinks and enjoy the view for a bit. Me an' Bruce have some business to discuss."

It wasn't a suggestion.

It was an order.

Donovan knew he should speak up, to make some excuse to stay, but he also knew that he was going to need some alcohol in his system if he was going to make it through the evening.

He fell into step between Barry and Tony, catching the movement of one of the grizzlies at the table as he stood and followed them.

"You ever been here?" Donovan asked Barry, keeping his voice low.

"No, I haven't. Not really my scene." Barry shot a nervous glance at their tag-along. "Kinda prefer to feel relaxed when I'm out, ya know?"

They got their drinks and found an empty table not far from Mick and Bruce.

"You know he wants you in," Barry said after a while. He kept his eyes on the dancers, but Donovan knew that he was aware of everything around him. That was the reason Mick had him locked into a roll with his group - Barry had a keen awareness of his surroundings at all times, something he was able to maintain even when his focus was on one thing.

Donovan took the straw from his drink and set it aside before taking a long sip. "I know. Ain't gonna happen."

One of Bruce's lackies approached the stage, motioning impatiently to a young gazelle. Her face remained expressionless as she descended the steps of the stage, allowed him to take her arm and walked with him towards the back rooms. A hippo waited in the doorway, grinning and eager.

A quick word with the customer, an exchange of funds.

Another transaction complete.

It made Donovan sick.

"Bruce is gonna want you in, too. He's probably done his research on you and knows all about those Ivy League offers."

Donovan gave him a hard look. "That doesn't mean shit to me."

"Just be careful, mate. Bruce doesn't like to be told no."

"That's his problem. Not mine."

Mick rejoined them several minutes later as the music faded and the dancers left the stage. He grinned at Donovan. His eyes were too bright, his pupils too dilated. It wasn't hard to tell that he'd sampled some kind of drug while talking with Bruce.

"You're in luck, cuz. Bruce likes you."

"Great," Donovan deadpanned, throwing the rest of his drink back.

"What's comin' up next is all yours, no charge. If you're in, that is."

He wasn't.

He wanted nothing to do with Bruce. He wanted nothing to do with the company he kept, the shifty crap he was up to and not a _damn_ thing to do with this place. He had every intention of saying as much when the lights dimmed and a blue glow shimmered over the stage. A sultry middle eastern beat spilled through the room. On stage, something shifted in the shadows, the blue light catching on the ropes of diamonds draped over its form.

Donovan's breath caught as the creature moved out further into the light. Whatever it was, it was clearly female. Full lips complimented large, brown eyes framed by a waterfall of the deepest black. She wore nothing besides the diamonds that showcased her pale skin and curvaceous form.

"God damn," Mick breathed out. "What _is_ she?"

She began to move with the music - not exactly dancing. More like hypnotizing her captive audience. Men sat transfixed, others quickly indicated their interest to Bruce who sat smirking, knowing he had something that everyone wanted.

Donovan included.

But it wasn't the temptation of her body that held him captive. It was her eyes. Her gaze was on him but she seemed to be staring through him. And her eyes…

He'd never seen such blind terror before.

He could feel the anticipation in the room swell, the hunger of men build feverishly. Any one of them could have her for a price. Any one of them could take her back, ignore that fear and make it so much worse.

Without thinking or even looking at his cousin, he said, "I'm in."

"Knew ya would be," the other man said, grinning. From the corner of his eye, Donovan saw him nod to Bruce.

He could act now, think later. There was no way he was in. But there was also no way he would leave the fate of this creature to men driven wild and careless by their own lust.

One of the lacky grizzlies snapped and the creature turned her head slowly to look at him. She seemed to gather herself, her shoulders tensing, her jaw clenched. And then she walked off stage and to the grizzlie. He pulled a pair of cuffs attached to a length of chain from a storage space just under the stage. She didn't fight him as he clamped them around her wrists. She just stood there, head hung in defeat.

"Follow Boris," Mick instructed, giving him a shove to motivate him.

Donovan moved, though he was hardly aware of what he was doing. The level of noise in the room now held an undercurrent of simmering rage. He ignored it all, following the flash of pale skin and diamonds instead, his mind working frantically to plot a way out of the mess he'd just gotten himself into.

Boris lead the way down a dark hallway. There were unsettling noises coming from many of the rooms, breathy female laughter, guttural grunts and moaning. Boris stopped at the fourth door on the right and pushed the door open. The room was nothing special. A curved couch, a small circular platform with a pole running up into the ceiling. Red glowed from underneath the platform, blending with the blue and making the room look cheap.

Boris pulled a large padlock from his pocket, securing the length of chain to a loop at the edge of the platform. With that done, he gave the chain a yank, pulling the creature off balance and causing her to stumble. With a mean chuckle, he dropped the chain and gave Donovan a salute. "She's yours for the hour, no questions asked. Enjoy."

And with that, he was gone, closing the door behind him.

The creature leaned heavily against the platform, her curtain of hair hiding her face. He could see her shoulders trembling, could tell from the lack of sound that she was holding her breath. He reached out a hand, intending only to get her attention with friendly hand on the shoulder and she flinched away from him with a strangled cry.

"I...ah…," he tried, pulling his hand back and rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm Donovan."

She broke entirely then, dropping to her knees on the floor. Her breath left her on a low sob as she curled into herself, pulling her knees up to her chest and hugging them. He couldn't handle seeing her like that. Whatever she was...she deserved far more than this hell.

Cautiously, he knelt beside her. "I don't want to hurt you. I'm not _going_ to hurt you. Promise."

She lifted her head and those dark, haunted eyes were on him, robbing him of his ability to think straight.

"Is this how you start your game?" she asked, her voice low and sultry.

"Game? No. I mean it. I won't hurt you."

"Why not?" She was suddenly defiant, lifting her head, pushing her shoulders back. Tears had left wet tracks down her face. "They all want to hurt me. I'm nothing but a toy to them. How are you any different?"

"Because I don't even want to be here. Before I saw you, I wanted nothin' more than to get the hell outta here."

Her eyes narrowed and clouded over with distrust. "Before you saw me?"

Donovan nodded. "Yeah. I...you looked scared out of your damn mind. I could hear all the guys around me going crazy for a shot at ya and...I couldn't let that happen. My cousin...he's in with Bruce-."

The mere mention of the name caused her body to seize violently. When Donovan reached out again, intending only to steady her, she didn't jerk away. "They want me to join up with their operation. I'm not interested in anything that they're tryin' to push but...but I couldn't leave you up there, couldn't risk you gettin' carried off by some guy who wouldn't give a shit about what happened to you as long as he got what he wanted in the deal. So I told them I was in."

"I don't understand. You don't even know who I am. You don't even know _what_ I am," she added, her voice catching as a new wave of tears turned her eyes liquid brown.

Donovan lifted a hand, moving slowly in efforts not to startle her. He traced the curve of her jaw, cradled the side of her face in his palm. "I know you're scared and you want outta here even more than I do. That's all I need to know."

He dropped his hand and stood, looking around the room for any possible exit. There was a second level above the bar and the back rooms so ther was no chance of any rooftop access close enough for comfort. His best chance would be to get out of the room and see if there was some kind of back exit.

He started unbuttoning his blue dress shirt and the creature immediately backed away from him. "For you," he explained, pulling it off and handing it to her.

"Um..I can't-."

The chains. Right.

Donovan fished the small switchblade he kept from his pocket, extending it with a flick of his wrist. "For the lock."

Small, concise sentences seemed to work best, though he felt like a fool for using them. She wasn't a child. At least, he didn't think she was.

He sat down on the couch and leaned over the padlock. "So, what's your name?"

She watched him warily, then moved to the platform, sitting on the edge not far from him. "Farah."

Donovan smiled at her. "Pretty. Fits ya."

"Thank you."

"So ah…" He went back to work on the padlock, twisting it and fitting the tip of his blade into the keyhole. "What...are you, exactly?"

"A piece of somebody."

Donovan shot her a confused look.

"If you're looking for a technical term, it's 'human.' But, if you're looking for an explanation, its much more complicated than that."

"How's about I get you outta here, and you can fill me in later?"

The look she gave him nearly broke his heart, so full of fearful hope that he wanted to stop what he was doing and just hold her.

"I'm just going to bring you trouble. Bruce will be furious if he finds out I'm gone. He'll find you and he'll-."

This time, he did stop. He reached across the small distance separating them, taking her hand. "You let me worry about that."

She looked like she wanted to say something but had no idea how to say it. Finally, she settled on a tiny smile and an equally tiny, "thank you."

After giving her hand a reassuring squeeze, he went back to the lock. It took a good ten minutes to work it free, but it finally gave with a metallic pop.

"One down," he said with a grin and a wink. "Move over here and I'll take a look at those cuffs." She moved around the platform, sitting in front of him. He took her hands, cautiously turning them to see where they locked. The latch was towards the back of her wrists. She had to twist her hands in the cuffs and hold them up to her chest so that he could see what he was doing.

Being so close to her, overwhelmed by her intoxicating scent, it was difficult to focus. Every time his fingers brushed her smooth skin, his entire body reacted with a pleasant jolt. He glanced at his watch to check what time it was and saw he had little less than half an hour to get her out of cuffs and put a safe distance between them and Bruce.

The flood of mild panic fed his determination. He focused only on his task, releasing a breath he didn't realize he was holding until the cuffs suddenly snapped open, dropping between them.

"Make quick work of gettin' that shirt on. We're runnin' low on time."

As Farah pulled it on, Donovan went to the door and eased it open to see their "escort" standing in the hallway.

He moved quickly, putting the bear in a choke hold and pulling him into the room. If Farah was startled to see the guard, she didn't show it. The woman had a mean poker face. She reached for the chain and waited patiently, watching the bear thrash against Donovan's steady hold with a glint of satisfaction flashing in her eyes. Finally, the bear went lax, sagging forward.

Farah slipped the open padlock from the loop on the platform, handing it and the length of chain to Donovan who set to work securing them around the guards wrists and ankles. The chains just barely stretched to accommodate. Donovan had to jerk at them to get the extra inch he needed, holding his breath when the man grunted and stirred.

"You know any way outta here?" he asked.

"I'm...I'm not allowed to go anywhere, really. These rooms, the stage, Bruce's table, my...room. That's it."

The way she paused at the end made him think that her room was something else entirely, something that wasn't a room at all. He fought the need to know more, told himself there would be time later. "Well," he stood, glancing at the door, "Guess we can start there."

She stayed close beside him as he opened the door again and looked down the darkened hallway. He lead the way the direction opposite from where they came, hoping like hell it would provide them some kind of exit. He'd take a damn garbage chute if it got them out of there.

Laughter broke out behind them and Farah jumped, grabbing his arm.

"Stay in front of me," he instructed kindly, keeping an eye on the couple stumbling drunkenly away from them. At the end of the hallway, it veered off in two directions - one went back into the club or up a flight of stairs blocked off with a velvet rope. The other lead to what he assumed was a kitchen, judging from the noise and clatter of glass and silverware.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he caught sight of an exit door on the far back wall just as a lumbering hippo came through it, waving at the lingering smoke of his cigarette that attempted to follow him in.

A waiter came around the corner with a tray of food and Donovan jerked back, pulling Farah to his side and tucking her quickly under his arm. The waiter passed them without glancing their way at all.

"There's an exit towards the back. No idea how we're gonna get there without gettin' noticed. It'll have to be fast."

Her wide brown eyes were on him. He was asking a lot of her, he knew that - follow his instructions, trust him blindly without asking any questions. The mental struggle she was going through played over her face like a silent film.

He put his hands on her shoulders and leaned in close. "I know trustin' me ain't an easy thing. But I can't leave you here. You can run for the hills when we hit the door, if you want. You'd be better off stickin' with me, but I won't stop ya."

Her bottom lip disappeared between her teeth as her gaze darted to the empty hallway and back to him. "You wouldn't try to stop me at all?"

"No."

She watched him closely. He could feel the seconds ticking away, could hear every sound from the kitchen as if it were coming from right beside him. But there was something about her that was so much more important than any of that.

Not what she was - that was irrelevant.

Whatever it was though...he needed to know.

Her shoulders went back and determination lit a fire in her eyes. "I'll stay with you."

It was all he needed to hear. With a nod, he let go of her shoulders and took her hand in his, peering around the corner. There was a good chance that waiter would be making his way back. There was no way to determine the level of activity in the kitchen. No way to determine the layout. He'd have to take a leap of faith and hope the hell it paid off.

They moved quickly towards the kitchen and Donovan pulled her up close as they neared it. He wasn't stopping. Wasn't taking a chance to doubt himself. He wrapped his arm tight around her shoulders, hid her as best he could against his side and went for it.

Every second to the door was stretched out agony, filled with him silently telling himself not to look over to see if anyone had noticed them. To the door and out. That was all he needed to focus on.

Once they were out the door, Donovan quickly reached around to stop it from banging shut against the frame. His mind switched quickly over to what had to happen next. There was no way they were going to make it to any place safe on foot. They needed to put distance between themselves and Bruce. The club was out of the city limits so the opportunities to just disappear were scarce.

He scanned the parking lot for something nondescript and started moving towards the rows of parked cars.

"What now?" Farah asked.

Her hand was still in his. She'd made no effort to run from him.

"We find an unlocked car, hotwire it and get the hell out of here. Look for something older. Less chance of an alarm goin' off on us."

They checked car after car. It took six attempts before Donovan found a run down truck with a dented fender and an unlocked door.

"Here, get in," he said, holding the door open for Farah.

She jumped in, reaching up and pulling the sun visor down hoping for keys.

"Try the ashtray," Donovan nodded at it and reached under the wheel, searching for the panel that would give him access to the wiring. He slid his fingers under it, cursing softly when he found it reluctant to give. And then a set of keys was dangling in front of his face.

Farah was smiling down at him. She looked excited, hopeful and so beautiful that his mind went completely blank. "These might work better."

He snagged the keys and sat up, giving a triumphant shout when the truck started right up and then pulled out of the spot and started for the exit, moving slowly so as not to alert anyone. Just as he pulled out of the lot and onto the highway, Farah gasped, reaching for him and grabbing his arm in a vice like grip. "Donovan-."

The door to the club had swung open and men were spilling out. Among them was Bruce, his face contorted in rage.  
'Stay low," he murmured, accelerating. They weren't looking this way. Mick was running for the truck, Barry not far behind. The rest of the men spread out through the parking lot. No one seemed to notice the truck gaining speed on the highway. If they did, Donovan didn't see it. They all disappeared in the rearview once he went around a curve, putting a forest of aspens between them. He punched the accelerator then, the truck easing forwarward, moving steadily towards 90.

He allowed himself to relax. Not fully, but enough so that his grip on the steering wheel didn't hurt his hands. "We're clear."

Farah sat up, glancing back through the window. She didn't move away from him. It was slightly surprising but he didn't question it. Having her near was comforting. Maybe it was the same for her.

"Where are we going?" she asked softly.

"Depends. How much trust you wanna put in me?"

"Five minutes, folks."

Donovan looked up at the guard calling out the remaining time on visitation, then to Johnny. His son looked stricken. Donovan could hardly blame him. Johnny knew very little of his mother. Donovan had hidden her away after her death just as he had hidden her away when she was alive.

"Why?" Johnny breathed. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know how to say anything." Donovan shook his head. Even out loud, the excuse sounded pathetic. "When your mom died...I didn't know how to talk about her. I...I loved her so much and after I lost her...I just couldn't. Just thinkin' about her hurt so damn much. And I was tryin' to figure out how to be a decent dad. Failin' most of the time. When you got older, nothin' I was doin' would have made your mom proud. Not talkin' about her was just easier. Easier than hurtin' all the damn time. Easier than facin' what I'd become. I know none of that matters and I'm sorry for that."

People were starting to get up, saying their goodbyes and filing out. The other convicts were turning to back to their cells. Johnny still sat there, staring at the tabletop between them and looking lost.

"Listen, son-," he reached across the table and took Johnny's hand, finally getting his attention. "The place me and your mom stayed...I ain't been there since I lost her. Everything's the same. None of it can make up for the fact that I kept ya in the dark this long. But it's all I've got."

"Times up, guys. Back to your cells."

Donovan stood, giving Johnny's hand a hard squeeze before letting it go. "Go there. Barry'll give ya the address." He sighed, wishing he could do something more to wipe away the pain and confusion in his son's gaze. "I'm sorry, Johnny."

He'd make it up to him somehow. The house was a start. He'd get the hell out of this place and spend as much time as he needed to making it up to Johnny. But right now, he had a guard breathing down his neck, nudging him to get him moving and he had no choice but to leave him sitting there with the secret he'd held onto for far too long.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** Still hanging on for the ride in between the horribly long wait times for updates? If you are, then you have my deepest thanks and appreciation. I know it's taking me forever. So, without keeping you stuck in authors notes for too long, my quick thanks to everyone who reviewed, everyone who hit "favorite" or "follow" and a special thanks to Foreverknight for going through this for me before posting. Love you hun!

 **Chapter Twelve**

It took a guard nudging him to bring Johnny out of the mindless void he'd slipped into after watching his father retreat to his cell.

"You okay, son?"

He looked up into the concerned face of the rhino, vaguely recalling that the guys name was Steve. "Fine. M'fine."

"You sure? Need me to call for a ride for you or anything?"

"No. No...that's okay."

Steve didn't look like he believed him but gave him a slow nod regardless. "Alright. Well, we're closin' up here kid. So-."

"Um, right." Johnny stood up. Though the shock, he could hardly make sense of himself moving. Every action he was vaguely aware of and accompanied by the constant sensation of his throat constricting. How he made it back to the shop, he had no idea.

Barry was gone, a small blessing in the wake of everything Johnny had just found out. He moved robotically through the shop and towards the living room, sinking down onto the couch and staring at absolutely nothing.

His mother had been human. And his father had kept a secret that huge for this long. What did that make him? Did that make him part human?

Johnny's eyes started to burn. He swallowed past the lump of emotion closing off his throat. Reaching behind him, he pulled his phone from his back pocket and sent a text message to Barry, letting him know that Johnny was closing up for the day. He stared at his phone for a long, pensive moment before sending a text message to Karina as well.

 _Something came up. Can't make it today. See you tomorrow._

He hit send, and then he shut his phone off, tossing it carelessly onto the coffee table.

His thoughts moved in chaotic circles, questions following more questions, desperate reaches at a past that he couldn't remember - one that might have held an image of his mother. He leaned over, praising his elbows on his knees and gripping his throbbing head between his hands. He suddenly wanted it all to stop, to feel nothing and be free of all of it. He wanted the thoughts to go away. He wanted silence.

He went to the kitchen. The narrow cupboard beside the fridge held the one thing his father had left behind that remained untouched. A half finished bottle of scotch and another, less empty bottle of whiskey.

Grabbing a clean glass from the strainer in the sink, Johnny twisted the top off the bottle of whiskey and filled the glass halfway.

He'd never had a drink in his life, not even a cursory sip at any cast parties he'd attended over the past year.

Tonight seemed like a damn good time to start.

Karina sat in the middle of her bed, staring down at the phone in her hands. Johnny's text stared back up at her, looking innocent enough but something sat like sour milk in her stomach. Something was wrong. It was a gut reaction the second she read the words. Simplicity of the text aside, her gut was telling her that whatever had "come up" wasn't okay.

She shot back a quick text, asking if everything was alright and set her phone down, chewing on her nail as she waited for a response.

Her phone remained quiet and dark.

 _He's just busy. Maybe he had to speak with his dad's lawyer or something._

The darker thought whispered from the far recess of her mind - _His father had a problem with me._

The thought hurt so deeply and terrified her to a point of near panic. In order to silence it, she knew she had to keep busy.

She briefly thought about going to the theater and throwing herself into work so that she wouldn't worry herself, but then remembered how she'd left the previous day and quickly nixed that idea. If Johnny wasn't there with her, she had no desire to face everyone on her own and try to explain what had happened.

Even if he was there with her, having to articulate her panic attack wasn't high on her list of things she cared to do any time soon.

With anxiety eating away at her, she tucked her phone into her back pocket and went downstairs. The house was relatively quiet, but then again, it always was, sounds being swallowed by the enormity of the rooms. At times like these, it made Karina uncomfortable. She wasn't used to large, quiet places filled with things that were more expensive than anything she could remember owning. She preferred comfortable, low-key spaces. Places like Johnny's.

The cavernous rooms were suddenly too much and she quickly veered toward the back of the house where the garden room was. The French doors were open, allowing in the mid-morning breeze that teased the ends of the sheer curtains and Karina walked through them. The moment the sun hit her face, she felt much less claustrophobic. She moved down the cobbled pathway, arms around her middle, her racing mind slowing bit by bit.

The garden sprawled over half of the backyard and the side yard - a splash of colorful heaven hidden by towering hedges. Where Nana was mostly composed and old fashioned, here she showed a side of her that was more free and outrageous. There were a few rose bushes here and there but hibiscus flowers, Bougainvillea and Anthurium dominated the space. A bridge arched over a pond with a fountain created from large slabs of rock and filled with water lillies. On the other side of the bridge was a gorgeous vine covered pergola, basket chairs hanging from the wooden beams and swaying under the generous shade from queen palm trees that surrounded it.

Karina sank into one of the basket seats, pushing herself back and lifting her feet to allow the natural swinging motion to soothe her. She slumped against the curved side. As much as she didn't want the negative thoughts filling her mind, in the subdued wildness of the garden, she felt a little more safe in letting them take over.

It was entirely possible that the visit had involved more than just Johnny telling his father about her. She knew there was a lot in the works right now like attempts being made to get his father's release date moved up. But the possibility that his father had reacted that badly to the idea of her seemed more...possible. She hated to think that but rationality forced her to and she couldn't deny that his silence made more sense with that outcome.

 _I wouldn't let anything hurt you. Not if I can help it._ His words echoed in her mind and she tried to take comfort in them, tried to cling to them and feel like she hadn't lost him.

"Miss Karina?"

Startled, she sat up and peered around the side of the basket seat. Robert stood on the bridge, holding the phone. "Call for you, ma'am."

"For me?"

"Yes. A Miss Rosita?" He walked to her and handed her the phone. "Can I get you something to drink, miss?"

"No. That's okay. Thanks Robert."

With a bow, he made an exit and Karina lifted the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

"Hi Karina! It's Rosita. I'm sorry to bother you but I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing."

"Oh, um...I'm alright, I guess. A little embarrassed over what happened yesterday."

"Honey, don't be embarrassed about that at all. We all care about you and just wanted to know that you're alright."

The chill from the thoughts that had been plaguing her all morning faded and she felt a warmth slip around her. Beyond Johnny and Nana, she wasn't accustomed to people caring about her. "I am. And for everything you did yesterday, thank you. How did you...know what was happening?" Karina asked, relaxing back in the swing.

"I have a cousin that I'm very close to. When he was younger, he went through something very traumatic and before he got help with it, he would have flashbacks every once and a while, would go into shock. I took a course in first aid and trauma response just so that I could help him when he'd go through an episode so I knew what was happening when I saw you. I'm so sorry for everything you went through."

Karina's eyes started to burn. She sniffed back tears. "Thank you."

"Absolutely. I'm really glad Johnny was able to be there for you, too. I'm a bit of a mama bear when it comes to him, so it's great to see how connected you two are."

"Yeah. He's been...he's been amazing."

"You haven't heard from him at all, have you?"

"No, not since this morning. He sent me a text after he visited his dad saying that something came up and he wouldn't be picking me up today."

"Hm. That's...not really like him." Rosita fell silent for a moment and in that silence, the chill found a way to return and edge out the warmth. "You know, I'm sure he's fine. He's had a lot on his shoulders, building a business from the ground up and getting out of his father's shadow. I just...his phone's going straight to voicemail, he's not picking up the shop phone…"

Karina swallowed hard, suddenly very uncomfortable with everything Rosita was saying. It didn't sound like Johnny suddenly making himself unavailable was normal at all.

"You know what? I'm probably just being overprotective. I'm sure he's fine. And your going to be at the theater tomorrow?"

"I ah...I think so, yes," she answered, though she wasn't certain at all.

"Okay, I'll let Ash know. She was wondering."

 _We're supposed to get together tomorrow. That's right…_

"Take care, Karina. I'm glad you're feeling better."

"Thanks Rosita. I'll see you later."

"Bye, hun."

Karina disconnected the call and set the phone down beside her. She couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling that something was off now that she had talked to Rosita. Her perkiness had done nothing to cover the notes of worry in her voice. Karina needed to do something. Not just sit here spinning her thoughts in anxious circles.

Grabbing the phone, she left the serenity of the garden in search of Robert and found him just inside the doorway to the garden room.

"I need a ride," she said, handing him the phone.

"To the theater?"

"No, um...to Johnny's shop. Do you know where that is?"

Robert gave a curt nod. "Yes, ma'am. We're dedicated patrons to his business."

Karina breathed a sigh of relief. "Would you be able to take me there? Please?"

"Of course, Miss Karina."

She ran upstairs to change, trading her shorts for navy blue leggings and pulling on a gray zip-up hoodie over her tank top. She rushed out of her room and caught Nana as she started down the stairs.  
"Going somewhere, dear?" the older woman asked, arching a brow.

"I think something happened at the prison. I don't know what but something just doesn't feel right," Karina tried to explain, knowing she sounded crazy. She'd known Johnny a few days. Not hardly enough to understand how his mind worked. But what little she knew paired with how Rosita sounded on the phone left an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach that sat like a jagged rock.

The brow came down. "Go. Call me if you need anything and please, let me know if everything is alright."

"I will."

Robert was waiting outside, the car running, and Karina quickly slid into the backseat. By the time they pulled up in front of the shop which sat still and quiet, it's doors shut and the sign in the window stating that it was closed, Karina's nerves were painfully on edge. She quietly thanked Robert and got out, staring up at the building for a moment and telling herself to be brave, that Johnny wouldn't turn her away.

After knocking, she waited a full minute, listening to the silence before trying the door and finding it unlocked. She went inside, closing the door carefully behind her and trying not to make too much noise.

"Johnny?"

The low hum of the refrigerator answered her. She tapped her fist against the side of her leg, feeling awkward and hesitant. Maybe she was overreacting and nothing was really that wrong. She'd just told herself that something was enough that she believed it and acted on it.

But then there was the other side of it. What if she wasn't overreacting?

She started forward through the darkened shop, past a truck with its hood up, an oily rag hanging over the bumper. The television came into view - on but muted. And then she saw Johnny, slumped against the couch, one arm hanging over the armrest. On the floor under his arm was a glass laying on its side, what remained of its contents polled around it.

"Johnny?" she called out again.

He didn't answer, didn't even move and when she glanced to the table and saw the half empty bottle of liquor, she panicked, rushing to his side and kneeling down in front of him.

"Johnny...hey, wake up." She jostled his leg.

He grunted and opened his eyes. They were bleary and horribly bloodshot. "Karina?"

"Hi," she said softly, taking his hand.

"What'r you doin' here?"

"Checking on you. I was worried. Are you okay?"

He shifted forward and moaned, bracing his elbow on his knee and dropping his forehead into his palm. "I dunno."

"How much have you had to drink?"

Another moan, this one far more pained. "Too damn much. M'head hurts."

Karina glanced back at the bottle, wondering just how full it had been before he had gotten to it. "You're not going to be sick, are you?"

"Already did that."

He started to slump forward and she caught him, struggling with his near dead weight but

determined not to drop him on his face. "Okay, we need to get you into bed. Can you walk?"

"Can try."

Karina placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed him back, leveling what she hopped was a commanding glare on him. "You fall on me, and we're going to have a problem."

He grinned down on her, his eyes remaining clouded and lost. She wanted to know what had happened to put that look there but knew that making him talk about it now would be a mistake. "You're adorably terrifying," he murmured. "Thanks...for comin' over to check on me."

Even when drunk, his words stirred emotions in her that made her feel weak and overheated. She reached up, tracing his jaw with her fingertips. "You're welcome. Come on." She stood, taking his hands. "You need rest."

For as intoxicated as he was, he did his best to help her and together, they made it to his room without stumbling or falling over. Johnny sat down, shrugged out of his jacket and started trying to get his shirt off, but struggled and Karina stepped in front of him, helping him out of it and tossing it at the foot of his bed. She gritted her teeth against the sudden surge of lust. Now really wasn't the time for such emotions but seeing him in nothing but jeans made it difficult.

She managed not to sigh in relief when Johnny slumped over, burying his face in his pillow with a groan. She pulled the blankets up over him, going to her knees beside the bed. Johnny turned his head to look at her, reaching for her hand and grasping it. Through the agonized gleam in his eyes, she could see a desperation, a need to purge himself of whatever he was holding onto.

"We don't have to talk about this now," she whispered, kissing his hand.

"You'll stay?"

"Of course. We'll talk after you have a chance to sleep it off, okay?"

He nodded and closed his eyes. It took less than a few minutes for his grip to slacken and his breathing to even out. Karina slid her hand away, brushed her fingers indulgently over his brow, then stood and walked back out to the living room. She kept herself busy mopping up the spilled liquor on the floor, straightening up the living room, then taking the bottle of booze and moving to the kitchen to stash it in the cupboard above the stove before doing what few dishes sat beside the sink.

When that was done, she stood in the middle of the living room, looking around and having no idea what to do with herself. Johnny's place was cozy and he kept it relatively clean so there wasn't much left for her to do. Anywhere beyond where she'd already been felt oddly off limits so she returned to his room where she could at least feel comfortable and be there when he woke up.

He was still sleeping soundly, one arm dangling off the bed. Karina toed off her boots, removed her sweatshirt and climbed into bed beside him, wiggling under the covers and snuggling up to his warmth. She wasn't tired and yet, she found herself lulled to sleep by the heat and gave in to the temptation to close her eyes, sliding an arm around his waist.

Her name left him in a hushed whisper and she smiled, shushing him gently before drifting off.

Johnny woke up to two very conflicting feelings - comfort, and a splitting headache. He groaned, pressing his palm to his forehead. If this was what he got for drinking too much his first time around, it was going to be his first and last time ever indulging. There was nothing appealing enough about drinking to make him welcome _this_ level of pain. His throat was dry, he could still taste the fact that he'd been sick which made him feel like he wanted to be sick all over again and the headache was unlike anything he'd been cursed with before.

But then there was the conflicting feeling of comfort that had him confused until he rolled onto his back and realized he wasn't alone.

Karina lay next to him on her back, holding a book open above her. She glanced over at him with a sympathetic grin. "There's a glass of water and some tylenol on the table next to you."

"Thank god," he muttered, levering himself up on one arm and reaching over to grab it. He tossed the pills back and drained the contents of the glass, suddenly very aware of how thirsty he was but his quick movements earned him a sharp stab of pain at the back of his head and he closed his eyes against it, blindly setting the glass aside before shoving his face into his pillow.

"Please tell me I didn't puke in front of you," he said after the throbbing had faded somewhat.

Karina smoothed a hand over his shoulders. "No, I missed out on that."

"Good."

Her fingers combed soothingly through his fur. He lay still under her explorations, fully enjoying every minute of it, even through the hazy ache clinging to the back of his skull. "What time is it?"

"Seven fifty." She shifted beside him, moving closer, one leg pressing against his.

"At night?"

"No...you slept through the night. It's Friday."

He turned his head to look at her. Her smile was so peaceful, her eyes glowing with a sympathetic understanding that had been lacking so much in his life. He saw a hint of it in the way his theater family would look at him sometimes but there was always just enough pity to make him shy away from it, unwilling to accept pity from anyone. That's where his pride seemed to draw the line.

But there was no pity in the way Karina looked at him.

"Thanks...for stayin'."

"You asked me to," she murmured, pillowing her head on her arm, her free hand finding his. "Are you hungry? I can try to find you something."

Just the thought of food made his stomach roll. "No, that's okay. Not really feelin' up to eatin' right now."

"How about coffee? Not speaking from true experience here, but it might help."

"Sure. I'll take some coffee."

She leaned over to give him a quick kiss, then scooted out of the bed. Once she was gone, he awkwardly sat up and leaned against the headboard, closing his eyes against another wave of nausea. He was going to dump every bottle of alcohol in the damn place once he felt better. All he could really manage at the moment, however, was shooting a quick text to Barry to let him know the shop was going to be closed today. He started to set his phone aside when he remembered something his father had said. After a moment's hesitation, he typed out:

 _Dad told me about my mom yesterday. He said you'd be able to tell me where they stayed._

His thumb hovered over the send icon for several moments before he finally tapped it and set his phone aside. It buzzed as Karina walked back in the room and he forced himself not to pick it up to see what Barry's response had been.

"Here you go." Karina handed him the mug and the scent of the steaming liquid alone worked wonders on the nausea, calming it to a point where he felt that taking a sip wouldn't have him reaching for a bucket.

She climbed back into bed beside him and picked up her book, marking the page before closing it and setting it up on the window ledge above the side of his bed.

"You're not going to have any?" Johnny asked.

She shook her head. "I've been up for a little over an hour already so I've already had a few cups."

It was then that he noticed the coffee cup sitting on the ledge beside her book. He liked the way it looked there - something that was so obviously not his looking so natural on something he'd never considered using as a shelf. Something that was Karina.

She tucked herself up next to him, crossing her stocking feet at the ankle and laying her head on his shoulder. She sat quietly - not asking, not expecting. Why she had felt the need to check on him didn't matter to him at all. He was just glad she was there. He reached for one of her hands, sliding his fingers through hers.

"Feeling better?" she asked after he'd nearly drained the contents of his mug.

"Gettin' there, yeah." He paused for a minute. There was the hesitation again, the fear of opening up to a past he knew nothing about. "My dad...he ah...he told me about my mum yesterday."

Her hand tightened around his, offering that silent, unexpecting support he desperately needed right now. He squeezed hers back because in seconds, she was going to need it as much as he did.

"She was like you."

Her hand jerked, her body went tense and her head came off his shoulder. "Like me?"

"Human."

She twisted to face him, her eyes impossibly wide. "Oh my God-."

Johnny nodded. "When I showed your picture to him, he just lost it. Told me to put it away, to not show anyone. Then said that my mum was just like you."

Much like he did when his father had dropped the bomb on him, Karina struggled for words. He could see the way her mind was racing in her eyes alone. "He found her in some club. The guy who owned it was using her to bring in money, selling her off to the highest bidder every night." She seemed to focus more on him as he spoke. He needed her to focus. It was selfish, but he needed her to be calm so that he could stay calm. So he continued. And once he started, he couldn't seem to stop. He needed it out of his head, needed someone else to hear it.

"My dad got her out and hid her somewhere. I don't know how she got here. He didn't have a lot of time to tell me much. Just told me to ask Barry for the address of the place they stayed. I didn't….I didn't know anything about my mum aside from how she died. Even that wasn't somethin' my dad told me. Barry told me what happened after me and my dad got into it pretty bad one night. Thought me knowin' how she went, how much she meant to my dad would help me understand him a bit more"

"Did it?" Karina asked, her voice soft.

"Kinda. I never knew how long they'd been together before they had me." He set the empty coffee cup aside. "I knew next to nothin'. What Barry gave me was...somethin' I guess. She got sick after she had me and Barry said there wasn't anything that could be done to help her get better. Knowin' what I know now...makes sense that no one was able to do anything. They couldn't bring her anywhere. Barry said that between him and dad, they did everything they could but six days after I was born, she passed and then dad just...stopped talkin' about her. Moved back to the city, got into organized crime. That's the only life I knew up until now."

Karina's fingertips touched his cheek and it was then that he realized he was crying. He drew a staggering breath and she moved closer, her arms going around his neck, her forehead resting against his. He closed his eyes, reveling in the closeness.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

He could only shake his head, finding it impossible to speak past the lump of emotion in his throat. His chest was tight, his eyes burning. He leaned into her support and let go of everything else he was holding back. "All my life, I've felt cut off from my dad. If he woulda just told me...if he woulda just trusted me with all of that...I could have felt like I was connected to him, like I wasn't just an accessory for him to use when it came to pullin' off heists. I wouldn't have felt so damn alone all the time."

The weight pressing down on him slipped away as the last words left him and the tightness in his chest eased, allowing him to breathe again, allowing the sorrow free reign. Karina held him tight, her hands traveling soothing paths over the back of his head, his neck and shoulders. He was grateful to have her there, even if she had seen him at an all time low. He didn't want to be facing any of this on his own.

He felt her breath against his cheek as she whispered her regrets for him. Instinctively, he turned towards it. There was no thinking when his mouth found hers. Blind need reached in and flicked the switch off on rational thought. He needed her - no thought beyond that seemed to matter.

He kissed her slowly, searching for a deeper connection and she turned in his arms, sighing and inviting him in further when he pulled her into his lap.

Caution was an honest attempt on both of their parts, but it was easily overcome by the desperation to be closer, to feel comfort in the darkness of uncertainty and the shadows of both of their pasts. Holding Karina like that, kissing her without thinking anywhere past that kiss, felt so damn good and he was hurting far more than he even realized.

Her arms went around his neck, her legs on either side of his. He pulled her as close as he could, shuddering when she moaned softly, twisting them both until she lay under him.

Karina's hands moved down his chest and stomach, her fingers playing along the waistline of his jeans and he knew he should stop her. He knew he should have backed away. He had no idea what came next or how to handle the situation beyond kissing, something his hormones didn't seem to care about in the least.

They broke away from each other, gasping for air and Karina dropped her head back, exposing her neck. The curve of it enticed him. He leaned in and brushed his nose just below her ear, inhaling her scent. Her reaction wasn't what he expected at all. She gasped, her legs clamping tightly around his waist, her hands going to his shoulders, fingers gripping them tightly. He hesitated only a moment before pressing his mouth against her neck and his pulse leapt as she clung more tightly to him, moaning low in her throat. She took his face between her hands, dragging him back to her waiting lips.

There was going to be a breaking point, a moment of no return that they were going to miss if they didn't stop and as much as he wanted her, he didn't want her like this - not when they were both hurting and confused, picking their way through a mess they didn't create but had to live in.

He managed to pull himself away from her. Her hands slackened, remaining on either side of his face. In her silence, he could feel her acceptance and understanding. He rested his forehead against hers, willing his heart to slow and his breath to steady. It was a boost to his worn ego that she seemed to be doing the same thing.

"I don't understand what you do to me," Karina said in a near whisper, her gaze searching his. "I'm nervous and excited and so many other things I can't define, things that I feel like I should recognize. It's all wrapped up in what I _do_ know. Comfort and warmth. What is this?"

The first word that came to Johnny's mind scared the hell out of him.

Love.

He kissed her once, slow and careful. "I don't know. It's all new to me, too. I've never felt like this about anyone before."

Her fingertips traced lightly over his brow. "We'll figure it out, right?"

"Yeah, course we will." He rolled onto his side and she snuggled against him. "You...ah...you wanna come out to this place with me? Maybe you could find some answers out there too?"

"You would let me go with you?"

"I want you to. I don't...I don't wanna face this alone."

She was quiet for a moment. Then her arm stole around his waist and she pressed her face to his chest, offering that same silent support from before. "Then you won't."


End file.
